I had unprotected sex with someone that was not monogomous to me. The person he had sex with found out that her boyfriend was diagnosed with Herpes. She is supposed to go for testing, but now I don't know anything other than that the person I was with was with her a day or so before he was with me sexually, and this was about 5 days ago. What are my options? I don't notice anything other than a small darkish spot near the opening of my vagina on my outer labia and I could be overreacting about some overall tingling sensations (and maybe redness?) I'm getting down there. There's bumps down there but they've always been down there my whole life and nothing comes out of them when squeezed. I heard it takes 3 months for antibodies to surface. Is it too early to go get tested? The other problem is that I am in a seriously committed relationship with someone else and I am worried I could affect him if I have to wait 3-4 months to be tested. I can't tell him about it, either. I really need to know what to do next - please don't judge me.
Scared Need To Know Next Step
You probably are safe and have nothing... but you can't be sure and it's not fair to pass anything on to him if you have.
If you do not want to put him at risk the only thing you could do is try to avoid having sex with your partner now by making up some excuse like your having stomach problems maybe? Just until you get tested and you're sure. Or
Tell him you cheated and now you're scared because...
here's how i got herpes:
i was dating a guy and got it. i told him and he said that he'd slept with another woman and her husband had it.
so whether that was bs or not i don't know, but doesn't really matter, does it?
please get tested right away, and don't have sex until you know for sure. you made a mistake and unfortunately, it may be time to pay the piper.
There are a few definitions I think I interpret differently from you that you use in your post. First is the word monogomous. To be monogomous means to me that you're in a relationship with someone and only having sexual relations with that person. However, you are already in a relationship with someonelse so you really can't expect the guy you suspect of having herpes to be 'monogomous'. If anything, he was unfaithful to you. The second is you state that you're in a seriously 'committed' relationship with someone, but obviously you're not in a 'seriously' committed relationship if your sleeping around with someone else. Now i'm not judging you or anything, but don't you think you have a right to tell your boyfriend that you slept around and its very likely that you have an std (this is if you do). If you don't then maybe you shouldn't tell him, but I think that if you have unprotected sex with someone else then you are violating the trust your boyfriend has in you because there are other things than herpes out there that i'm sure you don't want to pass on to him.
Get tested and don't forget to communicate or talk to someone about what you're going through. I'm sorry if I came down on you, but it is important to communicate with your boyfriend. The guy who you suspect has herpes could have easily kept you in the dark, but he didn't.