Last year in June I began dating a new girl. We were both fresh out of relationships but hit it off well. She was living with her ex. and needed to go through a property settlement (she told me that she wasn't married but here in Australia the laws say if you live together for > 1 year that the joint assets are treated like those of a married couple).
Anyway we moved in together after two months. It was early but we thought if moving in together is going to break us up it's better to happen sooner. We've been happy together though I always had my suspicions that she had married him. I met him once by accident and he said that he is her husband. She was with me and just down played it all. I asker her later if she had married him and she said no. Further into the relationship after about six months I heard her speaking with her lawyer and something clued me into the fact that she might be married to him. I asker her again on a few different occasions and she always said NO. We had already spoken of our plans for a serious relationship with views to marriage later on. Still however she said that she was never married.
Then about one month ago (about 10 months into the relationship) while looking for some documents at home, I found a Marriage certificate, obviously proving that she was indeed married for almost 9 years (I'm 26, she's 28). I was quite upset and felt hurt that I had been lied to even though we had discussed marriage of our own. I felt betrayed and stupid as though I'd been taken for a ride.
She still has not told me though I've indicated to her that I know. I just want her to be honest with me, I told her that I'm quite upset that she hasn't told me <something> and that she has not been honest with me. I've told her that if she's really serious about spending the rest of our lives together that we should be completely honest with each other. There have been things I was ashamed of, and things I wasn't fond of telling her, but I always told her these private things so that she can make a fair judgement of me and so that she knew that I'd always be honest with her.
Now I still feel betrayed, hurt and I feel like she's broken a trust. Do you think that I'm being too hard/selfish in having these feelings? Do you think I'm blowing this out of proportion? I feel that if it was just a fling then it's probably no big deal, but we had discussed marriage and a full life together and she still denied it.
Please let me know your thoughts.