I'm going to use this as my outlet again to get yet another disturbing event off my chest. Recently a woman walked into our ER, and she just started screaming I came running and just as I reached the counter she turned and grabbed me and began sobbing, "O god it's coming out" The woman had miscarriage standing there looking into my eyes. And I feal so F-ed up because the only words I could make come out of my mouth were "can I get you a wheelchair?" The woman was discharged later that night and approached me and told me thank you and gave me a big hug. I could not even utter a simple I'm sorry. Now is where I'm at an stand-still, I'm mad at myself for not sitting down and crying with her, and I feal bad for her but at the same time I'm so angry at her for making me feal bad, witch makes me feal like I'm a monster and I just want to bash my head in. I've sat with the social worker and talked about this but the tears just will not come. I hope sharing this will start the process for I fear I'm on the verge of a blow-up.
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Confused Feelings?
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ttp, all of us that work within the medical a environment are faced with things that can leave us stuck for words. The fact that she came up and thanked you should be enough for you to know that she appreciated you being there.
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People who are in your position should not get emotional. People in need, who are hysterical, confused, scared, whatever, count on you to be cool, calm, collected because that is the only way to think straight.However, it's hard to separate your emotions from your job. If you were to become emotionally involved with everyones injuries and losses you would become a basket-case. Don't beat yourself up over this although you probably should talk to someone to work out the emotional conflict especially for the environment you work in.
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I'm a pretty tuff nut to crack that is with the ushual stuff, angry family members an-so on. But when it involves me directly it tears me up inside. On the outside I'm a stone cold hardass, but in my free time I ushally go to the nursery to help feed the sick infants. I havent done that in a while becouse i'm fighting off a wicked cold, and even though they say there is no way I could transmit this to the babies I'd just kill mysef if I was responsible for making one of them sick.
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Do you have a girl you can go to about this ttp? I don't know about you, but talking to a female about certain issues such as conflict of feeling usually makes me feel better.
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Man I can't imagine how hard it was for you to stand there with that woman, seeing the pain in her eyes. Sometimes we can do nothing more than just being there, we don't have the words to say what we want, but being there was enough, as said the fact that she came back to you and thanked you showed that it meant something that you were there with her, she wasn't alone. You're not alone either, it's hard ot stay emotionally detached, we're human we feel emotions. I know how hard it is to maintain a fasade of strength of nothing affecting you, when inside you just want to fall down and cry. I think the hug that she gave you said a lot, she thanked you in a big way. You helped her wether it seemed to you that you did or not. You are not a monster for feeling angry at her. Healing takes time, it hurts but heling will come. I can do nothing more than to offer my prayes for you. and this woman.
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Doing better, in more ways than one. My cold is gone so I have returned to the nursery and I have now identified this as my sanctuary, I feal so at peace with everything when I'm feeding the infants. When the baby I'm holding looks up at me every bad feeling in my entire body is just gone... [websexinfo]---> It's hard to get that close to someone I mean to show someone where you hurt is like showing someone how to hurt you, I just dont trust anyone in my life enough to share that with, yet.... I hope to one day have a woman in my life whom with I can share anything whithout fear of getting hurt.
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I know what you mean. I'm sure you'll find a woman sooner or later.
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Most of us who have had at least one serous relationship have the scars to prove it.