As someone who works with children, do you think that was the professional, appropriate response to people?
Was I sitting in a Therapist chair when I said that?
When you post on here, are you posting as a Journalist or whatever you do during the day? Give me a break. I'm not here as a Therapist. I'm not even on the mental health board. I'm on the community forum board thingy. I wasn't attempting to give a professional response to anyone. So please get over that.
Imagine in the 'real' world if you told one of your patients to put on his big boy panties and be a man about it. What do you think will happen to you? Do you think your patient will feel comfortable expressing feelings to you if you have this "suck it up and be a man" attitude about life? I don't think so.
Fact is, I have told boys very similar things...with remarkable success. In fact, that is one of the reasons they feel comfortable with me, because I talk to them man to man, not professional to "patient/client/consumer". I have the ability to look at the teenage boys I see and say "let's cut through the crap. you need to get it together, right?" And they will typically grin...or do whatever teenage boys do when they are uncomfortable...and say "yeah". My job isn't to always make them feel "good". Supported and encouraged, yes. All good and mushy, not all the time. How about you be the journalist and let me be the Therapist...when I'm at work.
The problem with your statement is you, like others who do not understand victims of abuse or other mental illnesses, think victims act this way because people allow them to. People who suffer wake up everyday wishing they can erase the pain, hatred and frustration.
You think I don't understand victims of abuse or mental illness? Who the hell do you think you are talking to?!? And I'm not even talking about training, education, and spending my life with victims. I am talking about suffering through these things myself. That's a huge assumptions you just made there, my friend. And a very wrong one. As one who has experienced these things, I had to learn that waking up and wishing got me nowhere. I needed to move. I think that's what Caleb needs to do. Move. One tiny baby step. That's where it starts.
While I don't doubt your sincerity, I feel that you could have done it in a more professional way. People on here expected more of you because of your background and you failed to live up to that. Instead, you showed a simplistic, good ol' boy attitude to a complicated issue.
Once again, I am not here as a professional any more than you are. And as for failing to live up to my profession, how about we let others in my profession be the judge of that, not you. In fact, if you asked people in my profession, they would no doubt tell you that my approach to this whole tiring ordeal would be much more in line with a professional/therapeutic approach to the issues than what others are offering. So, yeah, I am the professional. I am the therapist. I am the one who deals with this kind of thing day in and day out. So instead of all you non-Therapist folks who don't deal with this on a daily basis harping on me and saying "how utterly unprofessional and un-therapist like, Damien. You are disappointing", maybe you should be thinking more on the lines of "hmmm...sounds harsh...but he is a Therapist who spends day in and day out with this kind of thing...maybe he knows what he's doing."
How about one person on this damned site giving me the fucking benefit of the doubt!?!
Screw the whales, save the subjunctive!