Things moving a little fast...?

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Well, I've been with my current girlfriend for about 2 months now. I'd probably consider her as my first actual girlfriend. I've randomly gone out with people before, it just didn't click, so things never really progressed. This girl is my first kiss, all that stuff. We're both 16. We go to different schools, so we only see eachother on weekends. I hadn't seen her in 2 weeks though, because she went on vacation to a bunch or random countries in asia. Yesterday was my first time seeing her, so I met her at her dance, and after she was finished, we bussed to her house. We hung out in the basement in the afternoon, watching movies. Eventually, things progressed into us making out. We went back to watching movies, and I made some random joke, and she jokingly told me "that's why I hate you". With that, I acted like it hurt. We do that kind of thing a lot, we're kind of stupid that way. She said "I bet I can fix what I just said." She moved on top of me, and began kissing me again, and her hands slowly moved to my penis. I told her that I wasn't ready for any of that yet, and moved her hands back up for her. She accepted that, and we continued with what we were doing. Afterwards she led me to her bedroom, where we continued on her bed.

I don't really know what's going on, cause I know Im not ready for physical relations like that yet. Should I actually talk to her about this? Or should I just make sure that things don't progress further for a while? Advice would be great. Thanks in advance.

You told her. There doesn't seem to be more you can do. Next time you are together making out if she pushes for it again, then maybe you will have to explain a little better what you meant.It sounds like she likes you, and you like her, and she even respects you. You got a good one on the line Don't screw it up like me by jerkin' the pole all over and obsessing too much (That is just my highly unexperienced advice).

Haha, thanks. I'm trying not to sweat it to much. I'm thinking that if things get a little out of hand again, I'll have to sit her down and talk to her about it. Thanks for the advice.

Originally Posted By: unknownepic...She said "I bet I can fix what I just said." She moved on top of me, and began kissing me again, and her hands slowly moved to my penis. I told her that I wasn't ready for any of that yet, and moved her hands back up for her. She accepted that, and we continued with what we were doing. Afterwards she led me to her bedroom, where we continued on her bed. Sounds to me like she "wants it" really bad, and with YOU. I'm younger than you (I'm 14) and a couple of months ago I ended up having sex more because she wanted to than I wanted to. Anyway, after we did it, everything blew up. She told people that we did it, and it got back to her parents, and then she told them that I forced her to do it! It all cost me a LOT of grief, and I wish I never let myself get into that.So, maybe a lot of guys will think you must be gay if you don't want to have sex with her, and she might think so too, and that might be the end of the relationship. (Plus, could it get around school that you're probably gay because you wouldn't do it with her?)I think it's messy.

Originally Posted By: ScottP14So, maybe a lot of guys will think you must be gay if you don't want to have sex with her, and she might think so too, and that might be the end of the relationship. (Plus, could it get around school that you're probably gay because you wouldn't do it with her?)That's the stupidest thing I've read today. That was no where near helpful or necessary, Scott.

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So, maybe a lot of guys will think you must be gay if you don't want to have sex with her, and she might think so too
Maybe that's the problem with having sex when you're 14---people think stupid things like this?

Seriously, if she has half a lick of sense in her, she isn't going to think you're gay just because you want to wait with having sex.

you guys shouldn't be picking on him, that situation actually happens alot... even now, i have a friend who is 17 and is constantly hassled because he is a virgin, when i lost it willingly, it was because i was forced into it, after her calling me a faggit and insulting my ego, (i was uneducated about sexuality back then) i layed her down and ravaged her, this is not uncommon...

i feel that a guys virginity isn't all that special, you shouldn't want to wait for "the perfect time" because its never going to happen... you got a dick, you should use it... but dont think that im telling you to go fuck everything with legs and a hole, its actually the complete opposite, you hold in your han- well thats not a good way of saying it, you have in your pants a very beautiful thing (sounds funny but im serious) you have the right to not only bring pleasure to the person you care about, but you also have the power to bring into this world other creations, children, a son, a daughter... dont walk around being all high and mighty, but think twice before you have sex with a girl who might run around saying that you two "did it"

this thread makes sex seem very unattractive an unwanted.matter of fact, this entire site makes sex out to be an object or pasttime so there's no desire for it. At least for me. I don't like the word sex. I mean it's whatever I have nothing against it. I'd just rather see it as making love with someone precious to you. I guess most people don't see virginity as a good thing or whatever but it's not like it's a tool. And I don't think a guy's virginity is any less special than a woman's virginity. Simply because they have something different. I always used to think that as you have sex with each person you're giving a part of yourself to that person. So if you go and have sex with Nicole and then with Britney, Britney now has a little bit of Nicole. That's kinda nasty. Just the way I see it.

