I hate to post here again. However, I guess I should do it while I am "level".Recently I have gotten out of my house and begun living in a dorm. Quite frankly I feel like its one of the best things to ever happen to me. (God knows i'm grateful for my other experiences in life and I'm not trying to belittle them by any means). I feel as if I am doing marginally better. I feel so much more free. I feel as if its easier to get out of bed in morning and easier to sleep at night. So over all I feel ALOT better. Infact unlike most people I don't even care to go home on the weekend.That being said I am trying to say that I am under normal circumstances fine.However, I have noticed in the last few days inexplicable feelings have set in and my mood tends to swing back and forth. Quite honestly I feel physically sick right now but, I don't think I am.I am writing right now because I feel level and I want to try to catch the different sides of the coin.On one hand I am out the house I am the happiest I have ever been. I really don't have to worry about what my parents think or anyone else and I can act like myself. I actually sleep well.... Which is something I use to never do. (catching up on years of missed sleep).On the other hand.. every so often I take these really downward spirals. Its like I go from "its all in the bag" to questioning everything. "is this the right major?" "can I really complete college?" and my mind basically goes on a trip looking for ways to reduce myself. Usually it finds something. Whether it be the junk food I survive off of when the cafe is closed, feelings of worthlessness in general, Past relationships. It usually finds a way to manifest something.Usually its pretty easy to curve.. Some music At home I could attain an ok mood but, it was far rarer then it is now. And while I try to kill off the negativity remaining.. I sometimes find myself embracing it with open arms.Its not a "OMG DEPRESSION WHERES TEH KNIFE" yet on the other hand I dunno. I guess I just feel the desire to post while I am in the neutral zone..... Saturday after the concert I was on a high like I had never seen before (natural no drugs) I guess ultimately I am just wondering what you guys think of this... Better off as far as my state of mind goes then in the past? bout the same? whole different ball park?
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I hate to be back here again.
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It's an important development, Nny, and one that has to happen if you are to become an independent person.But any big change is stressful. You're living in very different circumstances, and it will take some time to adjust. In the meantime, though you are happier, you're living under more stress than usual, and that can easily cause mood swings.
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Your in the, being away from home is fantastic - but can i deal, cope etc by myself phase.......scary but a good place to be As pete said this phase has to happen, and what you're feeling is perfectly normal, don't sweat it hon, enjoy your new life
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heh. I guess it doesn't help that my first few weeks have been all over the place from the daily commute on the first week to the death of my grandpa XD.Oh well. Thank god I don't have a job at the moment. One less thing to adapt to.
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I would say you're in one of the best situations... you are out of the house, yet you don't have to worry about all the things that usualyl come with living by yourself (talking about bills and such).
Enjoy this time while it lasts, you'll probably never have it as good as you do now (unless your parents continue to pay for everything for years to come, in which case, enjoy it all). -
I think that their willing to contribute to my academic success and indepent living style depends entirely on my grades this semister. Which kinda sucks because I have gotten off to a very rough start in math >.<
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That makes sense.
Why would they pay for their son to go to college if he's just slacking off?
Get good grades and enjoy the time you have.
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I have no intentions of slacking off. I am just hoping they are willing to understand the shitty first 4 weeks means my might might not be so well >.<
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From what I've read of your parents (by you talking about them), I'm sure they will understand.Either way, I doubt they're going to cut off all support because the first 4 weeks weren't so great.
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I was talking about the final math grade.
And my parents don't always use logic so I wouldn't try to predict to far ahead at the moment anyway.
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Well you said "my might might not be so well" so I was just guessing what you were trying to say. I tried.