Hi Guys!! I've met a lot of married couples. What makes me cringe more than anything else is when the female [of that couple] is the one 'wearing the pants'. [so to speak] HE is just a 'worm with sperm'. There is nothing more pathetic than a man who gives up his rightful position as 'head of the house'. Some may find that offensive - but the man IS the 'head of house'. That's not to imply that HE is of more value than SHE - it's just a matter of fact. The 'politically correct' among us may think that's a horrible thing to say. But that's only because most of the men they have seen in their lives have failed to BE 'men'. I've talked to many women in my life. You would be surprised [perhaps] by how many of THEM agree with ME. They will often complain about how their husband/boyfriend continuously FAILS to live up to HIS responsibilities. "I have to do everything - he just sits there like a lump." OR "We were having problems with our neighbours and HE refused to DO anything about it - so I had too." I believe that many relationship problems could be [and would be] resolved if both the man and the women would stop trying to become more like each other. In other words - live up to their respective responsiblities in that relationship. But truth be told - the man [generally speaking] tries to become 'nothing' - while the woman is forced to take on more of HIS responsibilites. No wonder so many women are frustrated. And why wouldn't they be? It's tough enough trying to live up to your end of the [relationship] bargain - without having to assume someone else's. Ever wonder why so many 'nice girls' are attracted to brutes?! It's because they WANT a guy to BE a guy. And for most girls - a real guy is someone who is strong and fair and willing to 'be there' IF and when the couple is threatened. [by one thing or another] That is the guys responsiblity. [or at least one of them] The last thing she wants is to be married to some spineless little twit. Just something for you to think about. GREAT BIG HUGCraig!!
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A worm with sperm
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good point! tbh i always thought that way of thinking to be regressive but i can kinda understand it in the way you put it. but then again, how many girls (and guys- i do it to mine ) complain about problems that arnt really there and expect them to be fixed, then complain some more when nothing happens?and then if there guy did get some balls and became more dominant, the ladies would probably then complain about being oppressed! sigh (i know i would )
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Craig - While I couldn't agree with you more, there are girls out there who are fully capable of taking care of themselves because they've been doing it. They pay their own bills, have their own job...they can do most things for themselves. I am one such person. I don't need a guy to be the "man of the house" though I would prefer it. I can change my own oil, fill my truck up with gas and do most of the tune up maintnence. I pay my own bills. I keep my house clean. I take care of myself. And not only that I'm fully capable of defending myself physicall against anyone. I'm also aware of how to do home-improvement projects with saws and drills, etc. I can do the maintnence on the interior and exterior of my home. You see I don't really need a guy around to be the "man of the house." But one does need companionship and a partner. We have a saying in my house....Dad wears the pants, but Mom tells him how to wear them. I almost think that's true of ANY dating or married relationship. She says jump and he says, "how high?" I'm all for a guy wearing the pants but he's not taking over me in the process. I think that's where a lot of guys go wrong. They think that because of all the feminine movements etc. that they are no longer allowed to voice themselves in the relationship and that's not true. So you're right...but you have to take into consideration people like me who don't need a guy around but the one that IS around those women love them just the same even though they're really not needed for physical labor like mowing the lawn they're still needed. I don't know if that made sense...I'll try to explain myself later though..I'm late getting back to work.
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LMAO I’m saying nothing cuz if I do I’m soooooooooo going to get jumped on LMAO
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Come on Diver!! I've got my jumping-on shoes all ready to go!!
GREAT BIG HUG
Craig!! :smile: -
Hi MoomiJubalub!! :smile:
In reply to:
...how many girls (and guys- i do it to mine ) complain about problems that arnt really there and expect them to be fixed, then complain some more when nothing happens?
It's quite common for people to project their OWN problems onto someone else. So you're absolutely right when you say that some people complain about problems that aren't really there. [or at least - have absolutely nothing to do with the OTHER person] We all have baggage and often make the mistake of believing that IF someone 'really' loved us - then they would help us carry our bags. [so to speak] That rarely happens. Not because the other person is insensitive - but because he or she has already got enough of their own 'stuff' to deal with. 'Love' doesn't mean - 'I will be miserable with you'.
In reply to:
....and then if their guy did get some balls and became more dominant, the ladies would probably complain about being oppressed! *sigh* (i know i would
That's exactly why I always strongly suggest that people WAIT before getting involved in a serious relationship. [especially something as serious as marriage] If a person goes into a relationship one way - and then changes - it's going to change the dynamics OF that relationship. Sometimes - the relationship can't survive such a change. 'Change' is often a painful process. But it's at the root of becoming a mature person. With any luck - both people in the 'relationship' will allow for at least some 'change'. If they don't [or won't] then the relationship is already doomed.
GREAT BIG HUG
Craig!! :smile: -
Hi albeitmyself!! :smile:
The sad thing is - 'man' [generally speaking] really blew it. He failed to live up to HIS responsibilites. By doing so - 'it' forced women [again - I'm generalizing] to create the so-called 'feminist movement'. [and understandably so] The trouble is [as with most 'movements'] the ball swung too far. Women - in a bid for more power - became willing to belittle their OWN importance. Suddenly 'motherhood' was almost shameful. Stay at home 'moms' were often ridiculed and accused of being anti-feminist. [not 'real women' - in other words - so far as many feminists were concerned] It also often became silly. Creating non-sensical 'causes' in the name OF the 'cause'. It became a war of words - instead of a genuine attempt to change a 'wrong' into a 'right'. [in other words - to encourage men to become men] Men and women DO have 'roles'. Both of us have responsibilities and neither of those responsibilities is more important than the other. "The hand the rocks the cradle - rules the world." What could be more important than that? People are feeling lost. And no wonder. The paths to follow are all but gone - lost in a sea of identity confusion. Most of us - these days - have been mislead. We have been told one thing - and yet have witnessed another. How many people actually live up to the new 'rules'? Very few. So we often end up feeling ashamed for doing exactly what comes naturally to us. And isn't THAT the real shame.
