okay me and my girlfriend had been going out nearly a year (tomorow was our anniversary) and she said that we needed to just be friends for a while because she needed "to figure out if she loved me as a boyfriend or just a really sweet guy" so since then, a few days ago, we have still been texting, and she is at the beach.... here is how our conversation went...HER: the guys really like me here.ME: alotta guys like you...... are you hooking up or something?her: maybe.ME: oh... okay.HER: Yeah..ME: ok fine have fun hooking up.....HER: okay i love you bye.then i said "you dont anymore..." because it was a reaction to her hooking up. i knew she did... i did too...so then i waited for her response, and didnt get one,, so i said "you told me there was still hope for us...."when i got a text back it said "what the fuck i cant beleive you motherfucking said that i love you so much and anyways i told the guy no. dont ever text me again ____. good bye.i have sent her multiple apologies explaining why i reacted that way and that im sorry but she wont reply.... what do i do!?
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Break up, fucked up
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I don't know, this doesn't seem like there's much of a relationship to fix.
I'm not your girlfriend, but I don't understand how you can go out with someone for a year and still wonder if you love this person or it's just a casual relationship. Unless she told you about how she felt earlier, I think it's unfair to lead someone on like that for a year.
It really all comes down on how YOU feel. Do you honestly feel like she really loves you? Do you honestly feel like she lied and did hook up with someone? Do you honestly want a lasting and meaningful relationship with her?
In my honest opinion, it's time to move on. But if you want to continue, then go for it. Instead of sending her text messages, have you called her or talk to her in person? If she really doesn't want to talk to you then give some time and try again.
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i talked to her friend and she said that my ex said she would just cry trying to talk to me....i want to move on now but i care so much about her i dont want to see her that sad...also, she has loved me, but she thinks its changing into a friend love... i dont no if she hooked up with someone or not, but either way....i would love to mend my relationship with her, but if i cant id be honored just to be friends with her...but now that shes saying to never text her again...that hurts me more than any lie or break up ever will
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Then try to see her in person, I think that will be better.
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Originally Posted By: terified
HER: the guys really like me here.
ME: alotta guys like you...... are you hooking up or something?
her: maybe.
ME: oh... okay.
HER: Yeah..
ME: ok fine have fun hooking up.....
HER: okay i love you bye.then i said "you dont anymore..." because it was a reaction to her hooking up. i knew she did... i did too...
so then i waited for her response, and didnt get one,, so i said "you told me there was still hope for us...."
when i got a text back it said "what the fuck i cant beleive you motherfucking said that i love you so much and anyways i told the guy no. dont ever text me again ____. good bye.
i have sent her multiple apologies explaining why i reacted that way and that im sorry but she wont reply.... what do i do!?
I've bolded the problem areas.
I'll start at the top:"oh...okay." That shouldn't have been said. She was testing to see if you were going to react...and you did. Test failed. Instead you should have said something funny about it, or changed the topic.
Her: Maybe
You: Oh, don't forget to get a picture of the seagulls/a shark tooth/etc., for me. I want a momento!Next, your, "you don't anymore..." response. Well this should not have been said...period. I know it's hard to not react to something like your long time girlfriend hooking up with another guy, but you have to understand that if she's deciding on breaking up with you because you're a "nice guy" lol, well...DON'T BE A NICE GUY. Things have become stagnant in the pool of love you guys are in. Make a few waves!
"You said there was still hope for us..."
You're becoming a really "needy" guy, and just like guys don't always like clingy girls, girls don't always like clingy guys. You even sending something to her even when she DID NOT respond to your previous message, shows that you're excessively attached. Almost as if your day revolves around her. You, sitting by the cell phone, checking to see if there's a text in your inbox, even when no sign has been given from your phone...all wrong, buddy.Lastly, what are you apologizing for? You did absolutely NOTHING wrong. You apologize when you step on someone's foot, or brush up against them in a line on accident. You do not apologize for her over-reacting. If I'm reading her long response correctly, she's saying she still loves you?? Correct? Again, don't apologize for doing nothing wrong. *I know most case the man is always wrong...but this is not one of those cases...well..it is, but only from a contextual point of view, i.e. what you should have done differently.
What to do?
Don't chase. You've apologized, so leave it at that. Start hanging out with other friends, get out of your house. Keep preoccupied and be social. If she texts you: Take a few extra minutes to respond, "Yeah, I was busy...". If she calls, go ahead and pick it up, but control the interaction. Don't talk about what happened in a negative light. "So how was the beach? I love going to the beach, I know you had a great time"! And leave on a high note because you're busy (even if you're not). Something right after you get her laughing or having a good upbeat tonality to her voice, ", Well, anyway, I gotta get off here, I'm gonna go meet up with at , and you've kept me on the phone for FARRR TOO LONG *said in a joking manner*, you should come." IF she declines or is busy with other plans just go with the flow, "cool, well you have fun with that! and I'll talk to you later!" Don't get upset, dude. She still wants to be apart of your life, she just needs to "figure shit out." However, she's not waiting for you, so you need not wait for her.
That's all I got for now lol