I'm having trouble figuring out how to deal with certain people. One of my best friends is very annoying to me at times. It isn't something he does directly to me but just an aspect of his personality. Part of it is the fact that he has a really short temper. I takes a lot to get me mad and one of the things that gets me mad is other people being mad for stupid shit. He freaks out about everything possible. He just comes off as a very uptight person and is very egotistical, in my opinion. He's a nice guy... don't get me wrong. He is a hardcore Christian so he has a good set of morals and tries to do the right thing. It really does seem like every little thing upsets him though. He freaks out about people pushing in the disc tray on his 360 instead of using the button. Just little shit like that. It really does get annoying. I have 3 dogs and they shit all over the house and one day I'm sitting at his house and his dog pisses on the floor and he yells "fuck" as loud as he can. I never knew that could be such a big deal. The way I look at it is why get mad at that shit? It doesn't matter. Over the weekend I lost my debit card and I didn't give two shits because I knew I could easily cancel it and get a new one for free. He seems to just get angry without even thinking about what is going on. If you ask him why he is getting mad, he lashes out at you and explains why it is his right to be mad and then explains flaws in your character and tries to compare situations that are incomparable.Any advice on how I can handle this and if I will be able to handle this.
-
Dealing with other people...
-
Some people will just always stress about the small things. They will just never come to the conclusion that these little things just don't matter in the grand sceme of things like the rest of us will.Any chance he's about 14? Aparently 14 year old boys are the angreyest people there are. If he is around this age, he'll grow out of his short temper.
-
Agreed. I have to deal with these types all the time, since I'm an Assistant Scoutmaster here.
-
Are they in the forces???My Sergeant is like that... he is a complete tool!So glad I don't have to put up with him for much longer!!! Had to have him done for bullying me in the end, because of how much he'd get stressed out, then feel the urge to take it out on me :S Sad but true... in fact, he's one of the factors influencing my decision to leave at the point I am... not the main one, I'll admit, but, people like him are a factor, you do get quite a few childish people in the forces... lots of good people too, don't get me wrong, some of my bessie mates are in the forces Anyway, onto some advice as I'm rambling: best bet, while he's on a rant, ignore as much as possible, then, a day or two later when it's all chilled out, bring it up, and point out what a dick this person made themselves look like (obviously, a lil more subtley than how I said it here) cuz, that usually works ... I have a friend who likes to drink waaaaay to much, and then he turns into this person, trying to tell him at the time only serves to exacerbate the situation, telling him when he's chilled out a couple of days later works wonders, and usually keeps him chilled for a couple of weeks before the next occurance In the end, it's only the person that can change themselves, but, unless you point it out when all is calm, and try and show them, then they probably won't even think there's anything wrong, so, as a friend, it's my opinion that you hafta try eh
-
He's 18. His dad was a lieutenant colonel. Like I said, I'm afraid if I try to tell him, he will lash out at me.
-
Unfortunately though, if you don't tell him, even if it's not today, or tomorrow, there will come a point when you can't bear to hang around with him in case of one of his outbursts, the only real choice you have here is to chat with him quietly, preferably with nobody else around, and try to find out if there are any other reasons why he's like this, and explain that he's driving people away from him, if he gets mad, you can cap it for a while, and come back to it another time, but your only other choice is to eventually drift away from him, which you seem disinclinced to do, so you only really have the one option, as I see it.Also, I have to say: you shouldn't be afraid of your friends, nomatter what, I guess it's easy for me to say cuz I'm a rather large unit, but, you shouldn't be afraid of anyone, people will take advantage, and it's entirely possible that subconciously, he's only having these outbursts because he knows he can get away with it, and wants the attention... the only way to find out will be to talk to him though, it might be hard, but, as I say, when an appropriate moment arises, try to talk it through, it'll work out however it's meant to you'll do good, friends respect their friends more if they have the strength of will to confront them about something that is bothering them Hope you figure this out though, sounds like you do need to talk it through, and, we're all here for a sounding board if that's all you need and you don't end up talking, but, if you do chat with him, let us all know how it goes
-
14 year olds are the angriest people? No wonder I was so crazy, now I'm 15 and a half. It must be a heightened level of testosterone.
-
I remember when my brother was about 14.ANY joke at his expense or if he felt victomised in any way or anything like that would set him off screaming and slamming doors.I was VERY funny.
-
There's clearly a considerable difference between you and him, droppydees, in uptightness, but perhaps you should also consider that you may well be considerably more easygoing than most people. Most people would consider it important to house-train their dogs and not be trying to get their excreta out of the carpet. Most people would worry about losing a debit card, since it takes time for the cancellation to go through, and even more time to get the new one. Even his attitude about the disc tray is actually quite understandable - I've had a CD reader broken from doing that.
-
lol my boyfriend is like your friend and as everyone is telling you, they are saying speak to him. If you have speoken to him thought, which I know my boyfriend has had a lot of over teh years from friends and family, they begin to not take so much notice of what your saying. You tell them what they are doing wrong and how its effecting you and they either get mad or they are inspired for a couple of days and then go old habits. I spoke to people on the website and they told me that I needed to take back control for it to be equal between us. SO i spoke to him about his over reactions to everything and he seem to change and then went straight back to his old ways when he feels stressed, its just a habit they get into to release frustration. I knew he needed drastic action to change so I broke up with him temperarily. It was a risk but I needed to do something which showed him that I wasnt going to just be staying around supporting his frustations and tippy toeing around him when he was ignoring me. The changes in him have been up believable. I cant get over it, it has changed his whole life. We are now together again and he is just so different. You cant exactly break uo with your friend, but what Im trying to say is that if this has been happenign for a while he may need soemthign drastic to change him, soemthing which you might not be able to do. Sorry this isnt really much help but I really think as he experiences more he will change
-
Well, I can understand someone being concerned over a lost debit card or a disc tray or something. Everyone is well in their rights to be concerned about their property. But it is another thing to overreact and stress out about it and do it about almost everything. And I know that no one has to be perfect and never get mad. When things happen in a day that frustrate me and I am just having a bad day sure I might flip out if my dog pooped on my carpet. But the thing is he gets frustrated no matter what. He hasn't learned to just let go. He seems like he always wants to be in control. He barely goes to anyone's house. He just stays in his own and makes people go to his house. And I think that it is because he likes to be in control.
-
I just called him and asked him for his dad's # because I've done a lot of work for his dad and I am using him for a reference for job applications and stuff and he sounded like he didn't want to be my friend anymore. He doesn't sound the same for some reason. Ever since we came back from a 4-day music festival we went to (Bonnaroo). I might just drop him as a close friend because he tends to make me mad. Everytime I want to hang out with him, I call him. He never calls me unless he needs me for something. I think I can recall him calling me once to play Risk or something but that's about it.