She can't orgasm during sex....

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Hello, I need some help. I have had sex with my girlfriend 12 times (I know because I went through 1 pack of condoms) and I haven't gotten her to orgasm once yet. We were both virgins before we had sex for the first time at the end of the summer. She was very tight and I am very large, so it really hurt her a lot the first few times, and by now, it still hurts her when I first go in, but then it stops hurting after a little bit. Before we had sex, and even now, she would never let me finger her because it just hurt too much and she could never get off by my fingering or rubbing her with my hands, anyway. I turn her on like none other, but she still can't get off by that and doesn't even want want me to try fingering her because she knows it won't work. I have fingered other girls, and I have never had a problem, but I do with her. We do this thing when we are making out and she is on top of me where I will be feeling up on her inner thighs and all on/around her vagina and clit to get her horny and eventually it will just turn into her "humping" my erect penis through both our pants. In this case, when she is already really turned on, she is so easy to get off in less than a minute of "humping". When we have sex, I feel so bad afterward when I can't get her to orgasm. I feel like I'm using her to get myself off, and it just hurts/is uncomfortable for her. We have tried her on top, but she doesn't like that because she gets tired. Also, I want to go down on her, but she feels weird about it. (any advice to this?) She wants to keep trying and assumes that if we have sex enough/often enough, it will eventually work. Of course I want to keep having sex, but I want it to be good for her, too. Maybe the problem is that I can't last long enough. Now that I am used to sex, I get myself off faster that I used to. Sometimes i am really quick, but sometimes I last a while. However, every time, she doesn't even think that it would have necessarily worked if I had lasted longer. (while I'm at it, any tips for lasting longer in bed?)Thanks,soccersmitty55

Overall, it looks pretty obvious that your girlfriend is really uncomfortable with having sex. It doesn't seem like she's even ready for it. She's uncomforable with you fingering her and going down there.You will never, ever make her orgasm if SHE doesn't relax WAY more. And having more sex isn't going to really work, unless something changes.Sex isn't just physical. Half of it is mental. She needs to learn how to relax and find out what really turns her on. The best way is for her to masturbate alone.

Orgasm comes with time and maturity. I started having sex when I was 17 and I did not orgasm until I was 36...Hopefully it won't take her that long, but it does take time and relaxation and maturity.

Originally Posted By: Virtual_Staryour girlfriend is really uncomfortable with having sex. It doesn't seem like she's even ready for it. She's uncomforable with you fingering her and going down there.  Originally Posted By: dlvryrnOrgasm comes with time and maturity.Neither of these are the problem. We have been going out for almost a year, we are 18, we really love each other, and I believe that we are both very mature for our age. Also, we are both extremely physically comfortable with each other. I was in a hurry when I wrote the first post, and when I reread it, it doesn't sound like she is ready for sex, but that is not the case. It isn't that she is uncomfortable with me fingering her down there, it is that her vagina is so sensitive that it hurts to be fingered. She has never had good luck with anyone fingering her, so she doesn't really want me to bother trying. Sure, I rub it and stuff for foreplay, and that drives her crazy, but I never rub it to the point of a climax. That is when we do the "Humping thing." She is on top of me, we both have our clothes on, (preferably thin ones) and while we are making out, she grinds her vagina on my penis in a sex-like motion, resulting in her orgasming. She loves it. But anyway... She is ready for sex. When I said that she was uncomfortable with my going down on her, what I meant was, she just thought it was a sort of weird/gross concept for someone to do that with their mouth. I feel the same way about giving head. I don't want to do that, and I think its gross. I explained this analogy to her, and now she changed her mind and she wants me to go down on her.I'm just wondering if there are any techniques, positions, or other tips that could help her reach a climax during sex. We tried her on top, but she didn't like that because it just seemed like a lot of work, and we tried "her pleasure" condoms, but that didn't make a difference, either. Do any of those special condoms help?Thanks!

