I dont feel like typing the whole story again.. so here it is in MSN lingo
so
we broke up.. mid august or so
i really really wanted to get back together
and he rejected me hard
HARD
well
it got to the point where i literally wanted to leave the country
i had plans to go to germany to be a nanny
and he begged me not to go.. telling me he loved me.. that i was the one for him.. that he wanted to marry me someday
blah blah blah
next day.. changes his mind.. tells me he meant it all in a friendship way
anyway.. long weekend in september.. on the friday.. we go to the beach
have a great day.. come home.. have reallly great sex.. it was like 1.5 hours long
go out that night with my friends.. h goes home.. on saturday night i go out with my friends.. then on sunday.. he comes into my work
i asked him what he did last night.. "i went on a date" i was soo hurt and upset
we had made plans to hang out on the sunday so i asked him "are we still on for tonight" and he said he didnt know because he didnt know what he was doing and i was all wtf i thought we were hanging out.. then he says he might be hanging out with beth
so im all hurt
i start crying because im hurt he was out with another girl... taking her on a date.. kissing her
then i call him later and he gets MAD at me for being hurt
so im like f that
i meet a new guy .. me and him go on our first date.. on the tuesday
i was sooo into this guy
SOOO into this guy
we see eachother like 5 outta the 6 days im home
i dont talk to josh during any of them
jeff literally made me forget josh
i go to grandbend for a week with the family i work with
josh calls me .. tells me he wrote me an email.. asks me how i am.. i tell him about jeff
tell him im totally into this guy.. that hes probably the most amazing guy ive ever hung out with
meanwhile.. jeff is telling me not to fall for him
josh tells me he is really sad..
lol
let me show u the emails he sent me
while he was dating this other girl
ya
heres the first one
there is just something about you that keeps me up at night...it's like 3 in the morning and I was lying awake in bed thinking that this is probably the first time since we met, that we went a week without seeing eachother(I miss you)I caught up on a couple emails, but already realized...There is just something about you that I love so much ps. I hope we can see eachother soon...(you have to, you
you're hypnotized
this is the second
So I figured out what lol means. I guess you're still in grandbend, I hope you're having a good time. I kinda know how you feel now with the long awaited email response....I have been thinking about you alot these past few days, and I hope you will return my email or better yet give me a call, but I guess all we have is time...I really want you in my life, this past year even through the rough tim
times was the best of my life and it's because of you. I probably STILL love you more then anyone else on this planet, and would be at a total loss if we didn't remain in contact withone another. Steph I miss you and hope we can talk soon.
this is the third
Steph, I don't know what to say... I love you(please make time for me this weekend)
i only read the third one... on my cell phone.. so i call him and tell him he can see me friday before i go out
so i come home friday.. hes sooo nervous
things feel kinda weird
he takes me for a drive
pulls out this BEAUTIFUL letter
pulls out a diamond ring
and begs for me back
so we get back together
we last about a week.. and i got really drink and really mad at him at oktoberfest
i break things off 2 days later.. then i really regret it
josh doesnt know if he wants to get back together
rejects me again
jeff asks me out
that lasts 3 days
me and josh get back together
now were good
ANYWAYS
here is the deal that i am upset about
and cannot get out of my head
he had sex with her!
i had sex with jeff
but thats expected
i have history like that
he is a good guy
hes a respectful guy
hes pretty much scared of women
and he fucked another girl
i feel .. i dunno
i feel weird
but i did sooo much worse then him
but i cant get it out of my mind
That is that.. sorry its soo long!!
HELLLLLLLP