Ah! forgive me for i have done something terrible!

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WEll 1st off let me thank every1 on this forum!!ESPECIALLY Virtual_Star!!! your advice i took to heart and your always soo sweet and nice in your reply's!Well 1st let me update my situation with the girl that cheated on me....after she cheated on me, we talked she told me that she still loved me she was "confused" did not want to be with the other guy and wanted time and space....so i said ok....Come 3 weeks later now..yesterday i found out she is in fact now dating..the very guy she cheated on me with..she even told her friends he was her new "BF"....haha! OMGF was i decieved huh? lol seriously this girl is a "bitch" and i have decided to DELETE her from my life...damn girl didnt have the freaking respect to end it properly...even lied to me told me she was with no1 haha!! omg so i deleted her from my phone and everything...i deserve better.Ugh here comes the shitty part.....part i did something terrible. SO a few days ago after i found out she decided to lie to me and he is her new bf i was mad ..i went out and drank...party lol u know?? went wild! cause im only 19 still young. I work at the bank, a girl who came to our branch to help out from another bank, because ours was understaffed came over, we talked and i asked her to movies as friends. We went to movies, but i ended up not really calling her after that cause i really wasnt that interested...well 2 days later i was drinking at my place with some friends i get a text from her she says "hi"....Im drunk idk why i texted this but i said..."Hey wanna hook up?" She says (very much to my surprise) "Sure...come pick me up"...mind you i wasnt even into this girl...i was just still hurt over my ex...so i was like FUCK it ok, no big deal right? she wants to have sex i wanna have sex...we are both intoxicated...SO my friend drives me to her place we pick her up and he drops us both off at my place, we go inside and i take 2 more shots of vodka...cause i really didnt wanna remember having sex with this girl..i thought sex might make me feel better ...and she was the one who said ok, we can have sex...we both over 18 so yah why not right?? well we end up having sex...i dont remember any of it really..except i didnt enjoy myself..cause really the only time i truly wanna have sex is with some1 i care about...but i though who cares about that right?? i mean all i get is screwed over so might as well hook up....VERY VERY wrong....next day i wake up..very very very awkward..i take her straight home...no breakfast or anything..it just felt wrong...I came home after i droped her off..sat on my bed and cried (i know im a freaking pussy huh? what kinda man gets poon...and regrets it?) Im feeling like shit...im not this type of person...i wasnt raised to be like this...damn it!!! so i vow to never do something like that again...Well 2 nights later im at a house party with some friends and i get a text from her phone saying " hey this is jessica, ambers friend( amber is the girl i hooked up with), well since your a big part of Ambers life now, i wanna see a pic of you".....I think to myself a big part of her life??? WTF??? ahh what is going on....i wanna get away from this girl it was just a 1 night fling. SO i ignore the text and continue to party have a good night...later on that night me all my friends are pretty messed up we had a great night, i get a call from her...she is drunk. WE talk ...i asked what she means im a "BIG" part of her life?( im thinking to myself, this girl better not be preg, or have an std...cause ima freaking kill myself, so i aske her if she was preg or had std's) she tells me something VERY VERY VERY disturbing....she tells me she cant have childeren...i was like huh? she tells me...she was raped....by a black man and that it caused her to have a sist? cist? idk how to spell it...but she had one of those and it burst and somehow it damaged her and she cant have kids anymore....My heart fucking drops im completly sobber now...i didnt know what the hell to say...i was just like omg...what the fuck have i done??? how did my 1st hook up...manage to be with a girl like this??? ahh i feel like the worst person in the world!!!I am sooo sorry for this!!! i didnt know a hook up could be like this!!! ahhh ;( i just wanna curl up in a ball and get kicked ..i must be the lowest scum on this earth. I was soo wrong of me to do have sex with her...had i know i would have never touched her... ! AM i a terrible person ? damn it im sorry..ALso it was very wrong of me to think sex make me feel better and get over my ex...i still love her so much...but if she is going to continue to lie to me and now be with him..only 3 weeks later..when she told me she needed to do "finding myself time alone" she obviously has no respect for me right?? ahh i need to move on.an i know im a jerk..and idiot...about what happened with the whole hook up thing..damn it

