Hey, I'm kinda new here but I've been viewing posts on here for quite a while although I have never actually come forward and made one of my own. I'm approaching 18 next year and I am already worried about being alone in life, like seriously worrying. I've had girlfriends in the past and lost my virginity this year but since I split with my last girlfriend this summer, it's been pretty quiet. I don't speak to any girls anymore and all my current friends are guys. I don't really go out much anymore and when I do, it's with my friends up the park or round someone's house so I don't really have much contact with girls just latley. Everyone I know seems to be in a relationship or "be on to something" and I'm kinda taking a backseat and just letting things go on and it's beginning to worry me now. I don't actually want a girlfriend if I am 100% honest right now but for some reason, eventhough I don't actually want one I am getting so worried and paranoid about being alone it's beginning to make me ill. Since my last relationship, which ended badly I told myself I don't want another relationship until I have sorted myself out in life (with a job, place to live, car, money etc) but I'm not sure if thaty is the right mindset to be in.What is up with me?I may not have said everything that I was trying to but basically, I'm in a current state of mind where extreme paranoia has taken over.Will I be alone forever or am I just overreacting?
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Starting to worry...
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Welcome to the exclusive club of posting members, zaine. :smile:
I think it's perfectly fine, and indeed very sensible, to not want a new girlfriend on the rebound, but want to sort out your life a bit first (provided you don't wait until your life is completely in order, because it never is).
Yes, it's difficult when all your friends are paired up or pairing up, but you can always say that you have been there and done that. At 17 there should be no social requirement to be paired. Of course you won't be alone forever.
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I felt somewhat like that after my first broke up with me and went all "need of repair."
I can somwhat empathize with you, but I also agree with what he's saying - it's perfectly normal to want to straighten things out, and when you feel comfortable going out and getting another girlfriend, then get out there and make yourself known :). What was different with me was that I turned on the whole "relationship" idea at a young age because it was just needless heartbreak but sometime around this year, my opinions were turned around and I am just currently... waiting.
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you wont be alone forever, it may feel liek it, but one day, you'll meet a girl, and all of a sudden, you'll be goign out, and you'll say to yourself "self, how did this happen? i was only single a few days ago" and you'll be all happy and la de friggin' da!
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Deep down I know that I am just over exaggerating and I really don't think I will be alone forever but for some reason I am always thinking "what if...".I mean, I am always thinking of where I want to be at by the time I am a certain age such as "I wanna be married when I'm..." or "I wanna have kids by the time I'm..." and I'm always thinking "What if it just never happens?"Is this a normal thing to be going through at my age?And is it normal for me to be thinking about the future, in the way that I am?Thanks for the replies I have gotten, btw.
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dude, believe me, i know, its totaly normal, just try not to think about stuff like that, it only freaks you out
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Maybe it is all this spare time I have on my hands, I have loads of time to think about shit like this because it is only on my mind when I'm not actually doing anything. I need a job, lol.Thanks for reading and replying, hopefully you're all right and it is a phase that I'm going through and I will find someone.
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It's good to have work to do, and a wage you can save for the future will come in very handy.I think it's good to think of the future enough to do what is needed to plan for it, but don't forget that all sorts of unexpected things will happen. Relationships are rarely planned - they tend to happen when you least expect them.
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Yeah, to be honest, that is true.