My sister has been talking to a guy over the internet for some time now. She is head over heels over him. And he just admitted a few days ago that he 'loves her' and wants to meet her. She wants to too, but her friend managed to convince her otherwise. She is spending way too much time on the website, chatting with him, flirting, and whatever else. She claims that real life humans are much too boring and he is the only one she finds interesting, and they 'understand each other', the same old bullshit. My mother doesn't know about this. And my sister doesn't want me to tell. She hates her job and her life and whatever, so she concluded that she 'retreats to the website(and him) for comfort'. My mom has advised her to spend less time on the computer (but she doesn't know WHY she spends so much time on there) and put more effort on her job. My sister's boss recently told her that she wasn't 'fast enough and wasn't doing a good job keeping up'. I can't say whether this is a direct connection between her lover and her bad performance at work, but nonetheless. She wants to be a wife and a mother and stuff and i tell her if she keeps devoting so much time on a guy who she's never going to marry, she's going to let time pass her by. Then her fear of being single will really come true. We spoke on the phone about half an hour ago and we both hung up angry. She was angry at me for lecturing her and claims that she doesn't need/want my 'approval or acceptance on this matter', while i'm angry, because she's being a dumbass. She needs to go out and meet people and exerience the world, but instead she's in her house, on the computer, talking to someone she's never going to meet/date, let alone marry. And she knows it. She even admitted it. She says that she's 'making the same mistake as mom, by marrying someone out of pity rather than love'. This guy is very egotistic, he loves himself and sees everyone as an inferior, he's violent, in some ways, he's an idiot, he's just...fucking crazy. He actually just came back from an asylum a few weeks ago. Wtf!? My sister is fucking blind in this matter and i don't know what to do. I care about her and i want her to be happy, sure she may be happy NOW, but when she's old and single, no. Not so happy anymore. Then she'll start complaining to me, blahblah why didn't i listen to you, blahblah. Shit like that always happens. This has been going on for about half a year or so. And she keeps telling me that she 'ended it' and she 'no longer has feelings for him' and 'this is the last time', but no. It never is, and it never will be. I really don't know what to do. I told her, 'fine. go ahead. do what you want. i give up. it's your life. you have to clean up the mess'. and she goes, 'okay, that's right. it IS my life.' That's what she says now, because nothing bad has happened. Ugh. This pisses me off.If she were 14 years old, i wouldn't give a shit. She's 23.
Sister is making a really dumb mistake.
Other than the sole-internet part; you pretty much just described my ex! She sounds stubborn as shit, and really, you can only let her do what she wants; you gave her all of your opinions, now the ball is in her court.
I'm afraid there probably is very little you can do. She's an adult and is allowed to make her own mistakes.