On a slightly different note.

---

Erm. My grandfather is about to die. It really is about time for him to. I love him to death but, he really needs to quit hanging on and just let go.He has survived 3 years being told numerous times "oh because of this you only have a month or two left"... Something else would happen and he got told the same thing. Recently he fell and broke his hip.And well now he really is close to the end. I just have to ask.. I find it wierd... Inexplicable.. but, why is it people want someone there at the end? Why is it we at the end of our lives cling so dearly to the life we were freely given and never asked for? I guess I just can't help but, find it wierd that we want someone there with us in our final hours..Why do we find it such a sad fate to die alone? I mean in some ways its sadder to die alone then to die before your time.. I am just really musing over this poetically. But, I can't help but, wonder if anyone else has ever thought about this.

I think that in those final hours all you want to do is be surrounded by the people you have held most dearly in your life.

But, I can't help but, wonder if anyone else has ever thought about this.Are you kidding me? I think about shit like this every day> why is it people want someone there at the end?Because they don't want to be alone when it comes to the end. Death is something scary for a lot of people and there is a great fear of the unknown (which Death definetely is) in many people, so they are afraid of it.Either that, or they just want to know that they had someone in life, that they might've made a difference. Just think about how it would suck if you were about to die and you realize you didn't change a single thing in the world, you never left a mark anywhere, you will be forgotten by next year. That's scary as well, people would like to knwo that they made a difference somewhere to someone.> Why do we find it such a sad fate to die alone?See my above paragraph for that one. They want to be sure they did something that might be remembered. Why do you think so many people want to be famous?

Well for most people, death is a scary thing. It stems from the fact that we honestly have no idea what happens to us when we die. Its like walking into a big dark scary room, we'd all prefer it if there was someone there with us instead of doing it alone.The sad part of dying alone is that you have a person, probably late in their lives, who has achieved things. Its very hard for someone to live their life for 80 years and not influence anybody else. These people may have families, entire generations that wouldn't exist if it wasn't for them. This family all owe their lives to this person, many of them would regret not being able to say thank you when it really matters.

Interesting replies. My thoughts are usually more on the cause and effect of life.

Of course this is pretty sad now that I think about it. the way my grand mother treats my grand father.

When she went to the hospital recently he cried his eyes out worrying about her. However, when he went recently she wouldn't even go up there to visit him. Oh well. I hope he can have some peace.

I'd think that if someone close to me were dying, I'd want to be there because I would want to be around if they wanted to say anything before they died, so that they could tell me. Also, it's one last opportunity to be with them before the option is gone. It's also nice for the person dying sometimes, too, to feel like they're spending time with the ones they love one last time before the chance is gone. I'd also like to think watching the person silently die brings some closure for the family at times.

well i think people would want their loved ones to be there in the final hours to know that they care in some way and dont want to die alone because if they did then i would have thoughts of i was a burden and nobody cares and i dont think anyone would want that when they died.And alot of people think about it in situations of death/dying are arisen.

Hospitals expect that people will want to be there when loved ones die, and they try to contact you when it seems near.Nowadays death is often a very slow process and by the end the person is lying there unresponsive and there are no last words from the dying person. Even the last breath is only known when no more follow.

Well as lovely as that is.His last breath was at about 3:30 A.M. this morning.

Hugs Nny

Meh Don't worry about me.. I'm fine.. I can't really pretend anyone is taking it that hard around here...

Originally Posted By: IneligibleEven the last breath is only known when no more follow. Thats not quite true, my family were in the room when my granddad died and we didn't know he had passed because his body was still wheezing and expelling air. When it finally stopped we called the doctor in and he informed us that he had actually died 5 minutes before.Sorry for the loss Nny, I know the feeling of not exactly being heartbroken when someone passes. None of the deaths in my family have ever really effected me.

Oh no.. I can't say it hasn't had any effect.. Its just.. well I'm not close to any of my family.I was very close to my great grand parents (i just call em grand parents.. but, really they are my grandfathers father and mother.)I have always been closer to them then anyone else in the family.. I view my parents as a source of money. Its just in my mind.. I've known it was coming for a long time. I love the man with all my heart. He was a great man. But, he had a stroke 3 years ago.. from there we knew it was downhill. We were surprised he made it this long thou.Problem after problem for the last 3 years we kept being told "he only has a month or two left." From stroke to anurism, to no blood flowing to his legs... It was when he finally broke his hip that we knew it was really getting close.I don't want to miss classes for the next 2 days but, I have an obligation as a paul bearer.

It doesn't alarm me that your grandfather's death isn't this huge emotional thing for you. Sometimes it just is what it is. Nonetheless, I wish you and your family well over the next few days. I've had plenty of death in my family and I've had your experience of not "feeling" that deeply about a person's death. However, there have been times when the difficult thing was seeing the hurt people I love are experiencing. When my baby brother was in high school, he best friend had an aneurism and died right in front of little brother's eyes. I didn't know the kid that well, so there was no emotional stuff over the normal "that's sad" kind of stuff. But it was very difficult for me to watch my little brother going through that and being so devastated, and knowing I couldn't do a thing about it other than show up for him.All that is to say, even though these huge emotions may not come up over the death and loss itself, you may be surprised at the depth of feeling that comes up around seeing your parents and others go through this.

I must admit I didn't cry over it... But, there was a certain feeling of being in the room and realizing its all really happening.I just felt unable to coordinate my thoughts, actions and speech all at the same time on more then one occassion. It was as thou the body stopped me from saying and doing what I wanted to.I do thank you for you kind sentiments one and all though.

You have my most sincere sympathies for your loss.To the original question. It just seems natural to me that people would be around you. That you would want them around and that they would want to be around. Throughout life, for most of the big occasion, the ones closest to you are usually there, be it for birthdays, graduation, weddings, anniversaries, what have you. That being the case why wouldn't they be there for the two biggest birth and death.

I think that over the coming days you will probably find your thoughts and emotions over the ordeal becoming clearer.Hang in there friend.

I suppose right now. Its really wierd I guess no real time to dwell on it which is ultimately for the best.