What is infidelity?

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I was a house party tonight and was kicked out about 2 hours ago by my friend. The reason she did this was because I was lying in a spare bed next to her bedroom, fully clothed, with a girl that I've known for years. We were talking all night and because the walls are thin, it was keeping my friend up.

While chatting with my friend before I left, she told me that she considered what I was doing to be cheating on my girlfriend. I do not agree with this at all and think that she's being ridiculous. It was myself and a girl in bed, yes. We were both fully clothed, absolutely no funny business at all. We spent the whole night talking because we've known each other for years but have never had a proper conversation. And we were lying in the bed because we were supposed to be sleeping and it was the only spare bed in the house. I tried sleeping on the floor but it was very uncomfortable and painful. We were doing nothing under or over the covers, the closest thing to touching was a hug when I dropped her home.

I was just wondering what your opinions on the matter are. What do you consider cheating? Is it sleeping in the same room with someone of the opposite sex (or same sex if applicable) or is it more? Where do you draw the line?

I don't think it was cheating as described, but I think it was unwise. You not only have to not be cheating, but you need to be seen to not be cheating. You may know you have done nothing wrong, but it is unwise to put yourself in a position where it will be assumed by others that you went further.

Originally Posted By: IneligibleI don't think it was cheating as described, but I think it was unwise. You not only have to not be cheating, but you need to be seen to not be cheating. You may know you have done nothing wrong, but it is unwise to put yourself in a position where it will be assumed by others that you went further. QFT

While I wouldnt define what you were doing with your friend as "cheating," I will admit that you did put yourself in a rather akward position and most women/ladies would lean towards the mentality that you could have cheated regaurdless of what you say did or did not happen between the two of you. I know I would personally become very upset if I found out my man had been alone in a room with another woman on a bed... its not that I dont trust him not to do something, its the fact that I dont know what was going on in her mind and lets face the facts, you both are human beings, and temptations can arise when you least expect it.

Well, to make matters worse, my friend called me today and told me that she found the girls bra on the floor beside the bed. I had no idea that she had taken it off or why she did so, possibly a sleeping comfort thing? But anyway, my friend now seems convinced that we were doing something. It also doesn't help that my friend knows that I've had a thing for this girl for years.Just a silly situation I've gotten myself into.

Oh wonderful, I'm now being accused by other friends that I did something with her. Brilliant!

I wouldn't consider it cheating.. but I know if my boyfriend heard about me doing that he would be less than impressed.If i heard about my boyfriend doing that I would probably freak the fuck out but forgive him eventually.Probably not the best decision but if your girlfriend trusts you then its okay.

not much to add to the comments already offered. Remember, perception is reality.Maybe, instead of asking "is this infidelity?" you should just ask "would this upset her?". You can have all the intellectual discussions about the details that you like but if you hurt your partner, they you've done something wrong.oh, and you should probably be proactive and warn her that she may hear some rumors.

I already told my girlfriend about it a few hours after it happened, she had no problem with it. She knows that I'm a more girl-friendly guy, the majority of my friends are girls. Its the same with her, she gets on with guys much better than with girls.

The problems would arise if my friends started talking about their assumptions to her, but they don't really mingle too often.

The annoying thing is that these friends are the girls that I can usually have conversations about this stuff with, they help me sort out my head and my thinking because my internal conversations never end well. But because they're certain that I did something, I can't get any help from them.

Infidelity... the betrail of intimate closeness can hurt like hell without sex ever entering the picture.