So about a girl...

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Ok, for this past year, I've been looking for a girl who I'm personally physically attracted to, and at the same time that girl needs to have a good personality. About the only way i really fall for someone it seems like, is if i find someone hot, mess around with them, then get to know them, then fall in love. Also means i want someone sexual active.First of the year, I met a girl in my class. She was REALLY overweight, preppy, "appearingly" innocent, christian and that whole package. Basically opposite from me and the type i go for. Nothing turned me on about her, and she's not intrested in anything I am, and the only reason me and her are freinds is cuz we're nice to each other. Well from the begginning, she's had a crush on me. Through time, i learned that she is sorta sexually active (at the rare times she can be) and she drinks some, but of coarse, what good does that do if im not attracted to her. And this whole year, ive had no luck finding the right girl for me, well i have, but the girls always turn me down. Anyway, this girl is a good freind of mine, and i trust her alot, so naturally ill talk to her at times about the girls ive tried to get and have crushes on. Well she asked me out at the begginnign of the year, and i said "well, i don't know you real well yet, so let's just be freinds and see how things go through the year". But as time passes, and i met new peopel and get crushes and talk to her about it, im sure she's realized "hey he just doesn't like me".Well whenever i talk about someone i like, and the sort of girl ide go after, she'll say things like "well i'm sexual active" or " I drink sometimes" and stuff trying to be like "well hey im what your looking for so what gives?"...and ive told her i think she's cute but in all reality, im not attracted to her at all, mainly because of her weight.Its sort of a issue alot, and i never know what to say.I think saying "well i just see you as a good freind" would be appropriate, just...many other guys have said the same thing to her, and im sure it hurts her.Talking to her about other people probably hurts her, especially since I might actually would have dated her if her looks appealed to me, and at the same time, her being still a good freind to me, i can't help but talk about what i feel like talking about.This is one main reason i hate being ugly, is because a buncha really ugly people think they have a chance with me, then i have to turn them down and be their friend cuz i still am a nice person, and then it causes a buncha drama.But what do i do? schools almost over and i sorta plan on drifting away from her over summer cuz im graduating, but idk. I just wish she'd at least find a boyfreind so things would be ok.

Wow, a girl acutally likes you for you and you turn her down because of her weight?You're doomed.But besides that, I don't see what's the problem. What is your question exactly?

Lol, looks fade in later life so i don't see why it matters to be honest if she was overweight. So your a nice guy huh.....yea right pull the other one.

It's not just cuz of her weight, its because she has nothing in common with me.I go for style and personality more than body looks.But i want someone who's "my type" to like me for me.I just dont want any random person out there.

I go for style and personality more than body looks.Could've fooled me

I agree with LTTAHonestly, you sound like a nice, caring guy but it looks like you're putting on a facade. Almost like you feel sorry for her. I can't stand when guys act superficial like they're so high and mighty and you should be grateful they're even talking to you. It's even worse when girls do it. It's arrogant and very unattractive. The pity/"sympathy" just makes it worse. If you get along with this girl and you really connect with her you shouldn't let something like her WEIGHT hold you back. That's very shallow. When I was graduating Jr. High the boys treated me badly because I was this small tiny little tomboy with little legs and arms, crazy untamed lion hair, weird "alien" eyes that they swore were contacts, and I was completely flat like a board except for the butt... always cursed with that. And evidently I didn't look like the rest of the "pretty" girls so that gave them a reason to pity me or treat me badly. Now all of a sudden when I'm about to leave high school I've become a "dime piece" with a "tight body" and the same punks who put me through hell in Jr. High are asking me out. Don't be like those guys. A great guy is a guy who can look past physical appearance. Same with a girl. Yes, physical appearance is very important but it shouldn't be so important you miss miss out on a great partner because of it.

Why do you guys/gals criticize a person because he's not attracted to another person? Since when does someone who says, "I like you" automatically warrant our affection? Maybe he's just not interested in her as anything more than a friend. Just because she likes him, doesn't mean he has to like her? Where is that rule written? And girls, don't act like you don't do it as well. I've told many a girl I liked them, and what I got in return was nothing short of, "you're too of a friend." To be in a FULFILLING relationship there HAS to be attraction. There is NO getting around it. Would you date someone you were not attracted to? It's all about natural selection, man. If the guy doesn't find himself attracted to a larger girl, then that's his prerogative. Don't jump down his throat because he seems "shallow", "superficial", etc. Just saying. *for the record I didn't read through the entire thread, but it seems like dude didn't want to date her because of her weight? Is that what I'm gathering? There's nothing wrong with that.

Quote:It's all about natural selection, manhad me convinced until you got to that. now I'm gone.and if you only understood the fact that he didn't like her because of her weight and didn't bother to read the rest of what he said then why would you criticize other people for their responses when you didn't take the initiative to understand everything?just saying.

You need to read this and this in order to understand where we and the OP is coming from. He's having serious issues when it comes to physical looks.He believes he's "ugly" and won't date anyone else who's "ugly" because it's not socially acceptable.

Originally Posted By: JapanFan14 Quote:It's all about natural selection, manhad me convinced until you got to that. now I'm gone.and if you only understood the fact that he didn't like her because of her weight and didn't bother to read the rest of what he said then why would you criticize other people for their responses when you didn't take the initiative to understand everything?just saying. Deny what you want to about natural selection, JF. The honest truth, is that YES it does play a HUGE role in how we, as humans, select "mates". Any my criticism came when I read other person's responses saying, "So, you don't like her because of her weight"? How many different ways can that be interpreted?? Honestly. If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck...

So from that...it seems he needs to be self-validated by dating/being with someone who is, by social standards, "not ugly"? Then...I pity him. It's not about how society sees people, it's about how they see themselves and how we see them (in regards to dating). That's too bad.

Then...I pity himAgreed.TC has some serious issues with either self-esteem or Body Dismorphic Disorder (or whatever disorder it was Pete linked to in one of the trheads), and has a real fucked up view of the world. Unfortunately, until Someone_Young decides to change, he won't ever change, and will just keep complaining about how he'll be a single loser for his whole life because of a nose or something.