alright. so where to start for this one. ai yi yi...
there's this girl who i've been hanging out with every day pretty much ever since summer started. we go all the way back and we didn't really used to hang out a lot, just now we have.
and almost every time she introduces me to her guy friends or friends of her guy friends, at least one of them shows interest in me ((it's been the case every single time)), whether it's wanting to get in my pants, or claiming they would date me if it came to that...when they barely even know me. she thinks i'm with her just to look for guys. i don't have to be with her to look for guys, i can do that on my own terms. i'm just there to hang out. and looking for guys with her never crossed my mind.
last sunday night, we hung out at a friend of her's house, this guy named ryne, i'm also friends with his sister ashley. apparently he told his other friend who in turn, told tara, that he would be interested in dating me if that came to the case, a while back when we first started hanging out.
after a while, i had to drop off tara and her fiance back at their house cuz they needed to go home, and i went back because i said i'd hang out with ashley and well this other guy, chris, too. i don't kno why, i'm just not comfortable around ryne. it's nothing against him, but i can't like even have a conversation with him. but with chris (ryne's friend), it was easy talking to him...so tara found out about that, everyone there knew chris was trying to get in my pants and she thinks i came back there for only him when it wasn't so.
tara sent me a long message saying that i'm always seeking guy's attention whenever i'm with her, blah blah blah and how i was rude to ryne and how it reflects her and tom (her fiance). ok i will admit i have a hard time saying hi to people, because i'm like that i guess, and it just becomes awkward. i don't know why i can't say hi to anyone i barely know or anyone else. so i guess they took it the wrong way.
anyway, she's a girl u wouldn't want to get on her bad side and she'll take in the message wrong, when i replied back to her, of course she read everything in the wrong way. i'm surprised i hung out with her for this long.
should i sort things out with her? or just ignore her? i don't know what i want to do because she does get mad about some of the stupidest things and she's one of those rambunctious, loud, type people and will definitely voice her opinions. i'm surprised her fiance is still with her because whenever i'm at their house, she's ALWAYS yelling at him about SOMETHING, but that's not my business, just giving an example is all.
she also gets pissed whenever another friend of mine makes plans with me and i can't hang out with her because of work or something else. also, say i make plans with another friend first, when i didn't know tara would ask me to do something later on that day, and the first friend cancels, she gets mad that i decide to hang out with her, too. but if she had asked me first to hang out, i still would have.
i don't know whether or not i want to patch things up with her. my other friend who hung out with her way back in middle school, got out while she could because she knew tara is a big drama queen, too. should i do the same? is this a "way out" for me?
...my life's just full of drama, i love it...NOT
alright. so where to start for this one. ai yi yi...
all it sounds like is that the girls you are talking about is bitchy and wants attention and to start drama. if she's going to flip out on you for the smallest things like that then i dont think you need her in your life. let her be pissed for awhile and if she wants, she'll come back to you. its your decision whether you let her or not.
+even though i had to go through shit,i wouldn't take any of it back+
Quote:ok i will admit i have a hard time saying hi to people, because i'm like that i guess, and it just becomes awkward. i don't know why i can't say hi to anyone i barely know or anyone else. so i guess they took it the wrong way.
Did you tell your friend these exact words? Some people do have a hard time trying to meet new people because it feels arkward and out of their comfort zone. They just don't know what to say or do or even feel put off by the person because not everyone will mesh together well.
I say to give your friend some time to cool off and then talk to her again how sometimes you just don't feel comfortable with certain people. I don't think (or at least, hope so) that you do this to every person you meet to purposely be rude. If she drags this on and on like that Gene guy in your other post, then you might want to drop communication with her as well.
But do you just said 'hi' and just move on to the next person? Or do you earnestly try to start a conversation to see if you have some things in common with people? What is it about Ryne you didn't find comfortable?
<span style='font-size: 14pt'><span style='font-family: Times New Roman'><span style="color: #3333FF">No matter how gifted, you alone can not chang...
Quote:Did you tell your friend these exact words?
Yeah, I did, and she still went off on me. I told her she should know me by now and that I hardly ever say hi to anyone, but she still was like that was really rude of you to not say anything to the person that invited you over, etc. etc.