I'm not sure if I missed something here - but what exactly did you do that was bad?She wanted to bonk, you sorta wanted to bonk...so you did. So what?You'd be surprised how many girls have histories of sexual abuse in their pasts. Something like 80% of the girls I've had relationships with have.I don't get where the whole guilt thing comes in...unless you missed saying that she'd fallen in love with you or something, or that she's really into you. I dunno cos you never mentioned anything like that.Plus, this Amber girl who said all that "big part of her life" crap. You DO know girls are walking gossip factories, right?So this girl that you boinked was probably saying "yeah so I hooked up with some guy last night, it was pretty good" and this Amber girl takes that to mean "OMG SHE HAS A NEW MAN I MUST TELL THE WORLD EVERYTHING". Don't take it so literally.Don't feel bad cos you had sex with a girl who has a history of abuse in the past (incidentally, why did you specify that she was raped by a black man? is that relevant somehow?).Are you even slightly interested in this girl? To be honest she sounds like she might be a much more pleasant girl than the evil piece of work you were with previously. Maybe it's worth actually trying to get to know her?I know it takes time to get over an ex, but you could be onto a good thing here. Don't waste it!

So on that first paragraph... you basically ignored the whole "stay away, don't talk to her" suggestions we gave you? Nothing wrong with that, but you were also told that it probably wouldn't work out and that it's over. Well, now you know.It's normal for you to miss her and claim to still be in love with her, but don't get so worked up about her. So she has a new boyfriend. Great. You don't care about her, remember?Like sadbuttrue said, I'm confused on what you did that was so bad. The only scenario I see where you might feel bad about it is if you thought you somehow took advantage of Amber (because she'd been raped or something). I don't know, you'll have to explain that one more time.As for the reason WHY you hooked up... was it just because you missed that other bitch that cheated on you? Again, you will get over her. Remember how I said you might as well forget about the other girl since it wouldn't work out? Turns out it was true. Believe me when I say you will get over this as well.Going out and partying and drinking is the WRONG way to try to get over her. You're actually making it worse for yourself. You know you're out there getting fucked up because of this other girl, which does not help you get over her any faster. It just makes you think about her more.If you're really not into Amber, just tell her. Tell her it was just a one night thing, you were both drunk, and that you don't want to start a relationship with her.Anyway, that's enough for me now. Basically, don't go out partying because you think it will make you forget about the other girl. Go party, but do it because you want to have fun, not because of some other girl you don't care about.

Honestly, you didn't really do anything wrong.If she didn't want to hook up with you.. she wouldnt have told you to pick her up. It's not like she was a virgin and she went way to far in my opinion to tell you about her cyst and being raped. I would NEVER say that to someone I didn't really know that well.Honestly, getting over someone is hard. I feel ya. I did the EXACT same thing. Found someone ASAP.. Slept with them.. dated them for awhile and then was like WTF am I doing!?The best advice I can give you is apologize to this girl... tell her the truth that you just got out of a relationship and arent looking for a serious relationship. And then take some time to focus on yourself.. you don't really sound like you're happy.. take some time to make yourself happy and to really focus on making some "Me-time"