Quote:...resulting in her orgasming.Huh?? If she can orgasm through dry sex, then what's the problem? Perhaps she's one of those girls who orgasm through stimulation rather than straight sex (which is more common).If she CAN orgasm in some way, why are you trying to overdo it? You do know that most women don't climax through sex alone, right?Well, I don't know what you can do DURING sex if she doesn't like being touched. Have you tried toys?  Quote: I feel the same way about giving head. I don't want to do that, and I think its gross.I SERIOUSLY hope she isn't giving you oral sex, because that would be pretty fucked up if she is. Quote:Do any of those special condoms help?Those condoms don't do shit. They're a waste of money. Quote:Neither of these are the problem. We have been going out for almost a year, we are 18, we really love each other, and I believe that we are both very mature for our age. You misunderstood the "maturity" comment. dlvryrn meant that learning to pleasure each other takes TIME. It can take weeks, months, or even YEARS for a woman to finally orgasm. You mature as a couple. It had nothing to do with your ages.Now do you understand?

Originally Posted By: Virtual_Star  Quote:...resulting in her orgasming.Huh?? If she can orgasm through dry sex, then what's the problem... If she CAN orgasm in some way, why are you trying to overdo it? The problem is the dry sex is not the same as intercourse, and aspiring to have good sexual intercourse is not "overdoing it." Sure, dry sex is good, but why should we settle for that when intercourse can be much better? if she doesn't like being touched... It's not that she doesn't like being touched. She loves when I touch her and play with her down there as foreplay, but she doesn't like me solely masturbate her to an orgasm. This, from what I can gather, is due to previous bad experiences with other partners in which it didn't really feel good, and she thinks its pointless. I have a similar problem with handjobs. I can masturbate myself better than pretty much anyone else could ever do because I know what feels good for me. Its the same with her. She gets turned on, but ultimately, She knows exactly what to do with her fingers to get herself off, and I could never do as good of a job with my fingers as she could with hers.  Quote: I feel the same way about giving head. I don't want to do that, and I think its gross.I SERIOUSLY hope she isn't giving you oral sex, because that would be pretty fucked up if she is.What is fucked up about this? I am saying that I would not want to give some dude head. I think that that would be gross. However, she likes making me happy and she doesn't think that it gross, so she gives me head. Likewise, she thinks that giving a girl oral sex would be gross. I don't, and I would do it for her because I like pleasing her just as much as I like to be being pleased. However, because she thinks that it sounds gross to give a girl oral sex, she couldn't get past that if I were to give her oral sex, and she doesn't want me to go down on her. There is nothing fucked up about her pleasing me because she loves me. I please her in other ways, and I would do anything for her to make her happy. Quote:Do any of those special condoms help?Those condoms don't do shit. They're a waste of money.Thanks, I agree. I tried a few different types and didn't notice anything different.We had sex today, and she said that it started feeling good towards the end before I came. Are there any techniques to make me last longer? Are there any "beginner" positions that would feel particularity are good for the girl? She thinks that eventually, (as others posted, "as we mature") she will be able to orgasm, and I agree.Thanks!

In general, guys last longer in girl-on-top positions. Girl-on-top gives the girl the control, which helps her get more pleasure.

Quote:What is fucked up about this? I am saying that I would not want to give some dude head. Keyword is dude. Since you didn't mention yourself going down on a guy, I assumed you were talking about her.Sorry about that.

The only way I come while having intercourse is when I lay on my stomache and hold my feet crossed.

I WILL say that I am a squirter, and it makes the bed hell of wet, so we sleep on one half (if to the side of the bed) or far apart if in the middle.

Maturity, and trust is the only way your gonna get her to come on a regular day...

It took YEARS for me to figure it out with a guy, and to trust in telling him how.

I had a girl who needed to assume that pose to get off too.

Hand, Hand, Fingers, Tongue...Works every time!

I don't understand what you mean when you say you lay on your stomach and have your feet crossed. Is your partner on top or bottom? How can you have sex if your feet are crossed?

Try more foreplay and new positions. It is also sometimes just hard for a girl to reach orgasm during sex if she is too nervous, which is an all too common case.