I've had very bad anger issues (It runs in the family.)Whenever I get angry, I start tear'ing, I breathe heavy, it's very hard to talk and I smash anything I can find. My fists don't hurt when I hit a wall/door or anything. Lately I've been having a BIG issue with my older brother. He calls me a dumbass, pushes me around, punches me all the time. (These aren't play punches.) He has this habit. When he gets mad at me, he says, "Come here" and If i stand within like 2-3 feet from him he says, "Come closer" and I don't obviously because hes going to hit me. And if I don't get closer, he says, "Stop giving me an attitude, if you just came closer in the first place this wouldn't have happened." I mean like WOW... I hate him, I hate everything about him. His attitude, his face, I just HATE HIM, he is so IGNORANT. And usually when we get in an arguement, when I try to prove my point, he gets angry and yells at my face and pushes me. Then that gets ME angry and I shout back (I don't do it on purpose.). I have a bad habit of punching my head, pulling my hair, smashing the walls when he does that too. Now I tryed to talk to him, tell him i'm not his bit$! and he can't threaten me all the time. Then he gets angrier and says, "YOU WANNA TAKE THIS OUTSIDE". Now that, that is what REALLY ticks me off, he acts like hes hardcore to me. Now if you're wondering, i'm 15, he's 19, He is twice my size and weight. Then he says , "WHAT HIT ME, CMON, HIT ME AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS."... I'm sorry people but I can't take this.Oh, my bad, wrong forum. anyway I can move it?
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Anger/brother issues.
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I've moved it for you.It sounds like your brother has serious personality problems. He sounds like the sort of bully who can only feel good by bullying others to prove to himself he can do it. I don't know what you can do with people like that, unless you can get some large friends who can give him a warning.
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Thanks for moving it.Yea his personality is really in the dumps.I have no friends, but he is really popular and has tons.
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Without knowing you or your brother obviously, this can only be general advice.I have a sister who I always fight with, whenever she is home (she lives in another city for school), and so what i uses to do was try not to be home if I could. By that I mean that if the opportunity came up for me to stay after school(not in trouble), or i need to go to the shops or something, I would stay around so that i could limit the time i was around her. Also, if something was starting to annoy me, I would just take a walk, or ride around for half an hour and let both of us cool down.When it wasn't possible to not be there, I would just do the exact opposite that she was doing. For example, she was watching TV, I was on the computer. If I was using the family computer instead of my own, and she wanted to use it, I would get off and let her have it, and I would then go and watch TV. Basically you could say that I was living my life around her. This was fun for me because sometimes I wanted to watch a TV show and couldn't, but in general I could avoid most stuff. And as time went on, I upgrade my computer so it could watch TV, so it wasn't always that bad.As for you, because it's much more physical, it would be harder to avoid, as a general rule, when people are angry, they want to be alone. So if you sense that your brother is more aggravated then normal, then give him space. Try not to do things that would cause him to become angry, by thinking about it. If this has been happening for a while, all you need to do is think about what makes him go off and then try not to do. (yes simple to say, hard to do).It is always an idea to talk to people about this. Most schools have a councilor, but sometimes this can lead to things that might make it worst (as much as the councilor will try to make it better, people don't like to be told what to do). Once again because of your situation, I can't give specific advice, but parents? Sit down and talk to them (parents,grandparents are even better) and tell them what he does. But make sure you say to them that they shouldn't get angry at him because it's only going to make him come back later and do it to you again. (which it probably would) If you can get their help, you need to start curbing his behavior, with their help.Now as for you getting angry, and punching walls, an idea is to get a punching bag that both can use. Then every day, use it for half an hour, and let all the anger out then, in one big dose, instead of little ones though the day. A good idea on how to get one, is to go to your brother when he is an normal mood, and ask him if he would like to go half's in one. Finally,(this is really long) if you change your attitude and 90% of the time, you are calm, un-phased(don't care), and just go about your business, you might find yourself in less trouble, and feeling better. Make the change in your family, to be the person who does have the anger problem.
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Some options:Ignore him it will be tough, and he will try harder to get your attention. If you just walk away everytime though he will give up. I suspect this won't work however, given your proximity.Learn self defense, it may take some time, but eventually you'll grow too, and become more skilled. He won't stand a chance if he "calls you outside", and he'll know it too.Call the police. He's 19, you're 15. Explain it happens all the time, nothing might come out of it, but it'll scare the shit out of him, and force your parents to do something about it.I actually really, really recommend learning self defense, also getting into the gym for a bit of weight lifting. I have a temper too, but I find pushing my anger into lifting massive weights an excellent source of energy and power - and it calms you down. The martial art will also teach you self dicipline, which you will need later in life with that temper.
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Thanks for the replies. Avoiding him and doing the opposite of him is going fairly well. And i'm really trying to control my temper. Self defense uhh... I'm a black belt second degree Tae Kwon Do, 4th dan Kendo, and I boxed with my friends (before I moved.) But the thing is, he is like really twice my size and last thing I wan't to do is get in a fist fight with him (Because he is my brother). Calling the cops would really get the whole family angry at me though.
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While I agree, Helms, that attitude is important and it's much easier to stand up for yourself with a good attitude, I think it's over-optimistic to believe that someone with dignity and self-respect can deliver an asskicking to someone twice his size.And the brother may have a lot of dignity and self-respect too.I wish life were as you describe it, but that hasn't been my experience.
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Ah, sorry, it was my mistake in reading your second sentence. I read an "in" as an "as".I must pay better attention.I must pay better attention.I must pay better attention.I must pay better attention.I must pay better attention.I must pay better attention.I must pay better attention.I must pay better attention.I must pay better attention.I must pay better attention.