Relationship with A2A

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So... I dunno. I enjoy these forums because they are a good place to talk about issues which may be annoying in society and I generally do my best to relate to the people here and help out.However, right now I am really wondering if I shouldn't stop posting altogether.. While I am fairly "normal" right now. I tend to take dips in my mood..... Lately I am wondering if I amount to much more then an annoyance.I dunno. at one point in time I could keep my problems to myself and forget them. Simple as that.. However, Lately it seems that I bleed problems. I'm contemplating halting my use of the forums perhaps indefinitely because I don't want to be here every time I randomly find myself down again bothering the community.. It doesn't take much to get me down.. I can't say I feel down at the moment.. but, I just hate having the random onset.

I don't see you as "bothering the community" in any way. The question is whether it helps you or not.

Ur post kinda (some wut) reminds me of myself. I go threw “I’m leaving” thoughts .. Hell I have even begged Ineligible to ban me a couple times. All I get is talked into not going. I feel a lot that I’m not wanted here. I’ve heard (read) rumors that I’ve been called whining and annoying…. I guess I can be a tattle tail. Yea.. When I get pissed off about something I run to paul or pete. Paul tho don’t get but my side tho cuz he don’t come here no more.. but yea. Poor pete I know I annoy him. I told helms b4 I left that I’m sick of being scared so…… I do post more now than I used too. I’m here to “try” to help and express my opinion (liked or not). I’m trying to develop a new way of thinking to help me not be so scared of lash outs and flamers. I tell myself so wut if some one thinks I’m a whining annoying pissaunt. I’m here to try to help to the best of my abilities and if some one don’t like me or wut I have to say then they can just not like it. It kinda helps me not be so pussy chicken. … I’m so sick of being a pussy chicken!!!! I think I’ve gotten better about going back and deleting wut I had posted now too. I don’t usually come here asking help for my problems. I mean I have but it’s kinda rare. I… I dk.. I don’t think my problems can really be helped. I dk. Sometimes I read things I shouldn’t hoping that it isn’t wut it turned out to be. Like an example would be like a topic that says my ankle. Well I read it hoping it says /asks about how whoever had twisted it a while back and it’s stil not right and wut could help it.. Or something but then it’s not about that at all.. It might be saying more of like. I got a ankle tattoo……. Or something. < well that’s a bad example cuz it isn’t bad but urggg I can’t explain it! Humm.. it’s wired that I’m actually afraid to ask something’s on a place called afraid to ask. lol I know I’m not normal. I mean .. I dk. There have been posts I have read and wanted to say something but I know not too.  Quote: I'm contemplating halting my use of the forums perhaps indefinitely because I don't want to be here every time I randomly find myself down again bothering the community.. It doesn't take much to get me down.. I kinda thought this is why A2A was here…… I mean something pete tells me all the time is if he didn’t want to be bothered then he wouldn’t be here. It’s the purpose of this forum…..to help. If someone is bothered than no one is making them stay around. That’s the way I see it.

You're not bothering anyone (at least not me), I actually enjoy your posts! That’s what this place is here for hon, we're hear to listen and help those who need it (and vice versa).

Quote:Poor pete I know I annoy him.You do not, ever.And neither do you, Nny.

Don't worry, you're not annoying. Me, on the other hand...> Hell I have even begged Ineligible to ban me a couple times. All I get is talked into not goingI'm so fucked up that he actually doe sbban me (which is what I want anyway)

Being banned has nothing to do with being fucked up. I've been banned because of my apparent behaviour, but I've also been banned by choice. A Mod/Admin will ban you by request if they feel that the time away may actually benefit you, but they will always welcome you back.

You're right, being banned has nothing to do with being fucked up.> if they feel that the time away may actually benefit youIn other words "You're fucked up, you need some time away, I will ban you upon your request for a while"That's what I was more talking about.

Well thank you all for your kindness. However, I really do hate the fact that I am kinda unstable.Maybe I'm just noticing the instability or maybe its getting worse as I get older..however, today I noticed yet again no matter how much I tell myself I'm going to change perspective.. No matter how much I think its as easy as just saying "its gunna be a good day" it really doesn't take much to bring me down.. Its kinda wierd.. because with my last girlfriend she pointed both of these issues out.."you build yourself up for things only to get dissappointed".. and "you have to try to have a better outlook on things" I thought it was kinda ironic.. I mean... today I was doing pretty well.. but, then randomly at work a girl said "bag faster" in a somewhat snide tone.. and that was all it took for my mood to dissolve.. I cheered back up after I saw a guys shirt that said "willy nagin and the chocolate city". I mean these aren't drastic changes.. but, it seems enough to remind me that its only a matter of time before I find myself back here.... wondering why I have a nagging feeling or inability to stop thinking about some other mundane occurence.I think what bothered me most is today a girl asked "so you put in your two weeks notice?" and I for some reason felt a burning inside of me that just said "apparently they are all just waiting for you to leave". I can't quite place why but, it feels like most of them there talk about me behind my back.. I sometimes wonder if the work I do is ever up to par or if the boss is just tolerating me.. (constant feeling).Its rare that I can really make a friend who I will believe them.... unless I'm good friends with someone... or just get a certain feeling then.. I just sorta.. feel like they are going to end up trashin me behind my back.*edit. And here I go yet again with every mundane idiotic and ultimately pointless occurence that comes to mind.. wasting bandwidth..

Quote:I can't quite place why but, it feels like most of them there talk about me behind my back.. I sometimes wonder if the work I do is ever up to par or if the boss is just tolerating me.. (constant feeling).I've known that feeling, too. You pass by a group of girls giggling, and you believe they are giggling about you.And yet, if you test these things out, you discover they weren't thinking about you at all. People think and talk about you much less than you believe, and much more positively than you believe. The feelings are all your own perception, and quite wrong ones. Quote:And here I go yet again with every mundane idiotic and ultimately pointless occurence that comes to mind.. wasting bandwidth..Neither idiotic nor pointless, and no waste of bandwidth at all.

"People think and talk about you much less than you believe, and much more positively than you believe. The feelings are all your own perception, and quite wrong ones."How true. People are generally much less concerned with us than we would like to think they are. More often than not most us toil through life with only a handful of people taking note of that which we have tried so hard to cultivate in ourselves.To the OP and CR I've never noticed either of you being annoying or whinny and beyond that I don't care if you were. It's not like I have to spend my life with you and anytime I get tired of hearing anything on this forum, I simply don't have to look at it. This forum is here for help and support, so if that's what you need use it. When we're depressed or having problems cooping, that is exactly what we need. So post and don't give a fuck what anybody else may think about it. If all someone, or a small group of people, can do is criticize you for it than they aren't worth the thought and worry your putting into them anyway, so all the more reason not to give a fuck what the say.

Hehe, I know I was annoying and I definitely knew some here didn't like me. But that's life. The bottom line is that we all like you being around.

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Hehe, I know I was annoying...

"Was annoying"?? :grin:

Hey, you watch it or I'm gonna put you on my list.

You have a list? Is it a list of sexy Irish guys, cause if it is then I demand to be on it!