I mean I know it was, but I do have an explanation, I don't just do it to be rude.Quote:But do you just said 'hi' and just move on to the next person? Or do you earnestly try to start a conversation to see if you have some things in common with people? What is it about Ryne you didn't find comfortable?
Sometimes I say hi, but I did start a few conversations with him before, but it ended up being few words, though.
I'm not really sure why I don't feel comfortable around him. I guess I don't feel like I could be myself around him for some reason, even if he did invite me over to his house. She's known me for so long and everyone knows that I do have a hard time meeting people, and talking to them.
Lol, honestly, one of my friends told me that someone thought I had a mental problem or something, but it's not that at all. I'm just not a people person unless I think I can be myself around ya, I guess.
Yeah, I think I will ignore her for a while. I already sent Ryne a message myself saying what the whole ordeal is and it's nothing against him nor is it bad manners for me. Funnily, even though I'm a communications major, I give myself a hard time meeting people. I hope I grow out of this phase because it's been 21 years and I'm gonna have to sooner or later.
I just think it's really stupid if she's gonna stop hanging out with me for this, so whenever she decides to get her head out of her ass, I suppose I'll still talk to her.
She definitely is a bitch, no matter if I'm her friend or not, I know she is. I do have fun with her, but I'm tired of everything people have been giving me, so I think I just might let her, whenever she gets her common sense back, to talk to me when she wants. I'm the more forgiving type. She's the type that'll stop being ur friend for reasons such as this.
this girl just sent me a message. i didn't bother reading it tho, because whatever it said, it was pissy enough to make her take me off her top friends...yeah that's how retarded ((i just wanna scream)).....this girl is acting.
she thinks that the only reason i hang out with her is because i can't find anything better to do. she acts like she's my only friend in the world. yeah sometimes i made up legit excuses to not hang out cuz i didn't want to say we hang out way too much sometimes (i actually got tired of driving her everywhere) because she obviously would take it the wrong way like she has everything else. whenever my other friend would call me, she even told me that i was always with tara and it bugged her because she wanted to ask me to hang out.
i finally sent tara one final thought, just like i sent gene. i didn't say this to her, but i thought i'm giving her one more chance to take a really good look at why she's mad at me, and if those reasons are good enough to stop hanging out anymore.
i wrote that if she is gonna think what she still thinks, that's fine and i'll let her be, but i know the truth and wish she could be in my shoes to see how much she really is the one treating me more like shit rather than me to her.
tara really thinks i do everything intentionally. like i guess she saw another friend of mine wrote on my comments that she wanted to hang out with me this weekend, ya know? that was before tara asked me to hang out, but this girl lives far away and plans just fell through.
and i guess tara went to her page and saw that i wrote i was definitely available to hang out if anything were to happen, but this was before i even knew i would be doing anything with tara. so the night she said she would call me to go over to ryne's house, she thought i didn't want to go and that's why she didn't call. i told her earlier in the day i would go. i'm guessing that's also what set her off, too.
i don't even know what she's truly mad at me for ((or if it's for other people and taking it out on me))...if it's the way i behaved toward ryne, i told her that's between me and ryne and it has nothing to do with her besides the fact that she introduced us both, i just can't for really some odd reason be myself around him.
i'm just saying she didn't have a right to be as furious as she is now about it, so furious, she decides to stop talking to me/hangout out with me. i told her that it's up to her to decide whether or not she wants to stop talking to me or hanging out with me for the STUPIDEST, i definitely told her, everything she's mad about are the STUPIDEST reasons ever.
it sucks because i'll be at ryne's house again, but on his sister's behalf, and tara'll probably be there, too. but i already told ashley to tell her brother i'm not gonna deal with with tara there.
I think you really do love the drama, which is why you didn't get rid of Tara so long ago when your other friends did. Now, however, the drama's on you, and I take it you are not too fond of such a thing.
If you really don't want the drama, and you are really convinced that it is all from Tara, then just stop hanging out with her. I'm not ready to call Tara a bitch like the rest of the people here, because we've only one side of the story—yours. If everything you've said is true, then you need only read what you've already written to give you the answer I've given. Get rid of your friend if you don't enjoy the results hanging out with her brings.
