I am seventeen years old and I havent found myself yet. Its weird because I want to do film. I'm sure of it. and I love going to see film and I love making films when I can. But the problem is I dont know who I really am. I feel like the day I moved from New York to Pennsylvania ruined me. I moved in Middle school I finished sixth grade but when I moved I had to go back to sixth grade. I always felt mentally older than all the kids I was friends with so I kinda grew faster than them but in order to fit in I had to force myslef to act and think younger.
I feel like I sort of missed something that I would have found back in New York but now that its too late I cant ever again know what that was. So now whenever I go to see a movie I like. I read up on the film maker and find a little niche in his background that I think has a connection to who I would have been so I try to be like that film maker. but then my family and friends know me as something else and I just dont now what to do.
What I really want to do is either erase my mind(that's only in scifi movies), just go somewhere and live by myself, or the other option (which not always but sometimes seems like the only way out.
If you dont understand this well post questions of what I mean and I'll try to make it less confusing