How can i boost my self-confidence and my self-esteem? I know im not a bad looking guy and i have a great personality, people tell me this. But i am little shy and i have a low self-esteem and self-confidence. Sometimes i can feel really good about myself, but often times i feel sad and almost depressed(i wouldn't call it that though). Since i was young i was made fun of my height because i was really short, im not that short anymore, but that really affected my self-esteem. I sometimes have trouble talking even with my friends, sometimes i kind of avoid them in the hallways i don't know why, and these are usually the days when i don't feel good about myself. I also care a lot about how i look and what people think of me, i just can't help it. I just want to know what i can do to always feel good about myself, not just some days, and to just be a happier person in general.
Boosting my self-confidence and my self-esteem?
Hey - Im sorry I dont have any words of advice but...
Im basically in the same boat as you. I am constantly told that I am good looking, dress well, am very personable etc. yet I still have hardly any self-confidence when it comes to the social world. I, too was and to a certain degree still am scrutinized about my physical appearance for being "skinny" (6'0, 140lb), which I think most people dont realize has a negative connotation (unless directed at a female, I guess). One thing I do though which DOES boost my self-esteem is play guitar. I have become very good over the course of several years of playing and it reminds me that I have a talent that most people envy. Then I think about all the virtuoso guitarists out there and I start to feel bad again... lol but seriously, even if it is a momentary boost of esteem, ill take what i can get.
do you have any hobbies or talents? well, i dunno that just works for me.
oh yeah and the "caring about what other people think"... yeah... i hear that. i used keep my friends outside my apt while i cleaned it up before they could come in, spend literally like 5 minutes (longer than it sounds) fixing my hair before i leave... shit like that you get the idea. i hear you
Well im really good at photography and i like it but im really not that kind of guy who you see walking around with a nikon d40 around his neck, its not really me. And so i get sort of embarassed of that. Idk its weird to explain it.
Yeah and same with me when friends come over, i wouldn't be able for them to come over with me in my sleepin shorts or something.
i hear that but then again i dont walk around with my guitar! know what i mean?
my take on life has always been this - there can be no progress without risk. no pain no gain.
i mean, do you expect there to be something you can just "do" that will boost your confidence and esteem? as far as i know there is no such thing. besides maybe anti depressants which I have just begun taking today. now i am not classically depressed, but i have had the notion of depression in a similar sense in what you have described. i started to take them more for the treatment of panic attacks. anyways, the best thing to do is find something you like and can be or are good at and just roll with that. that could lead to someone else recognizing the greatness of your work or you simply being satisfied with yourself.
heh, I had to check your name to see if this wasn't something I posted a few years ago :p
I don't know what to tell you. There is no magic solution to this. It's really all in you, how you feel or want to feel. Really there's no reason to have low self esteem. Think about it here. You're the only one who can feed yourself, dress yourself, get out of bed, speak, day dream, think, etc. You're the only one who can control how you feel, and if you feel bad about yourself, it's because you let yourself.
If you want to feel better about yourself, and you insist on relying on other people's useless opinions, then surround yourself with people who think you are "the shiznet".
However, I would recommend you just learn to like yourself. It's really the only thing.
I also now how you feel, except i am 6"3 and "lanky" as people remind me. Yet, i dunno, i think you have to except that's you? And if you look at some of the male icons out there who are small, there are alot. And it's a pain and an ass being a whole foot above most other girls.
Boosting your self-esteem is really down to you, and whether you have the ability to value yourself. I would be surprised if they were your friends if you avoid them so frequently. Could it be the reason for your low self-esteem was because of their view on your physical appearance? What i found boosted my self-esteem was being around and meeting girls. At my school, and i know this may be different for others, being with (hanging out with) a girl is not a problem, and you aren't classed as flirting with them, and if this is the case with your school, the best thing you can do is be around girls, not the gay best friend, but as a friend because if you have alot of female friends who value you as a friend it will boost your confidence no end.
"What was I comparing this universe with when I called it unjust?"