The passed three girls I've gone after all have boyfriends.
They get into me, they tell me they like me, we'll get to cuddling. Now, at this time I ask myself do they LIKE me? Sure, they're cuddling with me, they have no problem being close to me. But, they have a boyfriend? I straight up ask them a more detailed, and not so blunt version of " What the fuck is going on? " and, for the passed three girls, the answer has been a hesitant "I really like you, I'm into both of you, I don't know what to do." So, again I ask in a not so blunt way "Him or me?" which, again, for the passed three girls has been him, not me.
But, I'm fine with that answer considering I knew they had a boyfriend. Well, one of them I didn't and I found out after we were cuddling but still, I don't get depressed over girls, just frusterated. I'm still very good friends w/ all three of them.
This one girl I told her I liked her awhile back, her response was "I'm really sorry" because she had a boyfriend, so what ever. Any guys been rejected more times than they've been accepted, I'm fine with that.
Couple months later SHE starts texting me again, or asking to hang out, etc. I don't reject it, I hang out and text back. I ask her "So whats going on?" and she goes "I'm just starting to like you but I can't" I ask why, "Because I have a BF" I just leave it at that. We hang out quite a bit, she flirts w/ me so much it's stupid, we hug, we cuddle.
My close buddy, which is her best 'guy friend' which will never be more than just friends would think that we were dating if he didn't know any better.
She asked what I was thinking once and I say "About us, and if anything will ever happen?" and she goes "I don't know. We'll have to see what happens. I really do like you though"
So, what the feck?
I have no problem just dropping it. But, I'd like to know if shes leading me on or if she actually likes me and legitimately doesn't know how to leave her boyfriend.
What do you people of the internet think?
She has a boyfriend...Am I wasting my time?
The passed three girls I've gone after all have boyfriends.
She has a boyfriend, so I wouldn't waste my time. She's obviously using you for some form of gratification. It's not fair to you and it's not fair to her boyfriend.
Why not try dating girls who are actually single?
<span style="color: red">~~Don't make someone a priority when you're only an option~~</span>
I'm definitely thinking going after the single ones is the way to go now haha.
In my opinion, with women like that even if you do succeed in getting the girl to choose you they're probably not the kind of person you want to be in a relationship with anyway. I mean, look how they treated their ex?
Since she has a boyfriend, I wouldn't try to get involved with her like that in the first place. Also, I'd be warry. If you do get into a relationship with her, look at how she has treated her past boyfriends, what makes you think that she would treat you any differently?
Km and Vin, yea that didn't slip my mind. I thought/think about it.
We'll see how it plays out. Right now I'm just thinkin' I'll stop w/ all the shit passed what 'jus friends' would do and see what she does and tell her no unless she breaks up w/ buddy.
it really all depends what you're after.
I have been in this situation before and perhaps her sex life isn't going how she wants it, or doesn't feel as close to her BF as she does you. In MOST cases, these girls will kiss you and/or do more with you if you jump in first. Perhaps they may even fantasize about it!
You never know when you will meet the perfect person.
I asked her how much she liked me, her response was "quite a bit"
she texted me goodnight, as per usual. I replied w/ Goodnight, love you.
Obviously, I don't know if I mean it, "I love you" is a blanket word in a young aged relationship. So, what ever. She replied w/ "Love you too"
Next time I hang out w/ her I'm gunna' put her in the situation of him or me. Because she's mature enough to know what she wants and if shes going to tell me she doesn't know well that tells me it's him, not me.
Opinions? Do you think I should do that or something else? I want to be with her if possible, but I don't want to 'force' her into saying him if she just needs time to say me type of deal.
So texted me and asked whats up, I reply w/ Nothing. You?
Her: Nothing. You haven't really texted me all day.
Me: I've been busy out all day. (Really, I wasn't busy enough to not text her, I just wanted to see how she acted by me texting her once in the morning as per usual)
Half hour later she texts me "Whatcha upto now?"
I reply w/ "Nothing." Normally it'd be precisely what I was doing, even if it was "Just sitting on the couch" and if I were looking at the wall or watching channel 41, I'd say that. Then ask what she was upto or what ever.
Her: Are you ok?
She doesn't reply for awhile, and says
"Are you sure? You don't seem like it"
I don't reply for like 10, and say "I'm fine, just kinda' wondering what is going on between us. Honesty is best for me so if you know, do tell"
She replies after awhile ":( I don't know what to do. I feel horrible"
I reply w/ what do you mean you don't know what to do.
