I'm basically just putting this on here because I need to tell someone and I don't want it to be anyone I know. Haha, yeah, a bit odd, but whatever. So anyways, I'm in the process of courting this woman, the only thing is, she's 32 with 2 children and I'm 22. Hence the reason why I haven't told anyone here, I'm just a bit nervous of what my family and friends might say. I know I shouldn't care, but I do. So anyways, I was wondering if anyone thought that to be weird, any part of this whole situation. Whether it be that I'm pursuing a woman 10 years my senior with 2 children, or that I'm not telling anyone I know. Again, this is pretty much so that I can get rid of this feeling that I need to inform someone of what I'm doing. I mean, eventually if things work out, I'm obviously going to tell people. Just for now, I really don't want to. And thanks in advance for your opinions, and possibly any advice on what I should do.
This is what AfraidtoAsk is here for, so don't think it's odd or anything.
First off, I'm assuming you live on your own? If so, then I see no reason why you'd have to tell anyone if you don't want too. If you're not comfortable telling anyone yet, just don't. It sounds like a good idea anyway, until you know for sure where this relationship is going (either down or up).
As for the age difference - that's something you'll have to decide. Is it outside the norm? Probably. Is it unheard of? Probably not.
Also, the two kids are something you'll have to think about. Can you handle (helping) to take care of two kids?
And if anyone finds your whole situation weird, don't worry about them. As long as you're happy, then that's all that matters.
Screw what other people think. When I was 18 & 19 I went out with 3 different women that were 9 to 20 years older than me (a couple of 'em were married though) and one had kids that were just a year younger than me.
I understand what your saying. It was a little weird around their friends or my friends but they got used to it. I took some shit and they took some shit, but as long as we were having fun it was worth it and really didn't matter (at least in retrospect). In the end all that matters is do you enjoy each others company and get along well together.
Keep one thing in mind, that StillSearching already mentioned, her kids. Remember if you become her "boyfriend", whether they're yours or not what you all do is going to have some impact on the kids and that may mean putting their welfare first in front of what you all want. That my be problem for you, it may not, just don't forget it.
Anyway I say fuck what other people think or say. It's your, her and her and her kids life and happiness that matters.
There is no punishment. There is no reward. There are only consequences.
i know this 21-year-old girl who's with this 31/32 guy and he has kids. also, my one other friend dated a divorced w/kid 31-year-old woman and he is 22. you could give it a try and not tell anyone at first to see how it goes. then if it goes well, maybe u should tell someone when that happens.
That's fine. I wouldn't try to take the role of father to her kids, I would just have fun with her temporarily.
Thanks for the advice everyone. This whole post definitely helped me out and I'm not really feeling the need to go and mention anything to anyone now. Much appreciated.