Not sure what to do about my husband?

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Hi,My Husband and i got married on the 2cnd of January 2007 , so that is just over a year ago. He is 27 and i am 24, and we have been dating for 6 years since my first year of univesity.My husband keeps bringing up the topic of trying for a child and i am really keen to pursue the topic,however every time i try to talk to him about me stopping birth control he goes quiet on me, we have been talking about this for around 3 months but so far no progress at all.Today we had his niece and nephew over for the day, his neice is 5 and his nephew is 18 months , he is so amazing with them both and while his niece was watching a movie he came over and kissed me with his hands on my stomach saying "wouldn't it be great to have some of our own" i smiled and we exchanged more kisses and spoke a little, about us trying for kids but once again i brought up me coming off Birth Control (The Pill) and he decided "i better go check on Cassie (his neice)" and he rushed out of the kitchen.I don't have a clue what is going on he brings up the subject and yet avoids me coming off birth control , i dont know whether he is expecting me to do this myself but this would seem a little odd wouldn't it ? One last thing , i doubt this indecisive behavior was bought on by his family as both his mother and father and even his sister keep asking us when the family is growing and all of them are very very supportive, and would help a lot in the incidence that we did chose to have children.

Talk is just talk... going off BC makes it real. Maybe he's just scared of it becoming a reality and the major responsibility that goes along with it. You'll have to ask him what's going on.

From what you wrote it sounds like the idea he loves but when it becomes reality it scares the shit out of him. Which, I might add, it think it probably should any sane individual.About all you can do to get him past his fears is talk to him about it. Maybe one way is talk about going off the pill a few months down the road rather than right away. That might assuage his fears enough that you can open a dialogue up and talk to him about how having a kid makes him feel and how it makes you feel and so on. The more communication you have the more open and less paralyzed with fear he might be when the time comes to mount and go to humpin' for reason god intended. Don't know if it'll work it's just thought.

It sounds like you two don't communicate enough. If you sense that he is quiet about the subject, why don't you just ask him for some feedback?If you don't communicate, you might as well kiss the relationsahip goodbye.

make sure you don't pressure him, one year isn't all that long in a marriage, maybe he wants to hold off a little longer?

ok first off, he's just having his manly instincts, i know myself, cause of my childhood, i sincerely want a child and i cant wait to the day that i can make my child... im actually waiting for my girlfriend to be ready (were planning it around 20) but just do this, one day, after he cums inside you, wait a few days then tell him that you took the innitiative and got off of birth control... and that you've been having morning sickness, and other symptoms of a pregnancy,note his reactions, and see what he says...after a couple of minutes, or if he gets angry with you and begins to raise his voice or something, tell him that, that was a lie, and that you just wanted to see what he would do if the situation you guys have been talking about was an actual reality...if hes estatic about it, and is happy, tell him that you werent telling the truth, but that after seeing that he wasnt going to be a messed up father, that your going to get off of birth control...when it comes to pregnancy its never a 100% thing, i've had sex with my girlfriend hundred of times unprotected, ive precame inside her, never actually CAME inside her, but still according to statistics, she should of already been pregnant, but it has alot to do with chance, the women, and the man...so you can always reassure him, and tell him, like, look hunny, i might not get pregnant the first time, but we should just let nature take its course, if our child is really supposed to happen, i will get pregnant at the right time, if not, then im shure my body will fight it, and it might take a couple of trys... but i know we are both ready for this baby...i hope that you following this advice, or parts of it, helps you out...if you have a boy, can u name it after me come on now, you know you want too!!!

Holy shit... Quote:but just do this, one day, after he cums inside you, wait a few days then tell him that you took the innitiative and got off of birth control... and that you've been having morning sickness, and other symptoms of a pregnancy,NEVER LIE! This is a real marriage, not a game. Pregnancy is a serious issue and lying can garantee a serious problem.  Quote:when it comes to pregnancy its never a 100% thing, i've had sex with my girlfriend hundred of times unprotected, ive precame inside her, never actually CAME inside her, but still according to statistics, she should of already been pregnant, but it has alot to do with chance, the women, and the man...Wow, a 16-year-old kid with no GED or diploma trying to get a girl pregnant. You sure are smart!GrownPastMyYears, I can't believe the shit you just said.

Originally Posted By: Virtual_StarHoly shit... Quote:but just do this, one day, after he cums inside you, wait a few days then tell him that you took the innitiative and got off of birth control... and that you've been having morning sickness, and other symptoms of a pregnancy,NEVER LIE! This is a real marriage, not a game. Pregnancy is a serious issue and lying can garantee a serious problem.  Quote:when it comes to pregnancy its never a 100% thing, i've had sex with my girlfriend hundred of times unprotected, ive precame inside her, never actually CAME inside her, but still according to statistics, she should of already been pregnant, but it has alot to do with chance, the women, and the man...Wow, a 16-year-old kid with no GED or diploma trying to get a girl pregnant. You sure are smart!GrownPastMyYears, I can't believe the shit you just said. uhhh maybe you should study up on my past before you assume the worse... i want a child that im going to be able to raise and make shure none of the bad shit that happened to me, happens to him/her, secondly, honesty IS the best thing in the relationship... in ANY relationship...he's not being completely honest with her, and honestly, if he needs a push so be it... put his ass in check... cause you dont want to wait around till your 54 and on birth control, only to find out you hit metapause to realize that he has just been scared to commit this whole time...seriously speaking, do you think hes going to divorce you, cause you lied to him about 1 thing? and then told him the truth 5 minutes later? i highly dought that...

