I really dont know what to do about this. We got a new roomate in our townhouse about 2 weeks ago and I am finding myself with a big crush on him. It is a problem especially since my bf who lives seperatly has had a work shift change lately so I am seeing him less than normal and roomates jobs have given the "crush" and myself a fair bit of alone time. The crush and myself get along great and have had some really good conversations and moments hanging out getting to know each other at first and he is definitly good looking. He has now come onto me, and when I told him I had a bf he backed off but still manages to get to me now and then in a seductive way. I have even fantasied about him. It would be really hard to avoid him all the time, and I think trying to stay at the bf's would get a little wierd if I all of a sudden just started being there a lot.
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How not to cheat?
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tbh there is no answer in my opinion , only yu can decide wheather or not your going to cheat on your bf ,
if you really do love your bf , than you know whats best :smile:
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You CHOOSE to cheat. either you CHOOSE to or you dont, you have complete control over your actions, it's not how not to cheat, it's just don't do it!
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Originally Posted By: HelmsmaNYou can be roommates, and a great relationship and still not fuck him.Hmm...I dunno helmsman. That's along the lines of...to take control of my actions or not take control of my actions. That is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to kick dude to the curb or to keep him there as a temptation. Ask your boyfriend what he thinks you should do.
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she tells the bf and I promise you the answer is boot his ass out.Of course if my gf started a convo like that with me, Id say boot his ass, then because she was actually thinking about cheating Id dump her ass as well a few weeks later after Id fucked up the compatitions life by making him move and find a new place.thats the sorta prick I amJavas right, its very simple, how not to cheat is to simply not cheat.
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Java is right on the money here. What do you value more, your boyfriend, or gettin' some? I mean yeah sure, you and "crush" might be the perfect match, but cheating on your boyfriend is just wrong. Break up with him first if you think you wanna be with "crush".All you do is NOT cheat, its that simple. You tell the guy to back off.
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well actually, if hes coming on to her and wouldnt stop then the best solution would be to kick him out,
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Quote: I told him I had a bf he backed off but still manages to get to me now and then in a seductive way. thats what i was referring to, but i dont quite know if that means hes still coming on to her, or shes taking what hes saying as seductive, but if he is still coming on to her and refusing to stop than he should get das boot fairly quickly
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She may be seeing what she wants to. I want to see him touching me in a seductive way so any bodily contact is misconstrued. Yeah I know helmsman. I was only moking (mocking/jocking) wow...i must be high to have just written that...but anywho. As Java said, and I do wholeheartedly agree...to not cheat is simple...don't do it.
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I agree with Helms.
This is obviously a problem area and, even if he is trying to do the right thing, it is a huge temptation for you. And when you're trying to do the right thing, you don't wait until the moment of crisis...the last point of decision. You do what you need to do in order to avoid getting to that place. Which for you might mean not living with this guy. Cause I can tell you, all of the good intentions and hearty resolve in the world won't prevent what you're trying to avoid without an actual plan to avoid it. -
Quote:She may be seeing what she wants to. I want to see him touching me in a seductive way so any bodily contact is misconstrued. I was thinking the same thing, but I figured if I would have mentioned that someone would scream at me :P
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I would agree with both of you...of course it would be foolish to agree with one and not the other since your were saying the same thing, no? But if she's at a point where everything starts looking like a come on, she's in the danger zone.
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A pro active plan is needed here. Room mate or not, she knows she is crushing. She should at LEAST make it REALLY known to the room mate that she doesn't want to. We are all in situations where we have to say no.If she is straight up with him now, and he keeps pushing she may lose the respect required to go further with the room mate. I know I lose a TON of respect for a guy when I say I couldn't go there with him and he pushes it. It is one of the fastest ways for me to sock ya in the jaw!! (It was my boss at a party once!)