Okay, as most of u prob know I was having problems with my boyfriend and suspected him of cheating for obvious reasons: The un-explainable scratch on his back, being with his friends everyday, feeling distant w/ him, arguing more often, not having sex.... Anyway, lately around the end of january he all the sudden changed (in a good way) but it kinda took me by suprise w/ all the sudden changes he has made for our relationship.. like now he wants to come see me all the time, he calls me 2 or 3 times a day, he doesn't spend much time w/ his "friends", he shows more care in my feelings and talks about the futre and comforts me... it just seems so strange, but i am enjoying that he changed and im very happy about it.. I just don't wanna be the stupid girl that gets sucked back in and in a few months he starts being a dick again. Because from december, all thru january i felt so uneasy about our relationship and it makes me think "why couldn't he have been like this then and all that shit could have never happened" it makes me sick to my stomach to think about "the scratch situation" b/c to tell u the truth i don't want to believe anything happened. who knows maybe nothing did. idk, i just think i need to be extra cautious that things might go back to the way they were when i suspected something.... what do ya'll think??
For anyone who will listen (update on situation)
**I dont know if you remember me, but I read your posts a little bit and have been following the situation a little bit.
I know you are probably very very close with him, You have mentioned that you have had sex with him multiple times, so I hope that he is pretty close to you. I'd just suggest that as he is getting closer to you, just be careful at first. Really try to evaluate yourself if he is being completely honest with you. Before you make yourself completely vulnerable, ask yourself, is he being completely vulnerable in his love for you too? Trust takes two people, especially if you don't want to get hurt from trusting the other person.
I'd say that he probably just had a hard time in his life for a month or so, but if he is spending so much more time with you, then he probably is thinking about you a lot more, and probably likes you a lot.
It sounds good, Im glad for you, that you are happy and that things are working out. Just keep us updated as what goes on =D**
You never know when you will meet the perfect person.
thanks, im being extra cautious about everything now... he was going thru a hard time all thru january, his dad had a heart attack and had open heart surgery... he was real stressed around that time that could be why he was so distant.... but thing's now are going great and have been since early febuary, i'll keep posted on what happens. hopefully thing's will stay this way
yeah, the ideal situation is that everything continues to go very smoothly and you get closely, but you have to make sure you look out for your own self sometimes too.
By the way, can you tell me what things caused you to be worried in January? You mentioned a scratch on his back, among other things. What physical things did you actually notice?
You never know when you will meet the perfect person.
Everyone has a gut feeling and mine was very strong all thru january.. I felt as if he was a different person, he acted like it was a job to spend time w/ me so i would be happy which made things worse. he would sometimes stay real late at his buddies house, and would call me and talk for maybe 10min. I felt i wasnt important to him.. u know u wanna feel like their number one person? I did up until dec. and jan.
He would never communicate w/ me as much. when he came over on weekends all we'd do is stay at my house and sleep, and we would used to go out every friday and saturday. everything seemed so different and i couldn't stand it b/c it kept getting worse until one night around the beginning of febuary we got into real bad and he left.. then he text me and said "I'm sorry for overeacting, it was stupid of me, are upset?" (for the first time in awhile he admitted to a mistake) i said "no, im just worried about our relationship and what is going to happen" he said "I will do anything for u not to feel that way babe, what can i do to change things?" I told him "i don't know i just want things to be like they used to be im not happy anymore" and from then on he has made a big change..
About the scratch... its one of the worst feelings i ever had in my life it made me sick to my stomach. i wrote all about it in one of my other threads. It didn't look like it came from someone but it was the way he acted about it when i confronted him.. he was lying about something. I do love him with all my heart, I just dont want to get hurt.
So, do you think your relationship is fatally poisoned -- or not?
<i>Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.</i> -- MLK
Not anymore, I think if it keeps going the way it has been we can turn things around and have a healthy relationship. Though, I'm not gonna get my hopes up...
When things were bad I thought it was a lost cause and we were going to be over soon, so i lost hope and i really did just shut down and stopped trying to make things work b/c everything i did to try to better our relationship had no effect and i couldn't take it anymore.. I was an inch away from giving up and saying it was over. I had everything planned out like what i was going to say and how to say, i started hanging out w/ my friends more at the end of jan. to keep my mind off him b/c he was all i could think about and it hurt even more to have him on my mind. so i was slowly weening myself off him, i know it sounds kind of strange but he's like a drug and its hard to quit giving in to him.. i read about a bunch of stuff on the net how ppl can be like a drug to u and its hard pulling yourself away.
but now i know it will be twice as hard to get away from him, if things get bad again. i just need to think positive.