I have a problem. My girlfriend and i have sorta just tryed to become sexually active. She's given me a blowjob several times ( 4 to be exact) and she wants me to pleasure her and give her an orgasm. the problem is i can't. i know virtually nothing about the way the vagina works. I've had sex twice but never really tryed to make a girl orgasm through means of blowjobs or fingering/clitoral stimulation. I feel inadequate when she brings it up and it sort of depresses me. I've told her how I feel too and she doesn't understand it. can you guys/girls maybe give me some tips? also, her mom is usually home when im around which sort of negates the option because I think that orgasms are usually loud, but I've only caused one so I don't know much about them. Porn doesn't give me a good idea of how this happens either as most orgasms are fake in the videos. I'd appreciate any links/personal advice i can receive from anybody. I realize that my nickname is inappropriate right now I'm trying to get that fixed if you were wondering about it. Thanks for the help.
-
Girlfriend sexual dilemma
-
Hello there!Can your girlfriend reach an orgasm on her own?
-
I replied to your PM (and sent you one myself). (The flashing envelope means you have a PM.) If you give me a replacement name I'll put it in, or you can change it through My Profile.
Edit: Silly me, you already had. Now done. :smile:
-
thanks ineligible.but yes, she has orgasmed by herself.
-
In that case, a fun way to learn each of your sexual buttons is to explore around and see what feels good. My belief is sex is about communication. If you show and tell each other what work and what doesn't, you'll learn how to make sex fun each time.Since she can orgasm on her own, she should be able to show or tell you how to help her reach that peak.
-
Funny, I've been in the exact same situation you have. (minus the having sex twice thing.) I also seeked A2A for guidance. I was given suggestions that turned out to be extremely helpful. Some were:1. Put her hand on you, let her guide you2. Ask her how?! I doubt she'll be resistent in teaching you how to pleasure her!3. listen to her moans, or breathing, they can also guide you. (if you do something and her breath picks up, or she moans, KEEP DOING IT!)4. Go slow, don't immediately start pounding her like a jackhammer! Take it off slowly, and progressively become faster, applying increasing amounts of pressure as well.If you've had sex twice, you know somewhat how the vagina "works." The most effective way I've found for fingering my gf is good ol' clitoral. Have her help you find hers, and you're golden! Hope I've helped!
-
I wouldn't like that. being tought how to make her feel good. No offense to your suggestion it just would make me feel even less adequate because guys in the past have done it to her right off the bat.- that comment was to the star person not emo boy. but it could pretty well be like that for both comments.I wanna be able to do this myself without her having to tell me everything. Id feel sorta embarrassed. I know where th vagina is and where the actual hole is located and the vicinity of the clitoris is i just don't really know what to do to stimulate her. I really don't wanna go asking her how to do that seeing as she can get me to orgasm no problem. but then again a penis is less complex to a girl than a vagina will be to a guy for the first time. (from my opinion, you don't have to agree)yes i've had sex but i didn't really study what their vagina looked like. the second girl was so terrible she couldn't even guide me to put it in her own vagina! she kept telling me it was slipping out and that i needed to put it further up!
-
This post may have useful information.
-
To stimulate her clitoris, place one or two fingers on it, SOFTLY. This process is much easier if she's wet, so FOREPLAY would be helpful. (Kissing, touching, blahblahblah) Once there, slighty move your fingers in a cirgular motion, with little or no pressure. Progressively increase the speed of your rotations, and apply more pressure. Make this process slow, let her climax build for a better experience.This works extremely well with my girlfriend, but unlike men, all women are different and have different preferences/likes and dislikes.As for vaginal stimulation...I have no idea. sorry
-
Lol, no where I said to ASK her. That's a mood killer.I meant, have her guide you slowly. Have her take your hand and move it where she wants and such. Trust me, it can be fun. But that's just me, anyway.One thing that bugs me though, is you shouldn't feel like you have to surpass the guys she's been with before. That is a bad thing to think about every time you do anything intimate because it WILL impare your "performance".Don't worry about not being a stud right off the bat. We all start somewhere. This things take time. You'll learn in good time.
-
And also some "how-to" guides from WikiAfterDark:How to Finger a GirlHow to Eat a Girl Out
-
that's where I learned.
-
Just ask dude. It took me weeks of "to the left, harder, too hard, down a bit, down a bit more, too far, etc" for me to get the hang of it.
Think she's going to remember the 2 weeks you were awkward and needed to be directed, or the months of constant orgasms that come after?
-
She hasn't really done it with many guys. only two have ever fingered her, one gave her head. another thing is she's putting pressure on me to do that to her too. and it makes me even more nervous doing it then i already am. she'll bring up things like (my name ) 4, (her name) 0. it just makes me feel like im not good enough for her. like its completely my fault that im probably gonna fail at it the first couple times and shes probably going to be angry about it for even longer. I really like her to the point where me, a guy who promised to himself not to go here, would attempt to do this for her. Another problem is doing something like that would turn me off. smelling or tasting a vagina just wouldn't do it for me. I'd rather go straight to sex because thats the way id please her the most as soon as possible but I don't wanna make a mistake and move too fast.Thanks for those guides inelig, ill check them out. I had looked for stuff like that online and couldn't find it but i remembered this website and thought id give it a try. thanks again/ I'll try and update you guys on how things are working or not working out.and robins, I'm only 17. it's not like we get to spend that much time alone man. i get to see her alone on weekends only. I see her in school but we obviously can't do anything sexual there.so months of orgasms? not likely.
-
nicely put helmsman. It sounds to me that your girlfriend is pressuring you to do things you're not ready for. Don't let her push you, you know?
-
Originally Posted By: Decius08
another thing is she's putting pressure on me to do that to her too. and it makes me even more nervous doing it then i already am.
That's serious and a bad sign of trouble.Have you told her how you feel when she tells you that? You need to talk about this issue with her because that kind of stress can and will ruin a relationship.
She should understand that you're new in this relationship and things should be nice and slow.
Talk to her about this. Seriously.
-
Originally Posted By: Emo_Boynicely put helmsman.Lol! Sorry but huh?
-
Yes, and Quote:it just makes me feel like im not good enough for her. like its completely my fault that im probably gonna fail at it the first couple times and shes probably going to be angry about it for even longerworries me too. That suggests very low self-confidence and a lot of worry and stress. Sex should be about mutual fun and explorations, not an examination that you're going to get graded on.
-
well, its not like shes demanding it. i have talked to her about it somewhat. she knows i'm going through a state of depression right now and that im very sensitive about most subjects. I've told her it makes me feel inadequate that i can't please her the way she can please me. and she says she'll try not to bring it up but she still has. i've tryed to confront her about it but i fumble for the words and feel embarrased every time. For some reason she's always telling me how good-looking i am, too. and that sorta makes me feel like thats the only reason she likes me. Although she was the first girl that I've ever heard of commenting on my looks besides my mom.
I've never been good with girls anyways as i truthfully haven't found any girlfriend I've had in the past attractive. Until her. -
I'm sorry, I got my people mixed up. Kmrobins is who I meant. His and helmsman's pictures confuse me. oops!