Well my parents have always fought though, arguing and things like that. But about a month ago when my dad went on his "vacation" to his home country(Colombia) like he does EVERY 6 months, he said he was going to stay 1 week, and then he ended up coming back 3 weeks later..I wasn't home when he came back but that night when i got home, my parents weren't sleeping together, my dad was sleeping in the living room. And i was a little sad i guess because they've fought before, but not as big that they don't sleep together anymore. Then about 3 days later there was a small party at my house with my mom and dads friends, and my mom got a little tipsy and after all the guests left that night, my mom and dad started fighting. My mom started it off by saying that if he had another women in Colombia to tell us right now in front me me and her, and he kept denying it. Then she was telling him that he goes every 6 months to Colombia, to do who knows what, and can barely even spend time with us(and its true). Then my dad was saying that he has "bussiness" over there and that without that we wouldnt even be living in the house were living because the job he has over here in the U.S doesn't pay enough, which worries me because i dont know what he means by bussiness. So it just ended up to my dad saing that he'll promise that hes going to spend more time with ME and that i should be more trusting in him blah, blah. But right now, my parents are still not sleeping together, but they still talk and everything. They haven't fought yet(not that i seen) but lately there are days that my dad doesnt come home at night, but comes home the next morning with like a hang over. This just makes me really sad, stressed and angry that this is happening, like now i talk to my parents with and attitude, i go out a lot more, and im doing bad in school. Its not really my fault though that there fighting, and its affecting me more than themselves, and i know i can't do anything about it..
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My parents are fighting..
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I can relate to this scenario, My parents fought while I was growing up, daily, and violently.The thin is you want to escape but you can't, so you either learn to internalize or externalize. Meaning, you either start taking out on others such as you treating your parents with attitude now, or you begin to keep things in more and your intellectual side comes into play.Sounds like your dad is up to something. Another reason I can relate to this story is because I'm from Venezuela which is next door to Colombia, and one thing I KNOW, is that you do not make more money in S. America unless you're involved in some fishy activities. I'm not saying your dad is, but he just might be lying about the amount of money he makes down there. It might be a front to do other things.I dont know how to help you beyond that. Always make sure you have facts before acusing anyone of anything and try not to get in the middle of your parents fights. WHat you do is talk to them about how you feel when they fight while they are NOT fighting.
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Sexpert's advice is knowledgeable and wise. I don't think it's possible to deduce from what you've said what your father is up to in Colombia. It's quite possible that he may be doing nothing at all, that for him Colombia may be an escape from a wife he doesn't like, a holiday from domestic chores and worries. He doesn't want to admit that he stayed so long because he couldn't face his responsibilities - he'd rather pretend he was smuggling cocaine than do that.Try to remember that it's not about you. It's two other people trying to live together and struggling with it. You can't help much except spending some time with each of them; but also spend time with your friends. I think that's important.
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Originally Posted By: IneligibleYou can't help much except spending some time with each of them; but also spend time with your friends. I think that's important. The thing is hes never really open for his family, he cares more about his job. I know hes the one that has to pay more bills and everything but hes never actually really spent time with us. He only spends time with us maybe once or twice a year, which is nothing. I always tell him that i want to go somewhere with him or why can't he take us somewhere to spend some family time, he always says he will but hes a big liar and never does..
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He's probably not lying in the sense that he really intends to do it when he says it, but things come up that he thinks he has to attend to first.
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Aww, sweetie, don't give up yet! I totally relate to your story. My dad had gone to the video store one night and then to the grocery store. He had gotten a couple of family movies, popcorn, pop, and a six pack for him. On the way home he had [without thinking] opened a beer to drink. [He doesn't get drunk easily] As he was driving home, he had run into a police check along the road to have his vehicle inspected for alchohol, and of course, they found the beer. He was immediately sent to jail for the night. He had called my mom and she had come and bailed him out. The next morning I found him awake, laying down on the couch with tears streaming down his face. He told me what happened and I was horrified. The next few days, I had to live with my mom calling him an "ASSHOLE!" as we pulled out of the driveway to take me and my little brother to school. [Believe me, she called him alot of other things than an "asshole"] What you can do is sit down with both of your parents and tell them how much they are hurting you and eachother. Tell them about how you feel, and things might be a little bit brighter at home. [I also reccomend talking to your dad alone about the situation and see if you can get anything out of him about his mysterious trips]
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" [I also reccomend talking to your dad alone about the situation and see if you can get anything out of him about his mysterious trips] "yeah, I would do this as well. It seems that this is the root problem, and perhaps may be nothing more than a misunderstanding or a a "cover-up" that is being blown completely out of proportion, making the situation worse. Try talking to him rationally about what he does, and not as if you're "on your mom's side" trying to figure out what he's doing.
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Thanks for the advice guys. But its going to be hard to talk to him like that since we never really had a close relationship..
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It really never too late to start. Sounds lika a cliche but it's true.