My girlfriend still has feelings for her ex

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I've been dating a girl for 2 months now and we're really close. Her last relationship was 4 months and he dumped her. Now they're friends at school but her friend just told me she still has feelings for him, even though she won't act on them. Should I confront her about it or what? I have no idea what to do.

If she's not acting on them she's probably restraining herself. Feelings can't be helped but actions can. If she's not doing anything to go towards him then there is no need to confront her because she all ready knows it would be wrong and she should stick with you because you ARE her boyfriend.

you should be careful.from what i hear, these situations tend to evolve to:-your girlfriend goes to a party.-her ex is also there.-they get drunk.-your girlfriend ends up doing something she shouldn't.-she then blames her mistake on the alcohol.i've heard this too many times.i think you should be 'prepared'.her feelings for him should actually cease to exist once she gets a new boyfriend, you.when feelings get carried on to the next relationship, you gotta watch out.

This JUST happened to me. I started dating this girl, she still had feelings for her ex. Long story short - I broke up with her yesterday because she was too "confused" about what to do. Even if she doesn't act on them, they can ruin your relationship.

Hm... but as long as she tries herself to stay out of the guy's life and if she realizes that she shouldn't do anything and CAN'T do anything and has a strong will, then the relationship should be fine. However, these are quite the amount of assumptions.Just be sure what kind of person your girlfriend is like. Many people may have been in these situations, but the girls are all different, and what they would do under certain circumstances and how easy they are at willing to do certain things change the outcome.

Originally Posted By: katonsuiitonHm... but as long as she tries herself to stay out of the guy's life and if she realizes that she shouldn't do anything and CAN'T do anything and has a strong will, then the relationship should be fine. However, these are quite the amount of assumptions.But it's clearly not fair for him to be with someone who isn't giving him her full time and attention.

Right, but what if she's putting up an effort to give that all to him? I mean, if it becomes really strong to the point where she wants to still be with him and is willing to start up a relationship with him again, then I beleive it becomes rather dangerous and worth breaking up for. But, after all, they are exes, so there had to be something wrong, which should make her feel not too ready so quickly to get back together with him.

I guess all it is dependant on is how she feels and what she's doing about it.

But there may be some who can't wait for their partner to "get over" their ex. I dunno, it always does depend by each person and how they feel.I believe that it helps someone who's "confused" by breaking up with them so they can have all the time they need to clear their head and be fully ready for the next relationship.

The problem (in some cases but not all) is that women are creatures based on emotion. As long as the ex is still in her life and has some emotional attachment to her, things will be very push-pull with her heart. THAT is not fair for either party; only beneficial to the ex as this means he can come back into her life with three little words and destroy her world. You're absolutely right though, all women are different but all share the same thinking mode of emotions. If any triggers are set off by the ex things will become very hard.

Dude that's kinda sexist. Here's why, that's generealizing women. What you are basically saying is that all girls are the same in the way that they all cheat. And that, my friend, is a wrong process of thinking. :fearful:

What the french toast? 1) He's not generalizing no one. That's exactly why he said "in some cases but not all".2) He said nothing that relates to cheating.

Originally Posted By: Virtual_StarWhat the french toast? 1) He's not generalizing no one. That's exactly why he said "in some cases but not all".2) He said nothing that relates to cheating. Oh man I must have misread! sorry blackmanoncampus.

Lol it's all good. "what the french toast" lol that made me laugh, thanks

I actually used to have feelings for my ex while going out with my boyfriend, in the beginning. But now that I spend so much time with him and I realize he can be my best friend and brotherly and at the same time my bf he definately helped me forget about the pain of that past. Before he realized how bad I was, he had some very "interesting" tactics of helping me get over it lol. We have lots of fun, all the time and he supports me all the time. So, I guess I would suggest you help her to have fun and how great you are and just help her out.

Originally Posted By: DaCubs75 but her friend just told me I wouldn't base any acions on hear-say unless you know this is a fact. Then simply ask her if it's true. If so, suggest a sabbatical until she gets over her feelings.

Well, her friend told me and then I read a note where my g/f told me that she still had feelings for him. But really that doesn't matter now. She's over him but today she told me that she wants a "break" but that everything will be back to normal after she clears her head. I've never felt this bad about a breakup, even if she says it's "temporary". Idk, I wanna believe everything will be better but I know it won't be. This pain just sucks, ya know?

I know how it is, man. Just keep negative thoughts at bay because when all's said and done, whatever happens will be the best for the two of you.

Well, My fellow board members.So I guess it's gone from a "break" to "over". Last night she kissed a kid and now they're dating. He's a punk, a really bad kid. She told me today that it was only a "physical" attraction. Her friends are mad at her for it. I honestly think that she's confused. She comes from a broken home with an abusive mom and she has low self-esteem. I'm a nice, honest kid. I'm the kinda guy you wanna bring home to momma lol. Her friend thinks that she's worried that I was too good for her so she thinks she has to go to a guy that isn't any good for her because of her self esteem. Hopefully you guys can understand all this. What do you guys think. To be honest, you all on this board have really helped me. You made me realize that there's people who have your back, even if you don't know them.

I read what you posted before you edited it out. What you said earlier makes a HUGE difference.But I guess that doesn't really matter anymore now. Best to move forward and not look back. Just take this experience with you and I hope things work out for you.I personally wouldn't hold out hope for her. She doesn't sound stable enough (at least at the moment) to be with anyone.

I honestly don't know how to move forward. Everything reminds me of her. I guess feeling depressed, drinking, and playing bass in my room all day isn't helping. It just sucks.