My 11th grade year was tough. But, what made it hard for me was the serious depression I began to experience during that time.
-
11th grade
-
nah. here where i live is by levels. level one is grade 10 and so on grade kindergarten to 9 is just...kindergarten to 9 lol. but afterwards its by levels. why i have no idea.
-
oh..ok. (so 12th is level 3? )
-
I thought of grade 6 to 8 as being the hardest only because people became obsessed with cliques. The school work aspect never really challenged me, so I personally can't say which grade was hardest looking at it that way. I liked 11th grade because people were really loosening up with the clique nonsense.
-
Quote:I liked 11th grade because people were really loosening up with the clique nonsense. That's the part that really annoyed me!! grumbles
-
nope they werent easy.. It was just a good year
-
Ditto. :frowning:
-
Oh OK. Confused me, since the topic was about classes.
-
yup
-
oh I could care less about clique. they know not to mess with me LOL jk. I'm a little slow when it comes to the "clique" ordeal. Do I belong to one? I just hang out with my best friends. We all like soccer... is it a soccer clique? lol
-
Quote:
is it a soccer clique?
a clique is a group of people....so yea. i'd say it is. so yea ur group of friends is a clique. lol but not all cligues are mean /bad..lol -
Well... whenever I refer to cliques I'm talking about the groups of people that seemed to fit or try to fit into a label. Jocks, goths, punks, skaters, preps, dorks, nerds, etc. The group of people I hung out with in high school was more like the breakfast club. One or two people from each group would hang out.In school, I basically thought of people as 1 of 2 things. They were either individuals or sheep. The individuals were the people that were pretty much themselves. Perhaps they fit into a stereotypical clique, but not because they were trying. The sheep were the people that were busy trying to be something. In doing so, generally they just follow the crowd. I knew a girl in high school that started off trying to be a prep, then redneck, and right after high school she went punk.
-
Quote:I knew a girl in high school that started off trying to be a prep, then redneck, and right after high school she went punk. It’s called.. Teens trying to find themselves. (or something like that) I did it. I dressed like a little prep. When I was 15.…wow probly up till last year. I went threw stages of wearing black even coloring my hair dark sometimes.. When I wasn’t wearing black I looked like a beach bum lol (still do LMAO) I Even let my hair go natural (witch is like a dark blond/light brown kind of color.. ) I decided it looks too dirty natural so I keep it highlighted now. I’ll admit it now.. I dress way better now than wut I used too. Lmao With me it wasn’t about trying to fit in.. it was about trying to scare people off.. I dk why but I had in my head if I didn’t have blond hair girls wouldn’t pay me any attention….. If I dressed like death (as my mom put it) then no one would want to mess with me. It Didn’t work…. I wanted so bad for some one to not look and stair at me I busted some glass and was going to gash up my face. Luckily for me Ryan came in and stopped me. Oh yea.. That would been a huge mistake (or would it?) I dk my point… I guess I just had to figure it out on my own. I told some one the other night that I’m the last person a person would think that lives on a farm with 40 plus head of horses. Lol But u can pick me out of a crowd and know that I either ride MX , surf or skate…. I don’t skate anymore…and I don’t surf (I skim…well I did when we lived on the coast) but then I have a prep side too but only on the first days of classes, dances, church, dates… place that u just need to look more nicer and neater at. Actually the less cloths the better…. Unless it’s mandatory (going to a store or something) I am in nothing but board shorts. ..in the winter time it’s PJ bottoms. Lol I’ll tell u though ridding in PJ bottoms is really commutable lmao.. Shannon gets a good laugh out of me riding horses with her with my PJ bottomstucked into boots… lol but their cooler than jeans! Something else that is way commutable and cool to wear in this hell heat is mesh athletic shorts (but not the ichy kind lol) but I’ll never wear those in public.. I think I need to stop rambling…. YeaI guess wut all my rambling is saying is I wear now wut I wore when I was a kid and I went threw some stages …but I came back to wut I always wore. I think a lot of teens will do that. My brother.. When he was in high school wore those big legged jeans, and his hair was longer than pete’s hair. But now he keeps his hair really short and dresses ….I dk. Jeans and a tees shirt. Hahaha but he went threw that big legged jeans stage…..lol man I could fit in his pants legs they were huge! loli agree with the either individuals or sheep thing. i think of myself as individual. damb it i'm going to rid emy horse in board shorts or PJ bottoms! don't care who laughes. but my gf..... sad but she's kinda of a sheep....she wears wut ever girl her age is wearing. and yea those damb tiny skirts she wears bugs me. oh hell yea i like the way they look on her but i know every other guy does too and know he tryes his fucking hardist to see wuts she's got under her skirt. Tho it has made me feel a little better when i found out she wear.. well hel i dk wut there called i call them her little, girl boxerbriefs. lol fuck i'm rambling agian! urgg I was being home schooled when I was in 11th…… my last year (12th….still being home schooled) I was scared to death of the the thought of having to go back to a school (college) I actually debated with myself to fail on purpose cuz I was that scared of going to college….and it wasn’t really college. it was just going to the college and all the people and knowing I’m stupid. My 1st semester I dropped out (health issues) but after I got threw my first full semester…… I relies now it’s not so bad. Well if I didn’t; have to take fucking math it wouldn’t be bad at all. lmao
-
>>>"I wanted so bad for some one to not look and stair at me I busted some glass and was going to gash up my face. ... Oh yea.. That would been a huge mistake (or would it?)"
