Hey everyone.I've been going out with this girl thats two school years below me for a week now. We met at a youth club on a Friday night, then started going out on the Monday. Thing is, we spend no time together other than that. I see her for maybe 5 minutes during the school day, but there's no conversation, just a hello/goodbye thing going on. The only time I've spend a decent amount of time with her since is this Friday, at the youth club. But it's been a long weekend, and we've both been doing revision, but she still goes out with her mates and stuff and leaves no time for me. We live pretty close to each other and it's just weird that we don't see more of each other.Apparently her mum is really strict, but she still gets to go into town with her mates (as in, meet mates in town, not them calling on her) so her mum wouldn't even know. Grr.And there is a mutual friend in this, who I am in a band with. We were practicing yesterday, and my GF was on MSN, so I was talking to her. She asked to talk to the mutual friend, so I handed the laptop over. I asked for the laptop back about 10 mins later, to search for guitar tab, and the mutual friend told me not to open the conversation with my GF. I waiting til she wasn't looking, then obviously did. It was about me, I didn't see it all, but apparently when we kiss it is 'sloppy' and my GF was asking the mutual friend how to avoid this. Now don't get me wrong, but my GF said I was her first kiss (as in make-out) so I don't get how she's criticizing. I maybe am a crap kisser, but I don't get why she was saying all that stuff to a mutual friend. It's wierd.Oh and then there's the dreaded myspace. My GF spends a LOT of time on there (just got back from a school exchange, so she goes and talks to her foreign buddies, no problem) but for someone that updates their myspace as regularly as that, her status is still single, she still has a paragraph about wanting to meet a guy that isn't a dickhead to her, and there's even a newly uploaded seductive picture of her with her finger in her mouth, and the words 'pop my cherry' written on it.Can you see why I'm MILDLY pissed off? I know she hasn't had much relationship experience and stuff, but this takes the piss. I feel like she wants me there at school, but isn't bothered to put any effort into the relationship.[/rant]
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Relationship vent..
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And your wondering if the age difference is a big deal? Her behavior is lending itself to the answer you seek.At your ages you guys are looking for,and doing different things. EDIT: Sorry, I just read another post that you responded to. Got my peops mixed up. Anyway, I still think that the age gap will apply.
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ah yes, everyone always finds out things online. funnily enough for me, the guy that i'm hanging out with now brought up about going to my myspace and finding out about things, haha.well, if i were u, i guess i wouldn't worry about her or maybe...maybe bring the kissing part up and be like, i had a "feeling" u don't like my kissing, but don't say u read the convo just be like, i felt it or something i dunno if u get what i'm saying. maybe ask what she wants out of you i dunno...do you know if she really likes you? i think it really depends on that?it can't be as bad as my "relationship" which really isn't a relationship at all, it's more like a "fling" i figured i wouldn't start a new thread and continue from yours.so anyway, i've been hanging out with this dude for almost a month now and we've already gone and done it a couple times, ya know? and like four days ago, I found out he was married!!! he just wasn't wearing a ring while he was with me. i asked if he had a girlfriend when i first met him and he responded with "kind of, not really, no." well that is technically kind of true. it's a WIFE...in the back of my mind, i was thinking, "he's probably married." but i didn't want to ask b/c he wasn't wearing a ring then and i woulda felt weird. (he's 24 and i'm 21)the same night i found out he was married for sure, i still went back to him. i don't know. i'm just honestly, really physically attracted to him, i like him a lil but NOT a lot. what would you do if you found out someone was married, but you were really really really really physically attracted to him/her from before and couldn't help yourself? he isn't from around where i live, but is from the same state and i guess that's where his wife is and he goes home on the weekends. but he leaves this wednesday for good and i usually meet up with him at places or he calls me. if i see him before he leaves, what should i do? what would you do?he asked if i cared about it now that i found out, but i told him no, but i really do kinda care it's just that i don't want to care anymore because either way i am played, heh.
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Are you inviting her on dates and she is saying no? Or are you expecting her to suggest things? She will be expecting you to take the lead.Revision time is a difficult time, and the going out with her friends may have been long-planned, or something that is so habitual that she always does it.I don't think you should have looked at the conversation.The problems you are having may be an illustration of the problems of a significant age difference. She probably doesn't feel she needs to work at the relationship, because at her age relationships are taken fairly lightly.
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i know age shouldn't matter, but 13 is a bit too young if u ask me. i'd feel like she were my sister or something. my brother is 13 and i'm 21 but if i was 17 and liked one of his friends or something, that would just feel weird. i would try to find someone your own age if you're lookin' for something.
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I'm only 16, she's nearly 14...just to clarify.I'm not expecting a huge amount from this relationship, but grr. I don't know where I'm going with this...I want to talk to her and get to know her well, but she just wont give me the chance, ya know?And no, I'm not going to lie and pretend otherwise, because the point of this forum is to be completely truthful (hence why i love it here), I haven't asked her on a date, because quite frankly, I haven't a clue WHERE to go. The best thing I can think of is the cinema, and I hate that idea because it's so corny.But hey relationships are pretty corny at that age right?Thanks for the replies.Helmsman, you made me laugh! I'm not laughing at the advice, it's just funny to imagine a big tank of a bloke like you saying 'drop it like its hot'
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Ok, small update, I was talking to the mutual friend today (didn't mention that I had seen the conversation) and she was saying that my gf is scared of spending a lot of time with me in case there isn't much to talk about. She thinks she is afraid of being around me too much because she is new to relationships and doesn't have much experience talking to a guy she's in a relationship with. That makes sense to me, but how to I go about making her more confident around me? Any tips?Cheers.
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Apparently your girlfriend doesn't understand what dating is about. Maybe you should explain to her, that it is about getting to know each other. That just won't happen if she wont spend any time with you.
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Thanks. That statement helped a lot I'm not being sarcastic here, it actually did, because I've been lying to myself that if I leave this, she will slowly get to know me and become more confident around me. Buy she wont if she doesn't spend time with me. Thankyou, PepsiChaser
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I feel you bro. I was in the same boat some 8 months ago. My girlfriend was the same exact way. She was scared that if we saw each other all the time, that we would fight, and get sick of one another. I explained if that's how she feels then why are you in this thing to begin with? It aint gonna be all sunshine and rainbows, am I right?Anyway, just mention to her that it is healthy for the relationship, and the more time you spend together, the more time you'll know if it's real.