Hmm.... where to begin. Well I guess I better tell you a little about my teenage years before I tell you my current "situation" on life... I was an overweight slob for my entire teenage life, until now. From 5th grade to graduation, my entire sociality was poised simply by the way I looked.I had a few aquaintances growing up, nothing out of the ordinary. All guy friends of course, and now that I look back, the only reason we were part-time friends, was because we all hated school, and bitched about homework and teachers every day, which in turn brought all of us together to form a friendship. I guess something good came out of school after all.So, I was overweight for 8 long years of my life, and unfortunately for me, it was the most crucial time of my life as far as social development is concerned, my teen years.I hated myself. I still hate things about myself. But instead of cry to myself, or other people, or bitch/complain and act like all hope was lost, I did something about it. We can change people, physically and emotionally, we just have to want to change, it's mind over matter, and our attitudes. This is a big problem in todays world that I will talk about later.So i'm 18 now, and after all those talks with your friends as we grew up in our teen years of "getting a hot chick" and "getting laid", well... it's all happened to mostly everyone that I know now. As for me... well i'm the exact opposite, a paradox if you will, of everyone and everything around me that I know. I have yet to even experience the simple bliss and simplicity of holding a partners hand, or a first kiss, or anything "first" for that matter in terms of a relationship.I can accept this however, because as mentioned earlier, I was fat for my teenage life. I hated it, I hated myself, and the past 3 years have been torture, but after the war with myself, I have finally won. I lost about 45 lbs of fat. I did this by going to the gym every single day, because there is no easy way out of losing weight. We need to stop being lazy if we want to lose weight.I was fat for my teenage life, and therefore didn't get any intimate relationship. I was fat for my teenage life, and therefore didn't deserve a relationship is better. I stick to my principles and my standards, and unfortunately I am beginning to think that living by my principles, which basically means being yourself, and not being fake, means that I will be a lonely human being, probably for the rest of my life. Are some people just destined to be a virgin-a lonely person, for the rest of their lives, no matter how hard they try?It's selfish to ask for a hot girl to have sex with and lose my virginity, it's very selfish. Im not saying one night stands are selfish, since it's mutual, but just the general thinking of "wow this girl is so damn hot.. i would do ANYTHING to have one night with her..".However, we must all remember that every single guy thinks like this, it's that one half of our brain that we can't control sometimes.So... 18 long years of my life has passed, and I have been lonely up until this very day. I have made a small group of very good, true friends that I will have forever, and I cherish them a lot.I told a girl recently about my feelings for her, this was the first time I have ever done this to a girl. I had strong feelings for her, and wanted to be more than a friend to her. I found out that she had feelings for me to... but(Ah yes... that one conjunction word that plagues my very existance... "They like you... BUT") she just wanted to remain friends.That's the best I could do folks. I dont look bad, in fact, most people say I look pretty good, im funny, love making people laugh, and am very good at it too. I have principles and standards, i'm not a fake guy. I like strawberry ice-cream. And the best I could do was... "BUT.... let's just be friends". Yay. Another friend to add to my arsenal.Relationships-to-friends ratio:0:~50So I ask myself the same question a lot lately.. "Am I really that bad? Will things get better?" I leave for Chico University in exactly 8 months... and I am starting to think that I will leave Hawaii with no experience at all in terms of girls and relationships, which will fuck me over in college. Girls like older guys and guys with experience after all, right?Am I doing something wrong? Did I divide by zero? Will things get better? I'm not shy, I'm not fake. Im starting to believe that this world is so fucked up now days that fake is beginning to be the reality, and i'm starting to be fake. I cant be the only one who thinks like this.I cant find anyone who is in the "same boat" as me, that is, a very lonely person like me who has absolutely no experience in relationships or the opposite sex, no one that I know is in the same boat as I am, male or female. And yet for some reason, they always come to me for relationship "advice". I dont want to be a cuddle bitch.So... onto the question, A2A:If you were me, described by everything that I just wrote here, what would you do? How would you start? What advice can you give me? Id like real advice please, dont try to "say it in a nice way", be real, not fake.Appendix-Im an 18 year old straight male-Im lonelyLet the responses begin.edit Did I mention this is pretty long? Not long to me.. but long compared to most topics here.
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My "lack there-of" relationships, Story of my life
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Im starting to believe that this world is so fucked up now daysWhat's fucked up is that you have to fuck different people to be accepted, or cool, or anything like that. That's pretty fucked up in my eyes, but that's how the world is today.> If you were me, described by everything that I just wrote here, what would you do?I'll tell you what I personally would do, but you probably won't agree: I'm in the same boat as you. But I don't have this need to have to get laid. I'm not even looking for a relationship, simply because I don't want one.> How would you start?Once you leave Hawaii and go to college you'll be able to meet a lot of chicks that aren't as immature as the high school chicks (and of course you'll still meet a lot of immature chicks). High School is a very bad place to be in these days, because of all the peer pressure and everyone trying to "fit in" and all that. It'll get better after High School.
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Same boat as me? You've had a girlfriend already if I remember correctly.editNow that I think about it, It doesnt matter, because I wasnt looking for someone in the same boat as me, as they wouldn't be able to give me any real advice.I guess im just mad/sad/lonely and pissed that I am leaving this island with NO intimate experience AT ALL, zip, nada. And im not even that bad of a person.Assholes, fake people, druggies, hideous people (no offense), and even a select hand few of animals have gotten more intimate then I have, and maybe more then I ever will have.I JUST FUCKING HATE BEING LONELY.
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Same boat as me? You've had a girlfriend already if I remember correctly.I did, but I never did anything with her. I think I held her hand once, and that's it.> as they wouldn't be able to give me any real advice.Alright, sorry I tried to help.
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Hello, I thought I would register just to say I'm sort of like you, except I am 20 years old. I have never had a girlfriend. I've never done anything with a girl.This is because I've been homeschooled and deprived of all social situations growing up. I haven't even had a friend. I cannot describe to you how lonely it has been. Most people don't understand. They say "just put yourself out there." But it's not that easy since I have gotten used to this routine. I feel like all these years of lonliness have distorted my views. I'm going to put forth an effort to change my ways/life soon. I can't possibly keep going on like this because as of now life is meaningless to me. I just want you to know you're not alone...Some people have it worse than you. Atleast we can live in our own heads. Be anyone we want to be...You losing weight and making friends is a big step. You have things going for you.