Or is it just me?
Moved, mostly, still have stuff at the ranch. Thought I would be able to work there. Thought I would feel ok leaving my trailer until I felt secure with the live in deal.
Yet, the work is cut off at the ranch... I can't get a hold of the gal with the other job I thought I had...
Tuesday, I did way too much and now I am paying with a VERY painful back.
I'm a bit to independent to be where I am right now, though, I am kind of enjoying it.
I feel SO guilty though! I haven't had a dime come in since we moved. That includes child support. Why is it SO hard to believe that I am contributing enough?
I put in alot of time here at the house, the crew eats well, (oh yeah, you guys buy the groceries right now... thanks to government help while the child support gets sorted), laundry gets done, calls made, all the stuff a good "house wife" should do. Hell, I would be out changing the oil in the car right now if he would have left me the oil. I have the filter, but I don't want to drop out the oil, change the filter, and get a call from the school.
My man complained ONE time, not to me, but in front of the kids, we talked about it, and really, if I were working, his day would be ALOT harder by his own admittance. Bad timing and a frustrated moment for him no biggie... BUT it fed me worrying that I SHOULD be doing something different.
Is it a normal feeling these days to think that financial contribution is MORE important than the rest of it???
I go to work full time, this place won't be as clean, nor will the yard be as nice, I sure won't be cooking the stuff every one likes that is healthy. (If it won't go in a crock pot or isn't done in 20 mins forget it after a long day).
He seems ok with whatever, I just can't help feeling guilty.