OK, So I have this girlfriend--amazing. I love her with all of my heart and SAY that I would do anything for her. I'm not so sure after what happened today. This probably isn't as dramatic as it seems up until this point. I just need some advice.Today, she and I, and 23 other people (Gifted and Talented) from our school went on a college campus tour and leadership conference. We had a great time on the bus rides and seeing each other; we haven't been seeing each other as much as we'd like, and we'll have seen each other every day this week. Anyway, there's an academy for high school students Juniors and Seniors on campus as a jump-start to college. I would really like to attend--I'd have to apply and get accepted, but that's not really the issue. My girlfriend, being a Junior already, cannot apply because it's a strictly current Sophomore (what I am) deal. My problem is that, if I get accepted, I'll have to miss her for two years--Junior and Senior years. Of course, whether I stayed at my current HS or attended there, I'd miss her for Senior year, but this way, it's an extra year I won't be able to see her. She tells me to go ahead--not to let her absence influence my decision to apply, but I'm not sure. I really would love to go--it's a great school and I would fit in with peers and do very well, but I would miss her the whole time; she doesn't want to attend the college at which this Academy is located, so I would have to wait until my HS graduation until I could transfer to the college she wants to attend.My main problem is that she wants to take a break if I am accepted. Not that we're not completely in love, but I know that it will be extremely hard on both of us to still be boyfriend/girlfriend but not to be able to see each other regularly; these two universities are an hour-and-a-half's drive apart. Also, if we were able to pull off waiting for each other--as I know would be extremely easy for me, as I can see us living our whole lives together--she's afraid it would be awkward just to pick up where we left off without knowing each other for two years and what happened in our lives for those two LONG years. The reason for this is that she doesn't really want to see each other during this time because she's really emotional and gets attached easily, so it would be hard to talk for two hours nightly on the phone as we do now, and not be focused on our missing each other too much. She also said that she doesn't really want to see each other, but if we must to survive, that she wouldn't really want to be alone (hug, make out) because it would be too emotionally pressing.So my problem is--do I risk my future relationship for a school? This school is great--free laptop, tuition/room-and-board paid-in-full, but I can get a Computer Engineering degree anywhere; I don't need this school, it's just appealing, yet not after discussing our not being able to see each other. I can totally see us together for eternity, but I'm sure she'll want a break in my Senior/her Freshman-college year anyway, for lack of being able to see each other; could I last just one more year and have both the High School and girl of my dreams?P.S. I'm not too worried about the space thing and staying ready for each other when that time comes (not sex--just not dating), but something she said and always says stroke me weirdly. She is always not future-oriented, "Just tomorrow, you don't know what forever holds," but I am exactly opposite...I know that I want to be with her FOREVER. So I'm sort of afraid that, as cuddly and emotional as she is, that, even just out of necessity, if she finds someone else to fill our time apart that she may grow too close and that I may lose her. Should I really worry about this, since I know she waited for me to like her back for a while? I mean, I know she loves me now--as much as a person can know from language--but I don't know that, in our time apart, she may grow away while I await her.
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Girlfriend dilemma
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Quote:She is always not future-oriented, "Just tomorrow, you don't know what forever holds,"...It seems to me she's being more realistic in this situation than you are.You may want to be with her forever, but life is not so simple. Things like these (college and other goals) will be a huge challenge on your relationship and is usually why many don't last. Not just because of distance, but you AND her will be meeting new people and doing different things. You or her can not control these variables.You shouldn't make choices for your future based on this one girl out of the many you'll come across in your new life. She will not be the last girl you'll love. And she seems to understand that, from what you said. She's expressed her feelings on this situation and it looks pretty clear that she wants to end this easy and clean.It'll be very unfair for the BOTH of you to stay "together" while being in two different schools for a long time, knowing how miserable you'll both be.I say go to the school you want to go to and let her go, so she can enjoy her future too.
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You should change your title from admin to "The guy who makes the most sense"OP:As hard as it would be; you would both have to remain loyal and pull through. Remember it wasn't all that long ago where a man would be at sea for weeks or months on end; or was off to war for years and they stayed loyal to each other (Obviously not 100% were...but you get what I'm saying)
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The only thing is...It isn't mandatory...until I apply. The question is do I apply and double the time we'd have to wait to be together?
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To add on to what Helms said... If you are meant to be together, you will end up together. Two years is nothing out of forever.
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Dude,I was in this situation last year.There is a school and hour ago away that is for juniors and seniors and you can only apply as a sophomore.It's highly credited and everything, and I chose not to go. BUT a friend of mine went. He comes down some weekends and hangs out with everyone..but its not the same. He has a lot of homework and he has made friends there. So he's not on the internet or the phone very much talking to us..he doesn't have time or opportunity.But no matter what he had to give up, he is learning a lot more than he would be here. I regret not taking my chance and going.So I say go..and if the girl really cares about you she'll still be there when you get back.
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I agree. I've had more girlfriends than I care to count, and all I can say is, I thought every single one was going to be 'the one' And every single one has turned out not to be it. You have PLENTY of time to worry about this, and when college comes around, you'll wish you were single just so you can play the game. Get an education, Like HelmsmaN said, statistically, she isn't it.