I honestly can't say I know.
I have a biological father I don't know.. I hear when I was first learning to walk he would actually kick me down. I hear he also made remarks about how I'd "take care of him". He planned on having me work for the rest of my life to support his old ass.
The only memories I have of him are scattered. One memory of him was him telling me if I quit going over to his house I'd always regret it later in life. Of course I also remember one time going over to his house and being deprived of under garments.. and that being the topic of conversation in the living room. A very uncomfortable situation. I wasn't naked.. but, when your 5 or so and in a room full of people talking about you not wearing under garments... it gets awkward.. but, sadly.. I don't have any more detailed memories of that. Although I hear stories about how he held a gun to me/my mother while I was an infant.. And my great grandfather before he died asked if I ever herd from him again.. He said if I ever see him again beat him XD.
I dunno if my 'step father' is abusive. I wouldn't label him abusive. However, I would label him annoying. He is the kind of person who will raise his voice thinking it makes him "right". Plus he has done a lot of stupid stuff. He would lecture us on the most idiotic things ever. He.. actually both my parents pretty much never let me go anywhere..they would grill me with questions until I just decided not to go.
One time he threatened to hit me and call the cops all in one sitting for "looking at him wrong" in public. Lol.. i was lying down on the steps of bleechers because only one row had shade and the steps.. No one had gone on the stairs all day. So naturally one person has to use them and he starts yelling about how i'm a dumbass for being in the way... I look at him pissed off. (actually pretty much everyoen in the bleechers did too).. So.. we get home and he threatens to hit me and then call the cops. the irony? it was in the middle of summer in louisiana.. and he was busting my ass for being in the shade... when he didn't excately offer his seat when he started yelling at me.
I have been called dumbass or halfass alot because he wasn't happy with whatever job I did mostly when I was younger.. He was never happy with my work.. however, he has never repremanded my brothers for doing a bad job.. Infact looking back on it... he said "he does a good job!" however, I assure you niether of my brothers do that much better or worse then I did.
I think the biggest kicker of all is just how far the bar has dropped. I've been given pointless lectures more times then I can count about how I needed better friends, or how blah blah blah.
Hell one time in college I was sick.. he said he would pick me up from college.. In an attempt to keep him from getting pissed off.. I actually went home. I didn't want to.. I just know that if I didn't go home and I didn't get better they would be unendingly pissed at me. I get home.. that night he tells me next time I get sick stay at college because I might have been exposed to a biological attack and I'm endangering the family by coming home. My mom intervenes by saying "you invite him home one day and tell him not to come back the next?" he replies "so you could show him how to use medicine". lol.. I'm 19 .. its not like I can't afford to go to the dollar store and buy some..and read the bottle on how to use it..
Oh yes the most recent incident. He said "I communicate as part of a living. You never talk to me.. people who don't talk are either stupid or hiding something.. that scares me.. I'm scared of you.. Your options are start communicating or get kicked out."
With that said... I have never been beaten.. However, my ex girlfriend was physical hit and emotionally and psychologically tortured. I still love her.. I always will.. however, I'm gunna say she was tortured.. She loved animals and her father would do sadistic shit to animals.. Kinda sick fuck who would skin kittins alive. I am not dating the girl and she doesn't want to talk to me anymore..to help her move on or so she says.. Anyway not to detract from the original point.. He tortured her.. She would have been much better never knowing him. If I ever see him.. and realise he is her father.. I would not hesitate to beat the ever to beat the living shit out of him. My ex is a royal mess... I worry about her every so often and think about her a lot.
I can only speak from what limited experience I have.. but, I think its better for a child to not be around abusive parents at all... My ex is the kind of person who just.... I mean you look at her and you can't help but, feel she is innocent.. you talk to her and you can't help but, to like her.. Anyone who would do anything to someone like her.. I would not regret hitting.. beating.. Hell someone who would hurt an innocent person the way she has been tortured deserves death.
As to the abused kids sitaution.. I hate to say it but, some people are drawn to each other for a reason.. its probably not coinsidence.
However, I guess its also worth pointing out.. I am not encouraging abuse ever under any circumstances.. People who are abused can do some amazing stuff. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger..
This cut is constantly bleeding
But I know that I am wrong
Lay your head down so you don't remember
Everything you are and everythin...