GREAT BIG HUG
Craig!! :smile: -
Hi cenfath!! I understand exactly what you're saying. Here I am - a 40 year old male [will be 41 on the 27th!!] and have lived alone ALL of my adult life. I don't NEED anyone for anything. I can do [and have done] everything myself. [cook, clean, pay the bills, etc., etc.] That said - I didn't mean to imply anything specific - insofar as what 'chores' [so to speak] would be considered masculine or feminine. I think each couple can figure that out for themselves. What I'm referring to has more to do with how the couple responds to each other. [and how they respond to the world around them] If you had a 'man' in your life - I think it would be 'ideal' if HE [for instance] was in charge [for lack of a better word] of anything that threatened both of you AS a couple. The female in a male/female relationship should back off IF the 'couple' is threatened [in any way] and allow the male to respond. [even IF she is more than capable of dealing with the threat - herself] I say that - because the world responds better to a male in a defensive role. And because of that - the female would do what's best FOR the 'couple' - and allow HIM to take on that responsibility. [am I making any sense at all?! lol] Why oh why do I post messages at 3 am!! I'm sure you can recall times when a male took a stand and was not looked down upon for doing so - but when a female did exactly the same thing - she was dismissed as a 'bitch'. [as unfair as that may be] Oh oh... it's finally happened. I've gone blank!! lol If I can think of more to say - I'll post another message!! Thanks for responding.GREAT BIG HUGCraig!!
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In reply to:It's quite common for people to project their OWN problems onto someone else Arnt you projecting things in your life onto other peoples lives just as i am? except with ideals instead of problems? not that theres much of a difference between the two (a lot of problems stem from peoples ideals, or this thread would consist of your first post and nothing else, with no-one putting their point forward).what do you think of couples who adhere to having the men at home playing out a 'womans role', being the so called worm with the sperm, and women who go out to work to pay the bills? what are those women called then? 'the butch with the breasts?'just curious on the last point.p.s thanks for posting about this, its really making me think
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lol, agreed
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Hi no1sexpotinusa!! The fact that your mother was stupid enough to marry TWO losers in a row - doesn't make MY point 'stupid' OR 'sexist' And when it comes to a women being married to a man who "absolutely refuses to take responsiblity" - there is a solution to that. It's called DIVORCE. GREAT BIG HUGCraig!!
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You should have created a NEW topic for what you are talking about - because it has little to do with the original point I was making. The 'topic' was not about single parent families OR what it's like to grow up struggling to survive. GREAT BIG HUGCraig!!
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i 'wear the pants' in my relationship. and i like it, very much so. i prefer being in control and making decisions for 'us'.
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In reply to:Btw I never agreed with Craig on this, he's a dipshit.
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isnt that the truth?i dont think it should be a set way of who runs the relationship, it depends on each individual person. i know plenty of men who prefer 'wearing the pants', but i also know plenty of women. so in the end, it should be up to the couple and their personalities, right?
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whatever works for them they should be glad to do it.
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I might have read it wrong, but it didn't sound like craig was badmouthing single parents, just couples where the man isn't willing to take on his traditional resposibilities. It is not hard and fast, but in general men are better leaders, have better heads for math, etc. And women are generally better with children, cooking, and managing a household (actually, few men I know are up to the challenge a household represents) Now, if one aspect of this isn't his/her particular "thing", and the other enjoys it (i.e. a man cooking), then let them have at it.And from a spiritual viewpoint, the man is meant to be not necessarily the "head of the house" but the "spiritual leader."
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men are better leaders and better in math? i would highly disagree with that, nobody can say who is better at what, that holds no truth
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Craig, I totally understand where you're coming from but the thing is like I said before, I'm so used to not depending on anyone else (except for maybe mommy and daddy) that I would have a very hard time relying on anyone other than myself. I don't see a problem with a man staying at home and a woman working to support her family. With the field I'm getting into I don't think there would be a need for him to work unless he wanted to. I mean once I get my BSN I'm going to medical school to become an oncologist. And I wouldn't want a stranger watching my children and in the same respect I wouldn't want my husband earning 30,000 a year when I would be making almost 4x that. I know men have this thing about the women working and the men staying at home but I've met several men who are married, have kids, and are stay at home dads. Women have done it for years...I kinda think it's the man's turn for a while. I know that doesn't make any sense whatsoever but my thing is, I don't want to marry someone or be with someone who's going to try to tell me what to wear, or how and when to wear what. I wasn't created for that. And any man who thinks he's going to tame this wild horse has another thing coming. I've acted in plenty of situations where I was considered a bitch for defending myself and it doesn't really bother me. I've become quite fond of that nickname. It's better than some of the others I've heard my friends called.
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In reply to: LMAO I’m saying nothing cuz if I do I’m soooooooooo going to get jumped on LMAO tell me tell me tell meee