Clueless Guys Can't Read Women

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If your at work and board as I am today here's an interesting article... well I thought... well not so much interesting but something we all new that's now be quantified... I guess I don't know... just read the damn thing if you feel like... unless you don't.Clueless Guys Can't Read WomenBy Jeanna Bryner, LiveScience Staff Writerposted: 20 March 2008 08:05 am ETResearch finds that guys have trouble reading non-verbal cues and often mistake a friendly smile to mean sexual interest. More often than not, guys interpret even friendly cues, such as a subtle smile from a gal, as a sexual come-on, and a new study discovers why: Guys are clueless. More precisely, they are somewhat oblivious to the emotional subtleties of non-verbal cues, according to a new study of college students. "Young men just find it difficult to tell the difference between women who are being friendly and women who are interested in something more," said lead researcher Coreen Farris of Indiana University's Department of Psychological and Brain Sciences. This "lost in translation" phenomenon plays out in the real world, with about 70 percent of college women reporting an experience in which a guy mistook her friendliness for a sexual come-on, Farris said. Some might think the results come down to "boys being boys," and so even the slightest female interest sparks sexual fantasy. But the study, to be detailed in the April issue of the journal Psychological Science, also found that it goes both ways for guys — they mistake females' sexual signals as friendly ones. The researchers suggest guys have trouble noticing and interpreting the subtleties of non-verbal cues, in either direction. The study's funding came from the National Institutes of Mental Health and the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism. Flirting or not? To unravel it all, Farris and her colleagues examined non-verbal communication in a group of 280 undergraduates, both men and women with an average age of 20 years old. The students viewed images of women on a computer screen and had to categorize each as friendly, sexually interested, sad or rejecting. Each student reported on 280 photographs, which had been sorted previously into one of the categories based on surveys completed by different groups of students. Overall, women categorized more images correctly than men did. When it came to friendly gestures, men were more likely than women to interpret these to mean sexual interest. More surprising, the researchers found guys were also confused by sexual cues. When images of gals meant to show allure flashed onto the screen, male students mistook the allure as amicable signals. So ladies trying to brush off a guy at work or the gym may need to be, uh, more direct. Men in the study also had more trouble than women distinguishing between sadness and rejection. Programmed for sex The results help to tease out the underlying causes of guys' flirt-or-not mistakes. One common explanation for reports of men taking a friendly gesture as "she wants me," is based on men's inherent interest in sex, which is thought to result from their biology as well as their upbringing. Following this idea, men and women would be aware of the same behavioral cues, but men would have a lower threshold for what qualifies as sexual interest. In contrast, women would wait for compelling evidence before labeling a behavior as sexual interest. However, Farris and her colleagues didn't find this to be the case. Rather than seeing the world through sex-colored glasses, men seemed just to have blurry vision of sorts, overall. For instance, the college guys sometimes mistook sexual advances as pal-like gestures. "I would say that there are many factors that could relate to men demonstrating insensitivity to women's subtle non-verbal cues," said Pamela McAuslan, associate professor of psychology at the University of Michigan-Dearborn, who was not involved in the current study. These factors would include socialization, gender roles and gender stereotypes, she said. For instance, "women are supposed to be the communicators, concerned with relationships and others ... men are supposed to be less concerned with communication and to be constantly alert for sexual opportunities," McAuslan said. "This could mean that men in general may be less sensitive to subtle non-verbal behavior than women." That doesn't mean such men can't learn to read cues or that all men are clueless decoders of women's gestures. "These are average differences. Some men are very skilled at reading affective cues," Farris told LiveScience, "and some women find the task challenging."

when I was single any clue was taken to mean ask me out, and i did hell even if I didnt get a clue it didnt stop me form asking them out. Now Im with just julie Iv tried and tried to explain to her dont give me fucking clues! I dont get them! just fucking tell me!Shes getting better at telling me, and it solves so many problems.The biggest area this is a problem is sex, and dinner.tell me what you want and when ya want it to both accounts.Ill do about any fucking thing she wants in sex, at least once. and as far as dinner if you want pizza fucking tell me! if you want me to cook something special tell me! if ya dont Ill cook what i want and whats easy and fast.