Quote:you guys shouldn't be picking on him, that situation actually happens alotWho said it would happened? Who needs to know what happened between the OP and his girlfriend. It's their business and, unless she's a blabbermouth, no one will know. Like LittleQ said, if she had any sense she wouldn't even think that her boyfriend is gay. A REAL girlfriend would respect and understand her boyfriend's wishes.God, honestly...what's wrong with a guy who wants to wait? Him wanting to wait will make people think he's gay...such teenage stupidity.  Quote:i feel that a guys virginity isn't all that special, you shouldn't want to wait for "the perfect time" because its never going to happen... That's your opinion and my opinion on that that it's absolutely, pure nonsense.My boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years. And even till this day he always tells me how much he regrets losing his virginity at such a young age. Now that he found me, he says he wanted nothing more than for me to be his first.

To the OP >don't listen to this junk > "...So, maybe a lot of guys will think you must be gay if you don't want to have sex with her, and she might think so too, and that might be the end of the relationship."DO what you FEEL is BEST for you! If you don’t feel ready don’t have sex. my ex gf had friends like him, telling her she needed to fuck me so i wouldn't leave her. they filled her head with nothing but shit lies and scared her that i'd leave her. the point is our reslation shi p was just fine untill they got involved pushing her.... sex was our downfall. Just cuz your a guy some automatically think we want sex but it's not the way it works. guys might be males but they have feeligns too. it's not all sex...sex.. and more sex. IF the tables wore turend and you were a girl and a guy was pushing you when your wren’s ready..... do you think some would say shit cuz your not having sex? NO! the'd probably pat you on the back. but your not a girl you are a guy so.... yea  Quote: That's your opinion and my opinion on that that it's absolutely, pure nonsense. I 2nd that. I wish daily that I could have mine back. Again to the op… wither you have sex or not is up to you. But please don’t let her push you into something you really don’t want to do. …and IF you two do use a condom! lol A woman’s power of seduction can be very powerful……… I’m going to leave it at that.

Most of the time, girls find it really really attractive when a guy wants to wait (because there's less pressure), but here's the key: You have to let her know that BEFORE she tries to take your pants off. Otherwise, she's just going to think that you're rejecting her, claiming that you want to stay a virgin, when you really just don't want to have sex with her.

would a girl really think that? OMG That could be the source of all my latest problems

I would tell her that you're not quite ready to go that far yet but that you'd like to progress things sexually when you feel ready. Tell her you'd like to develop the relationship more but you're definitely up for it in the coming months so that she won't view you negatively and become offended. This was tough for me to answer because if I were in your position I would have said yes to her going down on me. But that's just me. If you're not ready just say no politely but when you are ready just go with the flow. Hope this helps. Good luck!

I think, considering the maturity levels of that age group... that quote could be (in some instances, most certainly not all) true.

Whatever the case, unknown, you are on the exact right track for what you want. You want to wait and you want her to understand that it isnt about her, its about your not wanting things to move too fast. You told her and she accepted, and thats VERY good. Maybe you should sit down and have a serious but still lighthearted talk with her about it. Tell her how much you care about her, and explain your feelings. SHe'll understand.With my girlfriend, I failed to do that. We talked 'the big talk' about it alot and I chickened out a few times, as did she. That led her to think that there was something wrong with her, and I felt like the lowest thing walking the Earth. She thought I didnt love her, or that I wasnt attracted to her anymore. It was horrible. Eventually we had a long, long talk about it, and when we finally did it, it was amazing, and emotional, and everything we both wanted it to be.As long as you talk to her and make sure she understands, everything should go just fine. Just dont wait til the moment and back out, or she'll think its her, and thats the LAST thing youw ant her to think.