OK il try and keep this short....
theres this girl i like and i want to know if she likes me, i havent felt this way about any one before, its more than a physical atraction, but the thing is i dont know wheter she feels the same way about me? we when into town together the other day (only us) and were going in agaion soon and we boah like each others company, but i am unsue wheter she likes me as a freind or if she wants it to be something more, im scared to ask for a few reasons, mainly i like what we have as a freindship and dont want to ruin that or make it uncomfterbal between us, also i apsolutly hate asking girls out it scares me to my core (any tips?) i also have know real i dears of the signs that girls give off to show a guy there intrested
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Does she??
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Relationship stuff is my specialty :P.A tip is to NEVER EVER tell her (at least for now until we find out more about her):"I like you". IF she only likes you as a friend, you will have put her in a difficult situation and there are some girls that don't like being confronted with the fact that someone likes them. Your friendship might end. You don't want that."What if/what would you do if i told you that i liked you?" Frankly, not very smart. Trying to indirectly tell her or try to get her to answer is obvious and doesn't work.Now, for the 'signs'.Has she done ANYTHING that may have caused you to suspect that she likes you?Do tell as many as you can think of. They make life easier.
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ok what sort of things do you want to know....ask awayermm....im seeing her again on tues just us (i think) and were guna go shoping for jeans (for her) then we mightgo to the cinima or to an art gallary of some quirky shops....we are boath quite simler in what we like, we both want to do the same thing when were older, dont know if any of this helps with my situaltion.
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Aight man, First I agree with WTF, DON'T TELL HER YOU LIKE HER. Don't even imply it via the, "what would you do..." bullshit. Girl's are groomed from their very beginning of life to analyze relationships. She knows whether or not you're a friend or more than a friend. Trust me--she knows. What you have to do is decipher the codes and signs. Watch her body language. When you're around her is it open/positive? or Closed/negative? Does she look you in the eyes when you talk--even about mundane subjects? Does she touch her hair or fiddle with her hair? Does she lick/moisten her lips frequently (sign of wanting a kiss when she's looking at you). You have to be very careful man. Because if you don't play your cards right you will end up a friend and once that happens it is VERY HARD to get out of the, "friend zone". Do you guys hug? Is it a hug that you'd get where she places her arms just barely on your shoulders or pat you on the back? Or is it a strong hug that says, "I'm comfortable in your arms"? There are all sorts of signs to watch for because humans are pre-programmed to act a certain way around certain people.
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I also agree with Blackmanoncampus, watch her body language and the things she says. For example, if i'm having a conversation with someone who likes me, i'm constantly evaluating everything i say and do. 'If i stand like this, will he get the wrong idea?' 'If i say this will he think i like him back?' 'If i agree to do this will he assume i like him?'I evaluate everything i say and do in order to not give them the wrong idea. i also avoid a lot of direct eye contact. for me, it's because i'm shy and i also don't like them back. in your case, it would be vice versa.however, don't be too worried if she doesn't maintain eye contact with you. depending on her, she just may be shy. staring into someone's eyes is actually really intense and i can't maintain it for long even if it's with my own family or people i don't even like.I'm not sure how close you two are and how much you know her, but try answering these as best as you can.1. Is she the shy or the bold/outgoing type?2. Does she get straight to the point or does she beat around the bush? Otherwise known as: 'says no when she means yes, says yes when she means no' 3. If she's dated before, how long was her longest relationship? How long was the shortest? What was the reason for the breakup? Who dumped who? This is especially important, because if one is always the one getting dumped, something is definitely wrong.If she likes you back and you two do end up dating, i can guarantee you two will have a blast together. Since you like a lot of the same things, that will definitely contribute to having a successful relationship. And ignore the popular saying, "opposites attract". It's bullshit, and only works for magnets.
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Originally Posted By: wtfmate3. If she's dated before, how long was her longest relationship? How long was the shortest? What was the reason for the breakup? Who dumped who? This is especially important, because if one is always the one getting dumped, something is definitely wrong.That shouldn't really matter at the very beginning of trying to build a relationship. That's usually after two or three dates, I guess. If you like someone, why would you judge them based on PAST relationships?Everyone is in some small degree "damaged goods". We all have faults and no one is perfect. But if we like someone, we accept them for who they are, with their faults.If someone is constantly getting dumped, maybe it's because they are misunderstood or it simply didn't work out. Not everyone's personalities are going to mesh well together but it doesn't mean there's something "wrong" with them.I don't know but that comment just didn't rub me the right way. Originally Posted By: wtfmateAnd ignore the popular saying, "opposites attract". It's bullshit, and only works for magnets. Don't jump to conclusions like that so fast. It may have not worked for you but it is possible.-------(not to you wtfmate, but to the thread in general).Lol, I never have and never will understand why people go as far as acutally try to "analyze" what girls say and do. I'm not saying it doesn't work, and maybe it does.For me, I never think about "Am I sending the wrong message if I do this?" when I'm meet guys (or when I use to). That's too much to think about, lol. I just act like my natural self. I don't say something but mean another thing. I don't play stupid mind games like that.I act like me because it's natural and it will let anyone talking to me know who I am right off the bat. What you see, is what you get basically.Lol, I don't know where I'm getting at but that's just my silly philosophy.
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Originally Posted By: Virtual_StarFor me, I never think about "Am I sending the wrong message if I do this?" when I'm meet guys (or when I use to). That's too much to think about, lol. I just act like my natural self. I don't say something but mean another thing. I don't play stupid mind games like that.I act like me because it's natural and it will let anyone talking to me know who I am right off the bat. What you see, is what you get basically.Lol, I don't know where I'm getting at but that's just my silly philosophy. [/size][/font][/color] that's because you're a mature adult(i think??). If not an adult, just a mature person in general (i don't know your age). the person posting this situation is how old?
