My boyfriend's sex drive.

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Ok...so here's the deal. A few days ago my boyfriend laid a bomb on me. We have been dating almost a year and during that year we have been intimate about 6 times. Now, we have never been all the way with each other (like one penetrating the other). It's always just oral and hands. He is 25 and I am 24, supposedly in our prime, right? So he tells me that he has never had and never expects to have a sex drive. He's not depressed, he is not on any medications, he does not use any drugs, and he doesn't smoke. He is one of the most health conscience people I know. So I start asking him the normal questions. Like "Is it mental? Are you depressed? Do you think sex causes problems in couples?" His answer to all of these were No. Apparently even when he was younger he rarely masturbated and and doesn't now either. It has nothing to do with me physically or him. When we are intimate he does get an erection, but he told me that even though he is hard it doesn't make him 'get in the mood'. He has to mentally make himself get in the mood and he only does it so I am happy. He could go forever and never even worry about sex or masturbation. I truly believe that there could be a chemical imbalance or low levels of testosterone. He claims he could be asexual but how can you not have a preference and claim to be gay? Please help me with this and give me opinions. I don't know how to react or what to do. If it is a physical problem then I think he should get it taken care of, not for me, but for the damage it could possible do to his system. Thanks to anyone who responds to this.

I really think he should too but he also stated that it is something he doesn't want to fix. He likes sex not distracting him from his routines. I'm afraid that if I push him into getting tested he will think I want to change him. I'm just to the point that I don't know what to do. :o(

You need to go and have a heart-to-heart talk with him. The both of you need to lay down on how you both feel about this and try to find some common ground.

I agree!

There IS middle ground when it comes to sex, just like everything else in a relationship.

I don't have the most attractive guy according to the "norm" but he is the sexiest thing on earth to me, and it would bother me if he "wasn't in to it".

There are times when he isn't up to it, but I deal, because there are times I am not either. BUT we have the middle ground, and if we had issues with sex, I think it would kill our relationship in the end.

Yup, it's either the bedroom, the money, or the kids.I have to admit though, if it weren't ALL there, I would get bored, and discouraged quickly.Toy, face, and dick are a must for me....

Wow. I sorta envy him xD. If only we could control our drives.. that would be a great thing. It would be nice if you could have none at some points in your life and then have all of it in the world at others when you wanted it.Since thats not the case... you should really talk to him as said before.Try something different.. toys were suggested.. mayb role playing? Maybe he has some sorta really kinky fetish or something?Actually the term fetish is thrown around these days but, in its original context fetish is "nessicery to achieve climax" in sex.. I dunno. Maybe one day just tie him up and see how he likes it?

Thank you all for you suggestions. Just as an update I will tell you that we did have a very long heart to heart discussion and he has agreed to have himself checked out, just in case it is something he can do to change it. Also he agreed to let me get my sexual kicks every now and then and he will just grin and bare it. He's still not into it and doesn't think he will be, but I think that we came up with a pretty good compromise. We are doing well and have almost hit our year mark! yay!

Yay! Discussion and compromise will take you far.