I've been doing some thinking.I have been doing a LOT of thinking in a constructive kind of way over a kind of a long time. I've also been doing some self-analysis. And now I'm going to ask a question... why does everyone seem to think it is ok for a guy to be attracted to another guy?Don't get me wrong; I myself have been attracted to guys. Still am. I went through phases of calling myself bisexual, homosexual, "not labelling myself". If I'm honest with myself, I can find a few reasons about WHY I feel this way that tell me that being attracted to guys is wrong. I'm not gonna write them because this post will become long and boring. If you're interested to know, then ask. But homosexuality, bisexuality... it's a problem. I know because I have it. It took a long time for me to work out how I think I got this way, and it was a painful process of looking inside and finding uncomfortable truths. But seriously, how can people not see that people aren't meant to be this way? How can you say that it's not a problem? Even that it's not preventable?And please, if you're going to reply... let's be sensible. Thanks.
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It's a "Why" Question (Not for easily offended)
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I don't think your post would be boring and doesn't matter if it's long. Please let us know why you think what you do.Beyond that, why does homosexuality matter one way or the other? If your not involved in the act, why would anyone care? I personally don't understand that. Enlighten me.
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I agree with you that I also view homosexuality as being wrong from the biological standpoint.. From the social view, I could care less.
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I understand where you are coming from,
I really do,
but things can be made to work.My friend was a test tube baby, and she has two mothers (well..four now..her original moms got divorced and remarried).
AND the sperm that the mother used was from a gay guy.
So gay men and women can still contribute.
But beyond that, our world is overpopulated. That's why we want to colonize the moon.
If you ever read into psychology, there have been studies that show that some people are just born gay.
It happens.
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The reasons I feel that homosexuality is wrong is that most of the things i struggled with in my life seem to be the causes of it. Like, the fact i was bad at sports (and labelled myself as such, and beat myself up about that); the fact i considered myself bad looking (and labelled myslef as such etc.); the fact i felt myself was physically weak (and did nothing about it). They all point to jealousy against other guys, and in a roundabout way... gayness.And the bible isn't my reasoning for this. Yes, there's lots in the bible people don't listen to.But then there is the fact that i feel i need people to recognise me. My whole set of insecurities led to my feeling of needing to be praised and seen as special or even normal, i guess. I didn't really get that from my parents (they're not bad parents - don't get me wrong). This led me to desire recognition from people of my own sex, especially in regard to having my sexuality affirmed by those around me - male friends. (the fact that my cum didn't fire didn't really help this. i felt like a freak lol - i know i see this in perspective now but it's one of many factors. it felt like a big problem at the time.) I guess that also led me to my guy-liking-ness as well.Any way, all this, the fear, the insecurity and the need for praise and recognition... it all points to something that looks more like mental illness to me. How can something normal or good come out of such circumstances?
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Originally Posted By: stolenpieI've been doing some thinking.I have been doing a LOT of thinking in a constructive kind of way over a kind of a long time. I've also been doing some self-analysis. And now I'm going to ask a question... why does everyone seem to think it is ok for a guy to be attracted to another guy?I'm going to assume you meant why does everyone seem to think it is NOT ok to be attracted to a guy??? Again I assume, in that case....I can only surmise that it is due to their religious teachings. If you take a child and raise them that everyone is equal no matter who they are and NOT subject them to a religion, then they will easily see a gay person as normal. Unless they get molested or something by a gay person and then their mind would most likely change.So in short, I think its due to religion and/or events in life that make ppl despise gays.Me personally, I don't despise gays. As a kid, in church I was taught that homosexuality is blasphemy in god's eye, but I was taught alot of things as a child. And as such, years later with more info that I have obtained throughout my life I draw my own conclusions.The ONLY thing I despise about a gay guy EVER, is when he will do "the voice". You know..........that one........I HATE when they'll do it intentionally. If their voice is like that normally, ok. But the majority I've seen, I KNOW their voice isn't normal like that.
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I know I'm not a mod, but...
Rad, it seems to me the op was laying out some legit questions and trying to work it out in a way that makes sense to him. I may not get his reasoning, but I appreciate his struggle. And I appreciate that he is laying it out there in a way that is basically non-judgmental and not condemming. Just confusing (to him and us!). Anyway, it just seems like your response was a bit...harsh. Although, I can imagine that what he's saying might hit you and a couple others differently than it does a lot of us.
I'm just saying that this is an interesting start to a thread, started by someone who seems to me to be looking for honest input.
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ok look theres a study that says that gay guys are fit and you arent correct strike 1 against you are being gay that you are attracted to guys doesnt make you gay you might just want to experement or somthing like that so strike 2 and the fact that you dont ant to be gay cause of all its led to so strike 3 youre not gay
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If you need to be praised for something so you can feel recongized, then why don't you do something you are good at? Perhaps sports is simply not your thing. Everyone has one or more things they are not good that, but other things that they are.Sexuality is a small part of a person. It's what they do that makes them who they are.