She replies 20 min later w/ " I just don't know insert my name
I don't reply.
Her: You probably hate me.
Me after 10 minutes "Nope. I just feel like I'm being led on and thats what I hate. If you know and just don't want to hurt my feelings, please tell me what you have in mind"
Her: I will tell you when I know. I'm not trying to lead you on. Sorry.
Her after a min or two: I understand if you never want to talk to me again.
Me after a bit: That's all I wanted to know, and don't think I'm not going to talk to you. The only way I'm going to stop is if you want me to.
Her: No don't stop talking to me.
Then I just turned it into a what ever conversation.
What do you guys think?
Right now I'm just what ever...I'm not waiting for her. Already did the waiting game a few times, not this time. If I'm single when she makes her mind up, then ok.
Don't stop talking to her, but treat her like an average anybody.
She's got a boyfriend to treat her "extra special"
If she's confused, then she's confused, but until they break it off, your hands are tied. Don't be the one responsible behind all this. Just go on like nothing, and if she becomes single, then dive in, but until then. I say "meh"
Mhmmm. Meh is where I'm at lately w/ her.
And so you should stay. And don't "wait" for her either. Makes it real obvious you're interested if you wait. I'd say, treat this one like it's a "No Go" and move on. If your paths cross romantically in the future, and she has no boyfriend, pursue if you'd like, but for the time being, there is no possible "you + her".
Should I tell her what I am doing or how I feel about this?
Or just go from "goodnight babe, I love you" to "'night" and from her hugging me multiple times when she sees me to rejecting it? (Or should I?)
Today I didn't really text/talk w/ her as much as normally, and she asks me if she did something wrong, or gets concerned as to why I haven't been texting/talking to her.
+ any other times I seem out of the ordinary w/ her she..in a short term, asks me what the fuck/is there something wrong.
Oh my god you're such a doormat.
Sorry but I have to be as blunt as possible here. I have been through nearly exactly the same situation.
My guess is you're 15-18 years old.
First. STOP saying "I love you". That's like saying "please kick me in the schlong, my dream princess".
You're laying down and letting her walk all over you by saying you "love" her. Even if it is just a "young person thing to say". She thinks she's got you snared in her tractor beam now - and you gotta break free.
Second, she's using very clever reverse psychology on you. Most of the girls I've been out with do exactly the same thing. They use the "you probably hate me now" line, which will prompt a "noooo I don't hate you I love you sooo much" response. In effect they're breaking you down more.
She's asking what is wrong because she can see you trying to break free from her spell. This is GOOD. Next time don't back down and start saying everything is fine.
Thirdly - and this is the bit that might sting...I honestly don't think she sees you as anything more than a caring guy who she can go to when she's not having the greatest time with her boyfriend. We call this being a Cuddle Bitch.
You can read about this here: http://intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html
You need to formulate a plan. Something like:
Step 1: Realise this is going nowhere
Step 2: Phase out all the "close" things you do. This includes pet-names (like babe, love, sweetie etc). No more hugs, "no more I love you"s.
Step 3: Stand up for yourself when she starts trying to use reverse psychology on you.
Once you have got this far, then either of 2 things will happen:
1. She will get annoyed that you are being a man, and will move on to some other sap
2. She will try very hard to get you back into her bear trap (which is what usually happens to me)
If she tries to get you back into her crosshair, then it may be time to start trying to cut contact with her, as she will then clearly just be trying to use you.
The golden, most important, utterly critical rule is to stick to your guns.
I did all of the above with one girl, but then a couple of months later got sucked right back in.
Be strong! Go and find some actual single girls. You're torturing yourself.
That's the end of the session. That will be £450. Put it on your account? Very well, sir.
Blunt is good. I like blunt.
Today she asked me how much I loved her, my reponse was " I don't know if I do. Maybe enough to get hurt eventually and thats why we're just giong to stay friends. Feel free to call me when you figure your stuff out w/ Justin "
She replys with " Okay. I'm sorry "
Then I never replied to her and 4 hours later she goes "So I guess I don't get anymore hugs?"
"I guess not" was my reply.
Then, I stopped recieving texts all day, and haven't recieved any from friends that I've asked to send me some, so who knows what shes been trying to say to me.
I see the light, and it would have hurt if I kept wasting my time.
But, at this point I don't really care and I'm glad I decided to say, in short term fuck you.
Good man. Well done. Next!