Quote:ESPECIALLY Virtual_Star!!! your advice i took to heart and your always soo sweet and nice in your reply's! Sweet? Nice? Uh oh, you're not going to like this reply.When it comes to one night stands, you did nothing wrong. However, everything else in between you fucked up. When people have a hard time over a breakup from a long term relationship, they will do what they feel is best for them to get over it. That bad part of that is they usually do something stupid because they are emotionally unstable and their rational thinking goes out the door.Like I said earlier, one night stands are fine, if you establish the ground rules with the other person, like no strings attached or whatever. That's where you screwed up. And to add fuel to the fire, you were drunk.First of all, stop drinking yourself stupid for a girl who's not worth it! Alcohol will not make you feel any better, and even if it does, it's only temporary. In a short time, you're going to sober back to the real world. You may be young, but death doesn't discriminate age. I wouldn't trade a good liver for a cheating ex. Maybe I'm overreacting to the drinking, but the bottom line is it will NEVER help and you're a fool if you believe it will.Second, you invite a girl WHILE you were drunk. Sex and alcohol never mix and the results are never good. You and her decided to have sex, but the fucked up part is you didn't let her know what your intentions were. You didn't tell her that all you wanted was sex and you didn't want to get involved with her. And because you didn't, you basically used this girl AND now you're stuck with the guilt. So now, she thinks there's something between you two and you assumed she thought it was nothing more than a fling.So, are one night stands bad? Nope. But the reason and how you got there and the situation you're in now is what screwed you over.Here is what you should do next:1) Call her up, apologize to her, and tell her how you really felt about that night. You need to be honest with her and tell her all you wanted was sex, and nothing more. It's going to be tough and uncomfortable as hell but you need to be a man and own up to your mistakes. 2) Stop drinking and partying for the WRONG reasons. You can go out and have fun and drink responsibly, but don't use it as a shortcut to get over your ex. Do it just to have fun as a single man.3) No more one night stands while drunk. If you need sex, you better let her know what's up, while sober.4) To get over your ex, is to stop thinking about her. Delete and get rid of everything and anything that reminds you of her and your dead relationship. Then its going to be easier for you to get over her. Next, enjoy your life as a single man. You don't need to go look for another girl right away. Just enjoy the time you have by yourself. Do things that you enjoy, like hobbies or hang out with friends. Give time to yourself to get over the emotional pain and figure out what you want from the next relationship. Only with enough time, your pain and bad memories will fade away and you'll be ready to love again.So, the moral of the story is don't repeat your mistakes and learn from this. No more getting drunk and give yourself all the time in the world to get over your ex. No amount of sex or alcohol will do it. You need to do it yourself. Work out your issues, be happy single, then you can start looking for love again.

1. I KNOW!! im SRY guys! I respect your guy's advice...ishould not have contacted her anymore...but hey i learned my leason right? and im done with that bitch.2.[quote=Virtual_Star]  Quote:ESPECIALLY Virtual_Star!!! your advice i took to heart and your always soo sweet and nice in your reply's! [size:11pt][font:Times New Roman][color:#330099]Sweet? Nice? Uh oh, you're not going to like this reply.haha! i STILL like your advice!! Even though its not "aww im sorry, i understand what your feeling" it was more like a " HEY DUMB ASS, YOU FUCKED UP" lol i appreciate it cause it was REAL and TRUE.3. I talked to her later on...said i was sorry about the hook up...the whole being drunk thing..it was wrong..so thats it..dont talk to her anymore...dont really want to.4. YES i am a single man! I will not drink or have sex just beccause im frustrated about my ex...i mean why should i let a bitch who screws me over....make me screw myself over more right?? Im gonna hang out with my guy friends more, and work out at the gym more ....i mean its almost summer ---TY so much every1 your all soo helpful!

lol i messed up the the whole quoting thingme

I think you should do something with this post. What I mean is print it out, or put it on the wall or something. Next time you feel like you have to do something... stupid, you should read your own post again.Quite frankly, you said the exact same thing in your other thread after you just find out she cheated. I just hope you don't make the same mistake again, because you don't need to go through all that.

Quote:haha! i STILL like your advice!! Even though its not "aww im sorry, i understand what your feeling" it was more like a " HEY DUMB ASS, YOU FUCKED UP" lol i appreciate it cause it was REAL and TRUE.Wow, I'm really suprised. You must be some sort of saint. That's the first time someone's ever said that. Hell, I thought it was impossible for that to happpen!Lol, well, I wasn't trying to be a jerk to you, but you needed a tough push. As long as you learned from what happened and focus on yourself, you're going to be just fine.Best of luck to you!