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Why is it okay to be straight?? Because society makes it a point to tell us it’s okay; that’s the main point. If society would instead teach us its okay to be who we are and to respect each individual regardless of gender, race, and sexual orientation people would never give homosexuals a second look. But that’s not how society works, it has never looked fondly on minorities or looked fondly on something it doesn’t 100% understand. Simply put people are scared of what they don’t understand. One thing I think people need to understand homosexuals are just as normal as heterosexuals. We have the same desires and goals in life as well. Does society make it harder for us to live our normal daily lives, yes it does. And because society makes it a struggle, it makes us stand out more as being “abnormal”. I’ll try and address the issues you brought forth. I’m just one gay man to compare to, but with even that said that are all kinds of people in every walk of life. With the gay male culture yes there are feminine guys, but there are just has many manly “butch” gay men. There are gay men who love musicals, with just has many who hate them lol. When you start breaking it down, gay men are simply normal men.Anyways back on track here on where I was going lol…In High School I was quite athletic. I ran both track (long distance) and also Cross Country. I even broke the school record in the 1-mile run, ran it in 4 mins 12 secs. I was also very good at basketball; I was always very tall, but ended up quitting the team because the coach and I just butted heads too much. I was also on the wrestling team for a bit, but just wasn’t my nitch. I even played soccer for a couple years. But on an even balance I was also in band, and choir. Even today I go to the gym 5 days a week. I still enjoy running long distance, love throwing the football around with friends. Hell even found out a few years ago I loved playing baseball (Still hate watching it though LoL), something I never really tried before. My main point is being gay has nothing to do with a persons athletic ability. Some people, regardless of sexual orientation, are simply better athletically than others. I know many straight men that are just horrible athletically. I even have some male straight friends who literally hate sports… as well as I have gay friends (like my BF) who also hate sports. My BF was raised in a household that don’t watch sports or play sports. Instead of sport his father taught him other crafts like electrical work, building houses (literally), building cabinets from scratch etc. Where my family is very sports oriented. When it comes to athleticism either you have it or you don’t in my opinion… has nothing to do with your sexual orientation.As for the physically weak part, not sure what that has to do with “gayness” as you put it. If you look around your school you will see other boys like yourself that are just not as physically strong as other guys. As males (like woman) we all come in different shapes and sizes. I myself am not someone I would consider being all that physically strong, where my BF if physically strong, his job requires it. Granted I am now catching up to him thanks to my personal trainer. But physical strength is something anyone can change if they want to. Go to the gym or buy some weights. Anyone, regardless of sexual orientation, can be as strong as they want to be if they have the will power. I will say there is a “mental illness” about you, so to speak. But it has nothing to do with you being gay, but instead all your insecurities and fears. We all have them, whether we are straight or gay. It’s part of being human. It’s easier to blame the one thing we don’t understand, like in your case the thought of being gay; it’s easier to blame that that to really dig within yourself and find the root of your problem. But being gay in general is not a mental illness; it’s just a small part of who the person is. And how can something good come from being who you are, gay or straight? Well I personally found love, happiness, and acceptance. To me, it’s all been worth it.
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That's nothing more than a sterotype that all gay men are in shape lol. All people need to do is go to a gay bar once to put that myth to rest LoL.
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LoL My "pretty boy" days are number hehe. I work my ass off at the gym to hold on a little longer lol.
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LOL! Well I appreciate the knowledge When I graduated High School I was a 28 waist. Before I joined the gym I moved up to a 32 waist with a tight fit. The other day I put on a pair of Adam's jeans, he wears 28's. I actually got the jeans to buckle.. a little tight but damn it they buckled!! LoL. I'm probably more like a 30 now though to fit comfortably
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I wouldn't say its society, more so than its the parents who pass their beliefs/ideals on to their offspring, who continue the vicious cycle.I STILL don't completely understand a gay person(just like women)and I'm not scared at all.I wonder where the phrase, ppl fear what they don't understand, came from...... That may have worked in the old days like Dark Ages, but now its not them being scared its just them being ignorant.
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Originally Posted By: ko9
I wonder where the phrase, ppl fear what they don't understand, came from...... That may have worked in the old days like Dark Ages, but now its not them being scared its just them being ignorant.
Sorry, no offense to you, but I actually hate statements like these. I have a fear of tornadoes. Not because I don't understand them, but because they are dangerous. It's true that we can fear things as a result of not understanding them, but to generalize that to all fears is symptomatic of someone trying too hard to make a point that could probably be made more logically.
I've admitted on this board before that I have a fear of gay men. I'm not ignorant of gay men and my fear has nothing to do with not understanding them. My fear - a very subjective one - has to do with a very real experience. Not rational maybe, but not ignorant either.
(For the record, and those here who know me a little better will know this, this post is in no way an anti-gay statement. It's just an anti-silly-statement statement.) -
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So in short, I think its due to religion and/or events in life that make ppl despise gays.
You fall under what I posted earlier then.
No offense taken, btw. I'm very hard to offend.
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NO! You're doing exactly what I was talking about. You're equating fear with hate. I didn't say anywhere, nor would I ever say that I despise gay men. Or at least not for being gay. I mean, there is a gay man or two that I don't like, but it's for other reasons, not cause they're gay. So please don't misquote me. I was talking about fear, not hate. Not at all the same thing.
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erase the despise gays part of my post and that's what I meant to post.
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So, if you're saying something like life events causing one to fear gay people. That works...for me. But I'm not pretending to represent anyone other than myself.
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my friends dad is a good example of my post.He was molested by his father and thus despises gays.Though his dad wasn't gay.