Okay, so this is what's been going on lately. I have a mind for philosophy and i always ask what if, combined with my given empathy for other people's feelings, which to me is a bad combination. Why? Because i always ask what if, that's why!

For example, one time in gym, i couldn't play because i had boots on, so i had to sit out. During the people played i thought to myself and my goal of completing my story idea that i had thought of ever since i was a smaller tyke than 14 years old. I asked, what if i got lazy and just stopped doing it? Now this is when my empathy comes in. It takes over and makes me get the feeling of being lazy and not wanting to complete it, even though i do want to complete it. This messes with my head and my philosophy+empathy fight with what i really want in my mind over and over again, and when the teacher blew the whistle, a drop of blood came down my nose and i was like O.O wth? while i was still fighting myself x-x so am i mental now or what? x-x""""