Actually I think I'm pretty good at picking up ques and clues but I resent 'em so I ignore 'em. If she can't cut to the chase and tell me directly what she wants I'm not going to spend much effort investigating. But then I generally figure it out so it's not to much problem.

I can tell if shes into what im doing, but if she wants something new or different she better speak the fuck up.
its easy to tell fi your doing what she likes but its impossible to know what she wants if she doesnt tell you.
Other than if your eating her snatch and shes raising up and pushing down on your head, thats a definite clue to lick the asshole :laughing:

To summarize the article: Men don't understand women. That is a fact.Who knows why women like to play all these games with certain motions or signs or whatever. Men don't get it.

She shouldn't have to tell you, you should just know!!

I know, huh?!LOL, I don't really beat around the bush much. I am TOO forward for a lot of guys.

figuring out what a woman wants is like trying to find a needle in the hay stack pretty much.

actually its more like trying to find a burnt needle in a haystack composed of unburnt needles, because the first wrong move and theres pain...

I love how this article made everything look like men suck. On the contrare, I believe it's the women who are clueless. It's not our fricken fault that women change every 5 seconds! they don't know how to just say what they mean. Men just give up. doesn't mean we're clueless. Also, I don't see why the hell they are testing women on other womens facial expressions. of course women are going to know what they look like and mean when they express that face. How pointless is that? it's like quizzing the steelers and the cowboys on the cowboys playbook. not quite to that extreme but you get what i mean. (ooh i rhymed)Anyways, This article kinda ticked me off. I just feel like it has a sexist manner towards men in it and it's fairly annoying. But if a man says something like that about a woman than he's a chauvinist. double standards are not fun.

maybe its not just that men need to learn how to read women, but also women need to learn how to be more direct? EDIT made a change?

i did read it, and to me at least it just seemed to say that men need to learn to read women better but women shouldnt need to learn to be more direct, but i was somewhat sure thats not what you were implying so i mentioned that (and i have edited my post to correctly portray that)

I don't think there will ever be a solid middle ground. If women are too subtle, people may think we're playing games and don't want to put up with it. But if we're too direct, people may think we're rude, or even the dreaded B word.

Of course, not all of us are the same. There are reasons why some are different than others, like how we were raised or what we've learned from our experiences.

Besides, my boyfriend puts up with my crazy PMS symptoms and I put up with his undying geekiness of '80s pop culture. It's the perfect balance. :grin:

I think the research has some merit. I can't tell you how many times I'm out and if I smile at a guy, they think I'm automatically interested in them. Or if I'm out with some friends and if I make eye contact with a guy, they automatically think I'm interested. I find that, like the article said, young guys have more trouble distinguishing "signals."

I agree. I think the older we get, the less we see those smiles and looks as hook-up signals, and the more we see them as welcome, positive human interactions, possible made all the sweeter because it comes from a female....and the more we see the value in that.

Originally Posted By: ClassyBlackWoman

I find that, like the article said, young guys have more trouble distinguishing "signals."

No doubt. Women mature more quickly in this area...men have to play "catch-up" as time goes by. Guys mature more quickly in other areas.

Not enough info to be sure, but I'm wondering if they can really count out men's sexual orientation as a factor. They should have cross-referenced things with how attractive the man thought the woman was. If a man likes the way a woman looks, he's likely going to read into her smile what he wants to...same thing if she doesn't look interesting to him, sexually. Just saying that men made mistakes both ways doesn't count out his sex-drive as a factor.

Anymore, if I want something or if I want someone to get a hint I just open my mouth..That's what it's there for right? Might as well say what you want because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

That's pretty interesting. I love how men are supposed to be the ones who "learn" the cues. Why is it always our fault? Seriously. And women would be much easier to read if they didn't write all their signals in cuneiform.

I am a young guy.My GF is often direct enough for me (because she knows me, and I'm horrible at clues, signals, or really anything that isn't specifically laid out in a geometric shape), however my feminine friends, (specifically my best friend) constantly make little clues or hints. She says something, and I stare at her for a few seconds and say, "..I can't do hints. You know that. what do you want?"Then she gets bothered about it because I "ruined" the way she wanted to tell me something. sighI just read my little poem in my signature.

Am I the only one who finds the title sortof... can't think of the word... maybe redundant? If they're clueless then obviously they can't read women...