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Oh sweetheart, you have no idea how wrong you are. I'm the most immature 21-year-old kid you'll ever meet. :grin:
But like I said, that's just me. Maybe reading a girl's body language and such really does work, so I'm not saying not to take BMOC or wtfmate's advice. :smile:
I don't remember the exact quote, but Gene Simmons once said about women, "Just when you think you've figure it out, you end up being wrong.". -
It does work. It's a basal instinct. Think about it: When you're uncomfortable how do you act? When you're relaxed and mellow and obviously comfortable how do you act? I'm gonna bet those two are different. However there is a small margin of error to account for. Folded arms usually are perceived as a negative "close-off" stance. But there are several times when it's just really comfortable. Also, once you get good at projecting how you feel it comes natural. You just get accustomed to dealing with people so you feel comfortable in almost any situation - and this shows in your body language and it's natural looking. But for this guy, the OP, he's interested in getting this girl so that's why I think it's a good idea to watch for signs -- since us men somehow have a tendency to miss signs Also I agree, you're very mature VS. I've read a lot of your posts. I honestly would not have perceived you to be the same age as I.
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Originally Posted By: blackmanoncampus
Also I agree, you're very mature VS. I've read a lot of your posts. I honestly would not have perceived you to be the same age as I.
Lol, really? Much thankies and the same goes for you! :smile: -
Quote:That shouldn't really matter at the very beginning of trying to build a relationship. That's usually after two or three dates, I guess. If you like someone, why would you judge them based on PAST relationships? well, if her longest relationship was two weeks, then you gotta think as to why it was so short. perhaps she made a mistake in choosing the guy, and what does that show about her judgement? maybe she was the one who got dumped, and you gotta think why. maybe it's not her fault, maybe the guy wanted sex and she didn't, but these things do matter. Quote: Don't jump to conclusions like that so fast. It may have not worked for you but it is possible.I've never actually experienced it, but i've seen it. Hell, i've been born in a family of it. And i see the shit my mother has to go through everyday. hell, i have to go through it too. Opposites do not attract. Think about it. Dating someone completely opposite from you will be hell. Of course, this excludes the few minor things such as one person loves to talk, the other loves to listen. But what if one is organized, but the other is disorganized? What if one is stubborn, the other is more laidback? One is quick to forgive and the other isn't? One likes to talk things out and deal with the problem and the other runs away from it? The examples i stated are all examples from watching my own parents. I'm sure there are more out there. Opposites do not attract. My bad, let me rephrase. They may ATTRACT, but they will NOT mix.
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Originally Posted By: wtfmatewell, if her longest relationship was two weeks, then you gotta think as to why it was so short. perhaps she made a mistake in choosing the guy, and what does that show about her judgement? maybe she was the one who got dumped, and you gotta think why. maybe it's not her fault, maybe the guy wanted sex and she didn't, but these things do matter.Every relationship is a case by case basis. There's infinite list of reasons why relationships are broken because that's life.For example, what if she goes out with a guy who's really cool. But then he does a "bait and switch" and turns out to be a jerk who wanted to get in his pants? In this case, it wasn't poor judgement, the guy pulled a fast one on her. These things do happen.Another example: People don't look like who they are inside. What if a girl saw this great looking guy. They get together and she finds out he's really sweet but loves video games and other geeky things. She dumps him. Does that mean there's something wrong with the guy? Nope, it's just another case of personalities not mixing well.Last example: He goes out and finds this girl. They go out for two weeks and she suddenly dumps him. He asks why and she says because she wants sex and he's not ready to get physical.Of course, I'm pulling these out of my ass and tons more details are missing. But the point is that this kind of information is often saved until the relationship moves forward. You don't want to interrogate your potential partner on the first date, lol.Mind that I'm the kind of person who was willing to give any guy a chance, back when I was single. But that's just my opinion and I'm sticking to it.
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i totally get you.i'm guessing there's just a misunderstanding between us.when i was asking the question, i meant it as, how long was the longest/shortest and why?i assumed the 'why' would be a given, but that's a mistake on my part.
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OK...so i said ill keep updated..and that way you can tell me if there’s any signs that might suggest she likes meso we went into town together yesterday and coz we both wana do the same thing when we where older she joked (i think!!!) "will you marry me" im like sure...and we went in to this shop and walked passed the sofa section and i said we should get ones like that in our house....and so it went on for a bit ...then she was we went to a shop and i helped her chose a lip ring to replace her stud in her lip....she was actively asking for my input...duno what to conclude from the fact she trust me to help her chose her look...we got some food..and as a joke she sliped a straw into my pocket ...naturally i find it put in in her hood...she findes and puts it into my pocket unsubtly pushing it inside with her hole hand????...also we went up this hill and she asked me to pull her up...holding hands i let go at the top coz i got cold feet to hold her hand any longer?also she gave me hug when before she left..(we get diffent buses)and she put her hands about at shoulder blade height....i appreciated this is unclear and messy, but anything you can draw from it as to wheter she likes me of just wants to be friends is greatly appreciated
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She either likes you or she thinks your gay.Seriously, your never gonna know until you ask.
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ok im pretty sure she know im straigt ...but i dont wana ask her incasse it ruins our freindship...id rather not be able to love her than lose her as a freind
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I was kidding.
If you play it right you don't have to lose her as a friend after you ask. Just use a little self deprecating humor to gloss over the uncomfortable situation.
Throw in a couple, "you don't know what your missin's" or "Okay, but look at what your missin' out on", not in a vain way but a in a manner of humorous self disparage, laugh about it and move the relationship quickly back to the friendship phase.