Hi, some of you may not know me and some of you may have forgotten me but I am a member who at one point used to post here often. I suffered from depression very badly and anxiety too and I was I will admit, very negative all the time. I had struggled with this for most of my life as some will know, and to get where I am now is not easy.Basically, I would like to inform anyone who is suffering from a low point in their life, that things can improve. For me, it took a few years to discover what was right, to suit me and it may for you too, but when found life does change, for the best.For a little snippet of what I suffered I will explain briefly:I Suffered from anxiety all my life, struggling to mix with others and be who I am, constantly questioning every move and motive that I made. I became down and depressed at 16 when I gained a little time on my hands leaving school and thinking about why I was finding life hard. Life is hard, but knowing that you can't accept yourself as you are and be who you are is the worst part. I discovered that there something was wrong, why I couldn't pull my weight and show myself for who was, but rather keep myself quiet and shy and show little signs of emotion to not draw attention to myself (anxiety). I became depressed, lonely and scared of the world, feeling like I did not fit in or have a future. I decided enough was enough, and regardless what others thought I needed to pursue this problem and face it head on to defeat the cause.After evaluating the struggle I had in my life, I went to my doctor with my parents, they evaluated my opinion on what I was unhappy with and what I struggled with and suggested I see a therapist. I thought at first, it was crazy, and only insane people needed therapists. But to be totally honest, a therapist can be just someone to speak to and a freidn, which was what I needed. They will help you, evaluate your problems and suggest solutions to suit you. I was sceptical at first, but over time it made sense. The mind is a complicated thing, but after discovering what prompts the mind to behave the way it does - it does all make sense.I took 2yrs of therapy, congnitive behavioural therapy to fully understand why I was being the way I was. On it's own it provided me with tools and ways to approach situations in my life I found difficult, and I achived so much as starting college, getting good grades, a job and having a nice social life - which seemed unlikely and non-existant when I left school. I wanted to improve further, and since there was only one possibility left to try, I tried medication. I was always sceptical of medication and I always (wrongly) assumed it was for weaker, undevoted people. But I proved myself wrong. I was to begin with prescribed prozac which was horrible for me. After 2 weeks trial I decided I was going to come off, until I realised that I should try another anti-depressant, citalopram (celexa). It did indeed control my anxiety completely, but after months of use, it seemed to not affect my depression which in itself was becoming worse. I did my own research and found that for people like me suffering from both anxiety and depression paxil (paroxetine) had the best results. I feared it at first, due to the unwelcome publicity of the drug. But I decided, if it suited me best, why not?I started paxil (paroxetine) on my final year of college, and my god, the world turned around. It felt those horrible, dark rain clouds had finnaly dissapeared and the blue sky and sun was treating me. I never felt so good in my whole life, using the tools I had and the medication provided there was no stopping me. The world was my oyster, and there was room for me. I got myself a job straight away that I wanted, and I made some nice money. I successfully completed my college course gaining top marks and went soundly to university.Although sone may find this unappealing or boring, but for those who are suffering from a significant degree of depression or whatever you struggle is, there is hope. I have proved that, I went from little to nothing - to something. It won't be easy, but learning to accept who you are and face your fear as part of the big step, is the most significant, life changing thing you can do to promote yourself on the road to success.To some of you, you may think what I have done is not really a big deal, but listen, at one point I couldn't leave the house or make friends. Now I have a nice life, friends, family who understand me, a good job and nothing I regret. That is something, that to me, if you are struggling enough, anyone would want. To me, these things have made my life complete. I only hope that by reading this you can do the same for yourselves.To understand yourself is the biggest acomplishment and to know who you are, and why you are the way you are.Goodluck, and remember there is hope.I hope that I can only give people reassurance that there is light at the end of the tunnel.If you have any questions you can pm me.Thank you.
I'd just like to say life can improve
Sometimes we say things that hurt ourselves and others that were not meant, so I leapt from my life's struggles and long running regret
This is such great news, notsogood! I'm very glad for you, and thank you for posting it to give others hope also.
I'm right with you there bud I used to be at a low point with all the shit I went through that is so unique at the age I was.... But now I look upon it as a growing point and I'm a stronger person for it.