Okay, just forget all your dumb thoughts about "kids don't have stress" for a second and consider my problem as one of your own.So yes, today was the first day of school for me today. I was excited, nontheless hopeful that I wouldn't be picked on as a freshman (I know it's stupid to care but I don't need morons lingering on my every step mocking me to make me feel uncomfortable and unwelcome. I'm technically a sophomore, but to them, it's a new face and a "fresh" person.) Now, this school is the Bronx High School of Science, the "second-top" school in the city, and they expect a lot out of me. I mean, before, in eighth grade, I was able to get by without even trying because their stuff was so easy. My first year of high school in my old high school was as well as easy. But yeah, back to the point. They expect me to be organized (no problem with that) prompt with my schedule, though it's hellish hard to make it into class in time, being there are four floors, and your locker could be on the first, you're coming from a class on the third, and you're going to a class on the fourth, all in four minutes. I plan to try very hard in this school but I think I need some time adjusting to the expectations. I mean, I know that from here on out, everything matters and affects my life. And I don't even know what I want to do for the rest of my life! Anyways, this is enough to cope with. It'd be great if this were my only problem, but it's not. The Bronx is a long commute. I don't handle mornings well - they're cold, even in the summer. Coldness is NOT kind to my stomach. In fact, I get stomachaches, really bad ones, forcing a trip to the bathroom. In fact, I GOT one today. The ride is an hour long, and I don't really have much solution for it except bring a cup of hot water to the train ride, which, by the way, is air-conditioned. My stomach problems have always caused hell for me, and my parents keep making up these solutions that I doubt will work that they think will according to old asian whatevers, but I don't just want to have an "old asian way" to rely on. I want a scientific, able-to-be-backed up way that I know is the best way to handle something!Now, MAYBE I could've adapted with my stomach problems and my commute and my expectations from school. But no, there's more. There's the things I want when I come home from school. I have to do my homework, which takes two hours (along with the hour train ride home). Then I would like to get to things I like for myself. I'd like to write for my book idea that I just ABSOLUTELY LOVE and REALLY REALLY WANT TO FINISH, Winter Manhattan. I can't because I'm stuck with homework. Then there's the thing about my weight. I want to gain weight. I've been too skinny for too long, and I want to gain weight, damnit! Summer was a good time to do that, and I gained 13 pounds, but the whole school schedule is messing with my meal schedule and I can't fit it all in like I used to because I have to wait until 4 to have a second meal (I can't eat breakfast because of my stomach) and I have to be in bed by 9 to wake up at 6. Aside from that, I wanted to exercise. I can't now, because I'm stuck with homework and other priorities. I also wanted to try and build my frienships. I can't because of work and wants for myself. I grew up as a kind of independent loner person without interaction with friends outside of school and I find myself wanting that now because I want to get around more and be available to the world more. There's also another, really, stupid, thing, but I find myself interested in forensics science, and I don't know where that interest will take me, but I'm trusting my interest with watching episodes of CSI on tv. I guess I could always miss it, but it's the only thing I'd watch. It's something I guess I can drop, but want to find a way to not drop.With all these wants, expectations, and everything else, I build up a lot of stress. Today, was an EXHAUSTING day of worrying, wanting, inability to write (which I HATE!) and other things have caused be a great amount of stress. So what? Do I just ADJUST? Or do I do something? What do I do? Do I leave it alone and expect it to fix itself? Or should I manipulate it in such a way to make things better? What!?!?!?!?!??!
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First day of school - realization of STRESS!
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First thing, katonsuiiton, try not to expect to be perfect, and to do everything. You're putting more stress on yourself than is healthy - and more than the school would want you to have, either.
Can you do some homework - at least reading - on the train?
Forget about your weight. There's nothing wrong with it, and you have to keep things in perspective. You can't wor on everything simultaneously.
Prioritise!
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Thanks. And what's wrong? No more Tony? I can listen to music on the train. I'll try that. But I'll try and manage. Thank you
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Sorry, I wasn't sure if you wanted it used publicly or not.
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I'm kind of in your spot, but I lack a few of the issues you have expressed. I go to that private catholic school, and I'm an A average student, but my grades haev been going higher, and my parents expect them to keep going, this means 90's, this isn't acheivable for me just simply because well... I don't want 90's. But thats not the point... You have to take things step-by-step, do things one at a time, and then once you complete it, you can look back and say "Wow, I did alot today" or "wow, I'm almost done?" it just makes things easier. Also try and see a doctor about the stomach issues, if you haven't already. I also have stomach issues, I have to watch what I eat. Try and hang in there, I'm routing for you.
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It's alright Anyone is welcome to call me Tony.
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What I don't understand, is why wouldn't you take stuff for both classes (if they were on the 3rd and 4th floors)? Last year I had 5 classes in a row on the same floor, and I carried all my books then (I seriously think I gained muscle from that too, I'm not joking). And you could eat something like a granola bar or whatever in between classes if you don't have a long way to go; or if you have a study hall. So... you get home about 5:30, trian ride included, right? If you go to sleep at 10:30, that's 5 hours to do whatever, but you have homework and CSI, so that's two hours to do whatever. So work out after school for an hour, and then you have an hour of free time. And, to cut back on homework, try working on it during class, if you can listen and do homework at the same time (risky though, some teachers get mad about that kind of thing... But a lot of classes end early, so you could do your homework then).