Quote:uhhh maybe you should study up on my past before you assume the worse... i want a child that im going to be able to raise and make shure none of the bad shit that happened to me, happens to him/her, secondly, honesty IS the best thing in the relationship... in ANY relationship...That made no sense. If you want a kid, don't you think finishing school first would be a good idea?And if YOU believe honesty is best, then what the hell made you come up with that mind game of yours? Perhaps he won't divorce her, but lying NEVER works, even if it's for a minute. Playing mind games, NEVER does anything.Like I said this a real marriage, which means they need to talk. When you grow up, you'll understand.

i am finishing school first! a ged is equivalent to a high school diploma... jesus... im not bringing a child into this world until i can properly take care of it... and she isnt lying persay, she's just giving him an emotional boost, and anyways, if he does get angry about her "lieing" to him, she can just say, well you just needed a bit of a push, and anyways, shes going to do what shes going to do, all we are here for is to give her advice, you shouldnt critique other peoples suggestions...

but just do this, one day, after he cums inside you, wait a few days then tell him that you took the innitiative and got off of birth control... and that you've been having morning sickness, and other symptoms of a pregnancy,note his reactions, and see what he says...after a couple of minutes, or if he gets angry with you and begins to raise his voice or something, tell him that, that was a lie, and that you just wanted to see what he would do if the situation you guys have been talking about was an actual reality...if hes estatic about it, and is happy, tell him that you werent telling the truth, but that after seeing that he wasnt going to be a messed up father, that your going to get off of birth control... Sorry but that's kind of dumb.

well its just what i think she should do, or something similar... she doesnt have to... im not holdin my gun to her head or nutin...

Stupid advice, no offence but that hardly helps at all, if any.

If the advice is poor, we'll be sure to let the OP know. And we are.

So i decided today to go meet my Husband for lunch and really back him to a corner using a lot of the advice i was given , i am not to sure whether now i wanted to hear what he had to say or whether i am releived or incredibly excited !So i bought up the conversation at lunch and when i received the same cold shoulder however this time i just looked down and barely spoke until he realise that he had something or nothing in this case to upset me,i really didnt mean to i was just really hoping to atleast discuss. Finally he figured out something was wrong he worked back to the topic and then claimed that it was nothing between the two of us was not the problem what he is worried about is my parents. Now i knew they were going to prove some hassle , they don't get along to well, aren't very keen on him in particular my father who has made if very clear that "i could do better" (like most parents) and my father was not very happy when the two of us got married, and would not give his blessing till very near the day itself.I really didn't know this was going to be such a big deal as he knows that i don't want , need or look for my parents approval anymore .... with this update does anyone else have any ideas of what i can do to reassure him some more.After alot of deliberation we decided that coming off the pill is what we both want although i would really like some ways to reassure him?

I'm glad you two finally talked about it! I'm sure it feels like tons fo weight off you shoulders.As for reassuring him... just reassure him that you love him and that a child with him is what you want more than anything, regardless what your family thinks. Though family is important, that matter is between you and your husband and no one else. As long as you two are ready and want this, than that's all that matters.I hope it all works out for you!

To be honest i hadn't really understood that my family was such a huge impact on him and i guess this is my fault as i mean you can tell someone 100 or 1000 times that someone doesn't matter in the decisions you make but obviously my father and mother are playing there games as usual.I just really hope that they take the news well , if we ever do have a baby etc etc, i somehow doubt it ,i can understand to some extent what he is saying because every parent is out to protect there daughter and being an only child i am sure doesnt help!!He (My father) keeps telling me i am to young and that i will regret this for the rest of my life and that im making a mistake, we have been together for 6 years since my first year of Uni and have been best friends for almost the whole time we have known one another he really has been there for me through a lot, i just wish my parents would accept that we are happy , i am pretty sure we are set and im very sure he is not going to do a runner !Ok i think its time i went to bed , im being dragged away so i better not resist.Just an after thought before i am carried away to the bedroom , can you imagine my parents face when i tell them that i am pregnant ! it will be a mix of "grand kids" with utter shock and the greater shock is going to be "my daughter isnt a virgin !!!"

Quote:the greater shock is going to be "my daughter isnt a virgin !!! Well lets hope they already know that considering you are married lol. might not be something they think about but subconsciously I'm sure they are aware and will be the last thing they think about when you tell then you are pregnant.You'd be surprised, a lot of parents are so excited about being grandparents. My parents didn't and still don't care for my brother-in-law (For good reason, but we won't get into that lol) but they were SOOO excited when she was pregnant and even more so after the kids were born.

I posted here 3 weeks ago and came off birth control, i still hadn't had my period while on BC or after i came off so i decided to go visit my GP yesterday due to not only this but also some breast pains and nausea , turns out i am pregnant , i had to tell someone before i popped with excitement.

I asked my husband for a nice night in however he has had to work late so that was destroyed. So you lot are the first to know.

YAY!!! Congrats!! big hugs