ive been with my gf for 5 months now and i cant get over things that happened before we were together. i met her at uni and liked her from the very start. she lived near me, had heaps in common etc, it was perfect. when we were just friends i took her to a concert for a band i didnt even like, i just wanted to spend a night out with her. i met up with one of my guy friends from highschool and i ontroduced them. before the first band came on he said hed go get me a drink and she went to get a drink too. i didnt see either of them till the concert was done and they were hooking up. she knew i liked her and so did my friend. it was the biggest betrayl ive ever experienced. the next week im at a party and she hooks up with another of my friends right in front of me. thats when i gave up and had to just let it go...the next week ive make out with some random at a club and she tells me shes jealous. a month later we became a couple and have been for the past 5 months. but i still cant get over what she did to me...i got so angry and sad at the same time. i love her alot bug i dont know if i'll ever let it go. i punish her with guilt all the time. shes is truly sorry and it was before we were together. its like im just waiting till i stop loving her and can just let it all go. is it all worth it for the chance that one day ill be able to forgive and forget?
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Can't forgive and forget
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Let her go. She doesn't deserve the guilt trips you're giving her. If you really love her, you would've let this go long ago.
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i agree with stary, if you really care about this girl, talk to her about it, which im sure u have already...just be like, look ______, i love you soo much, and i can tell that you are truly sorry about what you did, and if you can promise me that it will never happen again. i promise that ill just forget it ever happened...and if you cant do that, or if you say it, but u still feel like you cant let it go, then leave her, to be honest its not worth the pain she is going to feel, and its not worth the possibility of you getting angry one day, and hitting her, or in my case... squeezing her too hard,im speaking from pure experience, if you cant learn to love her and the mistakes that shes done, leave her now before its too late...
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Quote:and if you can promise me that it will never happen again. i promise that ill just forget it ever happened...She doesn't have to promise him anything. This happened BEFORE they got together. And obviously, he can't promise he'll forget because it's still bothering him.The issue isn't her, it's him. Which is why I agree with you that he needs to leave her.