Going on anymore

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thats it i have had enough! i dont want to have this going on anymore, i dont want to live! i dont see my life going anywhere, i dont see myself in the future.. i have been struggling with this stupid waste of a fucking stupid exsistance that i call my life!

i have NO ONE in the world that i can talk to, my life is one big cover-up, i try and pretend that i am someone else where my family is normal and my mother doesnt shout at me and call me a C**T and keep telling mee that i am going to be like my father oneday and throw chairs around and plates and SLAMMING the door all the time!!!

I hate being told i am useless and that i am a loser and that i have no friends!

why is it that everytime something reasonably bad happens the the rest of us have to suffer because of it!!

SHE SCARES THE SHIT OUT OF ME, everytime she enters a room a great shiver runs up the back of my spine and everytime a door slams i think its her!

i dont want to live ANYMORE - no one will help me, i dont tell my friends because they will all think i am a lier because mum is SO NICE the everyone ELSE!!!

PLEASE SOMEONE HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

You certainly don't want to keep living in an environment like that if you can get out. You've said before you are 18, so you cannot be forced to stay. Is there any relative - a grandparent or aunt perhaps, that you could stay with for a while?What are your hopes and dreams for the future?

If the military isn't your thing what about the peace corp or something like that.

It will pass my dear. I grew up in a similar situation to the one you just described. I contemplated suicide and all, but luckily I was able to understand the big picture: My mom may have some mantal problems, but that does not concern me.I find that the things I hated about her, are things that now I DO!! To my poor girlfriend. Your mom is just trying to do the best she can with you, and that is the only way she knows how to show it. Once you live apart from her for a while, I'm guessing you will find her more tolerable and see eye to eye more. Hang in there, these feelings will pass and you'll still be the great person you are, only stronger and with more experience.