Empty

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I'm 13.Ever since getting involved and then removed from drugs, alcohol and parties, I've been left with emptiness.Its been since November and I still crave with every waking second of my life.I'm starting to lose grip.I can't help myself right now.I won't resort to drugs, no way. They've fucked me up enough already.I have a well-paying job, so I have alot of money usually.But what they say is so, so true. Money can't buy happiness; it doesn't.I have no friends. By friend, I mean someone who I'll still talk to next year.They've all moved on, because of my house-arrest, I couldn't hang out, etc. It wouldn't have been a smart idea anyways, as they were the ones who got me on E in the first place.I'd trade everything I have in the world for a friend.I keep telling myself I won't try to kill myself..I don't like the blood anyways.But about two weeks ago, I went through 70 Advil in three days.I don't want to be suicidal, but I've lost a point to life...I've given up.Can anyone give me some in-sight?

Instead of turning to the negative things that have happened. Look at the positive! You have COMPLETELY turned your life around!! Which is such an amazing step! You have a well paying job.. how many 13 year olds can say they have achieved that much. You seem to be a smart young man and have a good head on your shoulders.Maybe you can try joining a group or something.. if it's really that bad.. maybe you can consider switching schools.

I agree with pink - you've achieved a very great deal. There aren't many 13 year olds who have kicked drugs and have a well-paying job. I think you're going to achieve a lot.

I'm not surprised that your feeling lonely/empty/sad or whatever right now. In spite of the fact that what you were doing was not good and you've made some great choices (kudos to you, kid!), you have also suffered a loss. You've lost friends, your lifestyle, etc. That's a loss and some grief is normal.But the good news...ahh...the good news. You can now start to put a new life together for yourself. Funny...that's kind of what I'm doing at almost 3x your age. Find and develop new, healthy friends. Do that by going to healthy places and being involved in healthy activities. The kids you previously wouldn't think of being friends with cause they weren't into what you were into...I bet there's some good folks there.Sadness around a loss is normal. Feel it, appreciate it, and then move on. You are thirteen years old. That is a gift in itself, my friend. You got a lot of living to do!Good luck to you.

I forgot to ask...Are you in a recovery/relapse prevention program? That is a necessary.