I am 17 male, my girlfriend 19 female (ofcourse, just reiterating) [SIC] anyways.. she says she wants to wait till marriage before she has sex which im ok with externally not really internally but i say okay... but then she says she doesnt know if oral sex is a sin too... and i guess im trying to tell her that because god thinks that sex is for baby making oral isnt... but shes like i just dont know.. this girl is easy manipulated when it comes from her church or her family... and i just frankly dont care for religion but she does... i dont wanna use alcohol or drugs on her because tahts just not who i am i want to feel comfertable with her as she is with me... maybe i should just get a different girlfriend? idk what do you guys think? i just dont wnana wait till marriage which is 6+ years etc. to get some from a girlfriend... and i apologize for my spelling mistakes i wrote this kind of with a rush.. thanks for any help
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Quistion about my relationship
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Which is it that you want, a relationship or a sex partner? Guys for years have used their hand for company until their girlfriend/ new wife was ready. You can too.
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Bottom line is, if you're that big of a dick, castrate yourself now. It is HER choice to have sex and not be manipulated or pressured by YOU AT ALL. Save her the time and let her go, she deserves more then that.
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I think it would be well advised for you to move on and find a girl who's value system is more in line with yours. The long term viability does not bode well for a relationship with such divergent basic principals. That statement is not meant to impugn one value system or the other, rather it's just a statement of experience.
Sex is a legitimate want in a relationship, while it's not the be all, end all, by any means, it is legitimate. As you will soon be a "legal" adult, I think it advisable to find someone who can fulfill all your needs, not just the platonic and not just the sexual.
Short of actual intercourse there are other ways to enjoy each other sexually and maybe alleviate your tensions such as mutual masturbation or watching each other masturbate, dry humping or so on. If that's not good enough for you then I hold to what I said previously.
With regard to the drugs and alcohol approach, it's good to hear you say that's "not you" but I must say don't even give it passing consideration. It's illegal and plain wrong on so many levels. Not only that, sex is so much more than simply sticking your dick in somebody's puss. Sex is an exchange of emotion, a closeness, a communion, two people coming together and actively giving and taking, even when neither of them know for sure what they're doing.
Without the reciprocity of a willing partner your just as well off masturbating to a picture of her naked. If you were going to knock her out you might as well fuck a dead person. I'm sure both experiences would be equally fulfilling.
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I really think I worded it wrong, because i honestly dont sound like what all of you described... I care for this girl a lot, might not sound like it, i really do... its just sometimes i just wish i can get more then just kissing... its way boring... im pretty ugly too so i cant really get a girl and i got no girls in line or anything so if i dont have her i really have no one... its my first g/f so yeah..
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See, you say that, and then you say something like "im pretty ugly too so i cant really get a girl and i got no girls in line or anything so if i dont have her i really have no one" If you actually care about her, then sex shouldn't matter in the very long run. Sex is supposed to be either a fun thing to be added into a great relationship, or something meaningless that you do for kicks. you cannot have it both ways in one relationship.
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well im just trying to say the basis that no one really is in line after, so its not like if shes not fit to my propertions i can just move on, and ide rather be with someone then no one... i really do care about her its just sometimes i guess im with her and im in the mood and she is too.. thats the thing that kills me, shes in the mood and wants to so bad, but says she cant because she thinks its a sin... i would want it to be something fun and great in my relationship with her...i think otherwise shes perfect like everything about her, beauty inside and out... i guess shes not the same religion as me but otherwise, not much conflicts... and then the sex... but i feel like its a big part.. i dont wanna sound like a guy but i dont really care... sex is a big part for me, but i guess ill have to get over that or just wait till something comes up i soppose
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Wow, your not helping your case. I have dated guys like you. Insecurity, and wanting something from the relationship that isn't there, are relationship killers. In time, she will notice that your just there because your afraid of leaving, then she will be rid of you.Love is being with someone not because you HAVE to, but because you want to. It is about commitments, patience, and loving the other person as they are. If you really love her, you will embrace her values, and support her in them. And this value, is something that is only temporary, it is not like she isn't going to NEVER have sex. If your the lucky guy who marries her, your gonna be the one getting it.Leave it alone, go rub one out, and don't push her. If you get pushy, and she caves, she just might dump you because of the guilt and shame for her. And she will blame you for pushing and having no respect.If you can't deal with it, move on. I have never broke up with someone and had someone "waiting"...I broke up because it wasn't the relationship for me. Trust me, you will live.Your only lonely when your alone, because your in shitty companyBecome someone you like.
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I somewhat support her in her values, i just dont want to wait 8 years to have sex at 26? i dont care if i sound like every other guy, sex releves stress and other stuff i read about but i dont remember off top of my head, and its 3am so im like half asleep, but yeah...
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Quote: sex releves stress and other stuff So does bowling. Maybe she'd like that.
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Hahhaha Nice
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if you want to make jokes, go to new york city, and become a stand up comedian... i wasn't joking it realeases, uhh ephedire [SIC]? but yeah its not like i made that part of that, i read about it...
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I think it's perfectly normal for you to want to have sex. She doesn't. You obviously have different values, and maybe if you are sexually frustrated, you should find a girlfiren who you;re more suited to. And maybe she should have a boyfriend with the same beliefs, it would make it a lot easier on her.