Most of this stuff you've talked about isn't even that big of a deal, and I honestly think you're making
mountainsentire planets out of little mole hills, most likely because, like I said earlier, you actually do like the drama. Prove me wrong, get rid of your friend, and ease your life's worries.
"It ... stands to reason the the perfect deterrent would never need to be exercised." - <i>unsupervised</i>
i'm not the one that makes a big deal out of the littlest things, that's her. i'm just pissed at the fact that she's pissed at me for the stupidest things which even really aren't true.
she's the type of person who all throughout high school depended on mostly one friend, and she's lost many friends because of the way she's been treating me toward then.
but instead of me giving up on her like everyone else has, i tried one last time to reason with her. part of me does just want to cut her off, but another part of me just wants to see if she will get her head out of her ass...
i just noticed in my inbox she sent me two messages...
at the rate she's going, i'm honestly surprised she hasn't removed me as online friends on facebook and myspace. (or perhaps maybe i spoke to soon, and she will soon enough) i dunno, but i'm still on there as of now, just not on top anymore. ah...i'm saying all this cuz she thinks that matters a lot, lol.
i know i'll most likely see her tomorrow...what i'm asking now is: should i read the messages now, or wait until i see her tomorrow to see how she reacts? i'm actually afraid to read people's responses to me, because i know they don't think the same, so i sometimes wait a few days to read them, lol. i dunno why.
well that was quick. i guess ... she finally called me this morning after a week to say that she was mad at me, but not as mad as i thought she was, even tho i've said all this about her, which is true tho, i guess she realized the reasons that she was mad at me for were in fact stupid reasons...and i thoroughly explained to her what went on the night she was mad at me.
but the person that was mad at me more was ryne. and i already told him i have a hard time to talk to people, i'm just not ignoring him, so i dunno about him.
i guess she's not mad at me anymore or something. not sure, just a misunderstanding she said. but from the message she sent me, i thought she was the one who was really mad at me for something.
i did hate to talk about her like the way i did because yeah she did piss me off sometimes, and yeah, she really is like the way i describe, but it's just all frustrating, heh.
>Sometimes I say hi, but I did start a few conversations with him before, but it ended up being few words, though.
I know exactly what you mean. Usually, I don't like to talk around people when I first meet them, because I want to see what they are like (so I don't say something offensive to them). There are people out there that are just plain awkward to talk with, for whatever reason, and then there are people you can't shut up around... You just don't click with that guy, I don't understand why your friend doesn't get that.
<span style="color: #00CCCC"> It's your thing, do what you wanna do. I can't tell you who to sock it to.</span>
Quote:There are people out there that are just plain awkward to talk with, for whatever reason, and then there are people you can't shut up around...
ain't that the truth! it's like, in a way, you trust everyone you meet if u open up right away, ya know? and even tho he may be harmless, i just don't trust everyone anymore at first, that is.
well, i didn't really see her last night, i knew she was there because i saw her car, but i saw the dude that i "ignored" and he didn't really pay attention to me, just gave me a dirty look or some sort, lol.
yea it sucks that we're not really good friends because i can't talk to him and don't feel like i can be myself around him, but i don't really choose, or maybe i do, who i like to talk to or not. i dunno how to explain it, my senses just tell me that i shouldn't talk to him, even tho he may be nice.
when i thought she was extremely mad at me about this, i definitely chewed her out, and i think she has a better understanding now, and i definitely pointed out to her the reasons she was mad at me for were pretty stupid, i dunno why she waited a week to call me, but she called me yesterday to finally admit that yea she was pissed about some of them, but she knows it's definitely not enough to ruin a friendship.
i mean, i just can't seem to talk to people nicely first and they only listen to me when i like "yell" at them or act a certain way. i told her that she never listens to me when i try to explain myself and i pointed out other several problems.
i dunno if i can be friends with the guy tho, i guess i did make things too awkward. and i explained thoroughly to him as well why i act that way, and i guess he doesn't understand, or maybe he does, but doesn't want to deal with it.