Hello This is perhaps on of the biggest problem that I have and been trying to work on it but I have kept this to myself for many years. So if you or you know someone that has been in a similar situation and was able to get out of it then please tell me how you did it. I am 20 years old and I have not had a girl friend. Sorry for using 'had' and 'have' they sound like a possession but I have a limited vocabulary. Dont take it wrong I have friends that girls but that is as far as I am able to go. It is as if there is this wall coming up that I am not able to get rid of. I don’t know what these days you call a date. The farthest I have gone was to a dinner with girl a few times, does that count or is it just at social thing. Now comes this, it is very embarrassing and no body knows this but I have not my first real kiss. I must be a total loser by saying this . Sometimes I don’t even think of it as much, but if I think of something that brings it or if I see a real couple (not some hormone driven teens -- it is easy to tell) I just crash and it can ruin the rest of my day. It makes me feel horrible; sometimes I think that I am loosing it. It is like there is this war of multi-personalities inside of me; im the physical one and others are in my head heard to explain, I am in control. I feel that I don’t belong socially. when I talk to people about what ever they are talking about or if a conversation gets started I get this since that they don’t even care on what im saying or they just ignore me and just go on as if I didn’t even say anything like I wasn’t around. When people have asked me ‘have you ever been with a girl’ sometimes I lie and say yes they probably know that im lying and sometimes I don’t lie and say no.Here is the Ironic part. There was this girl at the college I went to that people say that was crazy over me and really wanted me but a friend of hers said to me that I was the rebound guy and I don’t quite know what that is but she asked me to sleep with her I responded maybe latter I wonder if I said the right thing. I sure some guy would jump to the opportunity to do it. Don’t take me wrong she was good looking and kept that way. On dude says ‘’yes she is a hot chick’’. I don’t say those words, do you like that phrase ladies? I prefer to say ‘’yes she is good looking’’. But anyways im not sure I would change or if I would change psychology if I proceed. if it would make me a more sociable person or if it would deprss me even moreIf any you have gone through this and was able to get out of it or knew people that did. thankyou
Please help me, i think im lossing it
In reply to:There was this girl at the college I went to that people say that was crazy over me and really wanted me but a friend of hers said to me that I was the rebound guy and I don’t quite know what that is but she asked me to sleep with her I responded maybe latter I wonder if I said the right thing.By "the rebound guy", I presume the friend meant that she had just broken up with a boyfriend. When someone breaks up with a boy/girlfriend of some standing, loneliness is at first very acute, and there is an especially strong drive for a new partner, even someone who doesn't fit so well. It's called being on the rebound from a break-up. So the friend was hinting that the girl wasn't her normal self. You did the right thing not to take advantage, I think.I didn't have a girlfriend until I was almost two years older than you - there is plenty of time, and you seem like a nice considerate person.
Theres nothing wrong with you because you've never kissed a gilr before. I'm sure you've wanted to or you wouldnt be posting right now. It may be that you're a real shy guy and/or you're not very socialable. It may just be that you have high standards and you're waiting for the right someone.I have a friend that sounds about like you. He's a real good guy, really smart, but he's never really had a girlfriend. He just has high standards.I mean anyone can hook up with a ho. Just dont be scared about approaching a girl. Another hint, dont be overly nice. I've never understood it, but the girls tend to not like the nice guy. I remember when I really liked a certain girl and I was always "overly" nice to her she never paid me no mine. Well after a while I got pissed and was kinda an asshole. It wasnt too long after that we started dating. Just be yourself, the time will come.