It would have, it doesn't work that way. I always hated people looking at me or talking to me, basically I just never had any use for 'em. Then after some stuff when I was 19 I really hated having people look at me acknowledge me or talk to me. That feeling was really intense until I was about 25 or 26. It's still there just not so much so. The irony was for a little of that time I stripped for money. Luckily I knew how to blend in. If you don't want people to notice you just make sure there is absolutely nothing remarkable about yourself in your dress or your character. Don't be to aloof but don't be gregarious by any means, just move through.
Now that does nothing to alleviate the angst of feeling like everyone is looking at you or talking about you but it does keep your social interactions down to a minimum. Life has taught me that people are generally far to concerned with themselves to care or take much of interest in what I may be. Moreover, people generally aren't worth the concern we give them, save the few who really do matter.
I've been a ghost for 14 years now and only touch the lives of those closest to me and even then I am somewhat aloof. You might take a little comfort that as life goes on it gets easier and easier to disappear in the crowd, at least that's been my experience.
-
Quote:If you don't want people to notice you just make sure there is absolutely nothing remarkable about yourself in your dress or your character. I don’t dress remarkable…… back in the early summer some girls tried there hardest to get me to go with them on a party boat (yea the gas station / McDonalds thing) and I was just in board shorts, flip flops and a sleeveless shirt… nothing remarkable at all and I can’t change my character. I’ve tried. I could have just left and ignored them but I felt that was too rude to do…. Wut if they needed help> u know. A few weekends ago me and Shannon were “back to school” shopping… I was in Hollister’s getting some brown cargo shorts and there was a person in looking at shirts. I didn’t know if he was a he or a she. He-she was heavy and had tits. Not like man boobs but tits but a dudes short hair cute. So .. He just had big manboobs or she was …..I dk a dyke? I mean if I hadn’t heard her voice and the tits I’d swear she was a he. But anyway…(se I feel bad now for just saying that about this person..) anyways… I was looking at some pants and a girl came to me and asked me if I needed some help and I told her that that person was in here first. Pointed to her (him.. The he-she) So I’m still hanging around waiting on Shannon to come in the store cuz she was at the door talking to someone and the girl goes up to the person and they talked for a second then she left.Shannon comes in and I go with her over to the girls part and she’s looking. I dk about how all Hollister’s are set up but ours is set up with two doors one goes into the guys and the other goes into the girls . But inside it makes like a loop so in the middle of the guys and girls it has a round couch and the check out place. So u have to walk around…. But while she was looking I went back and grabbed my shorts. The girl that was on the floor ask that asked me if I wanted help was talking to a guy by the register when i passed by, and the person was still waiting on some one to help her. (I guess she was a her) So I get my short and go back to Shannon but I felt bad for the person so I turned back and asked if some one had helped. She (she sounded like a she..) said no. she said all she wanted is a shirt but can’t reach them. ( YAAY! To be tall I love it!!) And the lady was supposed to have sent a guy to get it down. So I asked wut size and she was like a xl so I grab a hand full of shirts and get them down and I looked threw them and there all medium. So then I reach up and grab the last one and wow it was actually a xl. I was happy fore the…(girl>?) so I handed it to her and hang the other shirts on a bottom shelf. The girl was like thanks and then asked me if I was going to check her out. I dk wut my face did but I was like I don’t work here. And that person’s face was like amazed. So I go around to Shannon and then she’s giggling and was like where are ur shorts? So I had to go back cuz I left them sitting on a rack were I put them down at. And so when we walk past the check out lounge area the person was waiting on someone to check out. I get my shorts and we go back and Shannon sees something and was looking at it an then finally we go to check out and the person is just now paying for the shirt. The person checking her was the girl that asked me if I needed help. When we walked up the girl gave me the worst go to hell look ever! lol she kinda scared me she looked so pissed. So yea we pay and left. We’re walking down the mall and pass that same person with a group of people and heard her say that’s the guy. I’m thinking is she talking about me??? Well we go on and Shannon drags me in every freaking store she can and I’m freaking hungry…finally we go to the food court and get in line and the weirdest thing! The person from Hollister’s that couldn’t get any help was in front of us. Shannon tapped her and said hey…they talked a little and the girl told us she had complained to the manger. I guess I got the girl that worked there in trouble. I actually felt bad about it till Shannon drilled it in my head that it was her fault for not doing her job. 0o.. yea i know that is alot of rambling... sorryi just ....i dk. the workers in the store were rud to her and i felt bad for her so i had to do somthign about it...i just don't know why i wasn't shy to her( i think she was a her).
-
Maybe you didn't feel like she wanted anything of you and so you didn't feel "threatened" by her. I'm that way in RL, I seldom ever speak to another living soul except for the retarded kids that walk around in back of my office. I love talkin' to them, helpin' 'em out, whatever. They make my day and I have no problems talking to them, interacting with them or anything. I can only guess its cause they don't want anything or expect anything from me... I have the same relationship with dogs.Whatever, listen to Shannon, you did the right thing and probably made somebody feel maybe a smidge better about themselves in the process. Your one of the few good guys.I'm a bit more vindictive than you, at least of late, when the clerk gave me a go to hell look and I found out why, I would have headed straight to the manager and done whatever I could to get her ass fired... For some reason, I've developed a very low tolerance for shit in the past couple of months. ...I didn't used to be like that and what I have become isn't necessarily a good thing. ...I don't think.
-
Quote:
Moreover, people generally aren't worth the concern we give them, save the few who really do matter.
I have to disagree with that. Even people who just come into our lives briefly and never occupy a forward position in it, even people with whom we have little in common, are worth our concern, in my opinion. Even small things make a difference. There have been people who have been kind to me that I have met only the once, but whose kindness made a big difference to me. -
I should have been clearer. I mean concern as in what they think, or are thinking, judging, inferring, etc., about us.
-
Ah! I probably should have realised it.
-
actually she asked if it was as hard as people say.. and i said it was easy