ok..well some shit happend friday but it hasn;t made me sick it;s just got me... mad at myself and askign myself things...
I was getting some gas and I heard this girl go hey hottie. didn't pay her no attention just kept on pumping the gas. She did it again. I thought she was talking to someone in particular ( as in NOT me) and well then another girl goes hey hottie with the green truck. Then I start looking around like a idiot. No one has a green truck. Hell there wasn't any trucks there but mine and a suv.. but a suv isn't a truck even if they were calling it a truck it was white...so yea) well then she does it again.. I looked at her after that and she was like moving her hand like come here.... I pointed to the gas tank. And she yells when ur done getting gas come over here. ( I was scared to death!!! I didn't know wut to do......) I was like finishing and going in to pay and thinking wtf do I do. leave and be a asshole or be nice and go over there. So I get to my truck and while I open the door she screams come over.. again. So I get in and drive over and roll down the window and keep my ass in the truck. Then she's asking me stuff (name if I live near by... that kinda small chat stuff) and invites me to go on a party barge (for u that don't know it's a big boat thing) with them. Instead of saying no I just nodded and told them I had to go. I didn't think of telling them I had a gf.. Really I was too... I dk. I just couldn't talk.
Now while that seems harmless ........ And it was.. Until ...... After I left they followed me to McDonalds. I I think they followed me .. It was a wired coincident(?spelling) if they didn't) I go in and I ordered my food and then they come in. one of the girls came up to me really close and asked me again if I was going to met them. I couldn't say anything this girl. I wish / I know I should have told her but the words would not come out. Honestly I couldn't even think about telling her I have a gf and I'm not meeting them. My head was just screaming leave leave...
She was so close...freaking me out. they called my order and I move a step and she stopped me and she was freaking me out then she touches me. Runs her finger down the side of my chest and tells me it would be worth it. ( I think my heart was in my throat when she pulled that shit).
Now for the past few days (this happened Friday) I've been felling really gulity over not telling them i have a gf.. and about something i didn't mention that happened when she touched me.. Very embarrassing. I feel like if I had told them at the gas station the McDonalds wouldn't have happened. I just.. I really didn't even want to go up to them at the gas station in the first place but I didn't want to be rude and wut if they needed directions or something. AND I didn't want to go up and say well I have a gf and then them look at me like I'm a concedent nut case and then ask for like directions or say something an look like a fool. But I wish I had told them I had a gf. I think if I had been less a chicken ass then the other wouldn't; have happened.
I couldn't say shit tho. I was like nodding my head and grinning like a doof and not standing up for myself. I mean at the gas station all I said was my name when they asked and they asked me if I was from the area... and I answered. Short and sweet and a lot of nodding my head like a spazz... At McDonalds I couldn't say anything.. I was like a frozen ...something. All I could get out was I got to go (witch sounded more like I ..I .. g ..g..go...t..to ..gooo.. I Haven't stuttered in a couple of years and it just came back. They were scaring me to death!! I'm really pissed at myself
I was going to post this when it happened but I talked myself out of it... I feel bad that I'm a spineless woos and could make myself tel them to go away.
Something I been asking myself for the past days is how can people be so bold? I wish I was.. I dk. I dk if it was fear or shyness that was so paralyzing.