Confused and Frustrated.

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Hey everyone... well, for some time now, I always thought that I was straight and that I was just the same as my guy classmates. Well now, I'm having conflicting emotions and thoughts. I'm beginning to think that I'm gay, but I'm still thinking that I'm straight... and I'm just so confused right now.It's hard for me to come up with a conclusion. I don't want to blurt out that I'm gay because I'm afraid that my parents and family and my friends and classmates may look at me in a negative light.I find myself being attracted more to guys than girls lately. This has been going on ever since two months ago, or maybe more, since well, I always had some fascination with guys... I just keep it to myself and not even show it. I have gay feelings, such as, affection for the same sex. I don't have any tendencies or desires to be "feminine," not meaning to say that in a negative way, I just have an affection for guys...Sometimes, I would even get frustrated at myself and even think of suicide. Would anyone be willing to share their thoughts and what you think? It would help me a lot..

Don't label yourself as gay or straight, date those who you have an attraction to, and don't worry about anything. Especially not right now. You don't need to come out officially, because there is *nothing* to come out about, If you lean towards men, then lean. dive right in, if you want, if you officially announce it, it might cause problems, but if you act like its just who you are, and have always been, people will be like "why didn't I see this before"

But mostly, just don't worry about it. You're young, and have so much time to worry about so many other things.

I agree with Java - rather than worrying about labels, or, worse, trying to fit yourself into some sort of mould, let yourself be yourself. That's good enough!

I pretty much agree with what I read of the other posts. There is no need to label yourself. Let your sexuality develop over time there's no rush.Consider the fact that you might be bi. I am and my sexuality waxes and wains between the sexes over the course of a year. There are times I'm more attracted to males than females and females more than males.Society seems to like to make men, in particular, choose a sexuality and stick with it... but fuck society do what feels right for you. Your young, single, available and if you what to start a relationship with a guy that's your business just the same as if you want a relationship with girl.Don't try to conform to anything gay, straight or otherwise... to thine own self be true.Now if your still in high school and think parents and school may have a problem with your sexuality, remember you don't need to tell anyone. It's private, it's your business. If you think it may cause a problem I wouldn't say anything until your out on your own, supporting yourself. That doesn't mean thought that you'll have to abstain from any relationship with a man, if that's what you desire. It just means that your quiet about it. It means you don't bring him home and introduce him as your boyfriend to mom and dad it mean when they meet him he's just introduced as a friend. They same applies for your friends. Just don't do stupid shit like be fuckin' on your bed where your parents could pop in the room or coach and the team could walk in the locker room. Just be true to yourself... accept yourself and above all never, never, never seek to label yourself. Labels only serve to limit the great potential within you.Sorry, I don't have more time to answer this. I've got a big job to get out this week. As always feel free to PM if there are questions you have that you don't want to ask in public. ...though I will add, public is usually better._________________________________________________________________One other thing, life is always worth finding what tomorrow holds. I've been through some bad shit more than any one person on this board knows, let alone anybody in my life. I've thought pretty seriously about suicide. I never tried, maybe I'm to vain... or just to curious but when I think of some of the times I would have missed, I know it's not worth it. Don't get me wrong there have been bad times too, but I don't think about those really. I think about the good times I've had and the friends I have... it's just not worth it.Pain and hurt and I are old friends... to the point I'm maybe more at home with them than with happiness and joy. I know hurt and I know life and life can be beautiful. Live for the beauty and let the ugly fall away. Even when I held the gun or the razor, the potential for a good tomorrow stayed my hand. And there have been many good tomorrow and I know there will continue to be good tomorrows. The bad tomorrows are just another day and will be forgotten in time anyway. It's the greatest gift of life that, with time, we tend to let go the bad and concentrate on the good that we have had the privilege to experience.

so much to say, so much that cant be said...

thank you OldFolks, I feel a little confident now =)

whatever you do, just don't do "the voice".

oh no, I won't.

I'm more of the quiet type of guy that's just, normal, lol. I'm not saying that other gay men aren't normal just because they have "the voice."

a bunch of the gay guys I've seen do that voice on purpose.That is the only thing that annoys me about some gay ppl.If its your normal voice, fine and dandy, but it just internally irks me when I hear that fake voice.